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Teaching DD to stay in cot- does it mean I should never bring her into bed with me?

(5 Posts)
JuniorMint Thu 30-Jul-15 08:40:16

DD is nearly 15mo, she's always been a poor sleeper at night- waking often and protesting loudly to being put back down into cot! We've fallen into a routine of cuddle to sleep at 8pm and put down in cot, wake around midnight-ish and after a few half-hearted attempts to settle in cot, eventually end up bringing her through to our bed. DH will then eventually slink off to the fold out couch at some point to get some sleep before work- DD is squirmy in bed!

It's worked fine for us and is the way we've all got the most sleep (still tiring though). However, I go back to work in September plus I feel DD is getting to be old enough to understand a bit better about staying in cot and Mummy's still here and still loves you etc.

Last night by accident after I cuddled her to sleep, she woke up when I lowered her into the cot and started standing up and crying/screaming. Usually I would have picked her back up and cuddled some more but for some reason I just thought "No, you're in your cot, it's bedtime", I could tell her cries weren't in any distress such as hungry, cold, dirty nappy etc. so I decided to go with it and see if I could settle her (obviously if she'd become totally distressed or it had taken a prolonged period I would have rethought).

In the end it took maybe 25 mins or so where I stroked/patted, she drifted off, I moved my hand, she woke etc (Ewan the sheep on too). Eventually she fell asleep.

She then woke around 1am, and, spurred on from my earlier success, I tried the same again- it took around 40 minutes of sitting next to the cot stroking and then she was asleep! Very good for her.

She then woke at 5.50am and without really thinking about it, I picked her up and brought her through to our bed- it was too early to get up and spending 40 minutes doing the patting at that time would seem a bit pointless as we get up between 6.30 and 7.00 anyway. So I brought her in with us and we dozed for around 50 minutes until 6.45 then got up.

However, thinking about it now I'm wondering if I should go cold turkey with bringing her into our bed at all- after all she has no concept of whether it's 1am or 6am and why she should stay in the cot at one time and can come into our bed at another time. I would miss the morning snuggles and snooze together though! And if I should go total cold turkey, what should I do if/when she wakes early like pre-6am? Just get up at that time? Try the patting to settle her back to sleep in cot, bearing in mind that by the time she's settled it may well be time to get up?!

Any advice gratefully received, I am however aware that this is all on the basis of just one night and that tonight I will probably end up trying to settle her for about two hours and end up bringing her into bed at about 11pm grin

SweetCharityBeginsAtHome Thu 30-Jul-15 08:47:53

I think you'll probably be OK with the distinction between "still nighttime DD, time to be in your cot" and "morning now, come and have a cuddle before we all get up". Works for most people I think. And in the middle of the night you make exceptions for when she's poorly or had a bona fide nightmare, as opposed to just pissed off.

JuniorMint Thu 30-Jul-15 08:56:27

Thank you for reading and replying SweetCharity. That makes sense- as I said I feel like she's getting old enough/aware enough to understand a bit more so hopefully she will develop and understanding of night time stay in the cot and morning time come for a cuddle- especially with light mornings during the summer.

JuniorMint Thu 30-Jul-15 09:01:46

And yes good point about being aware of being poorly, or dreaded teething (!) in the middle of the night, thank you.

weebairn Thu 30-Jul-15 20:27:56

Is it a problem?

My 2 yr 10 month old mainly sleeps 12 hours a night. It's so great.
But sometimes she wakes up at 5.30am. My boyfriend goes and gets into her bed with her and they sleep or doze or at least stay horizontal till 6am (we don't let her get up before 6am).
We don't view this as a problem. She won't want her daddy in her bed in the morning for ever, or even for much longer.

I have a 10 month old, also. Her sleep isn't perfect. She feeds 3 times in the night. So I go with the "maximising sleep" philosophy. after the first 2 feeds I put her back in cot, because I sleep better without her in the bed, and she seems ok with this. After the 4 or 5 am feed she seems to get stressed and wake up early if I put her back in her cot (and sometimes her sister wakes her!) So after that feed she stays in my bed, and we cuddle and doze till 7am. Which massively beats getting up at 5am.

There's things I want to address about my baby's sleep (purely because I'm just starting a job which involves night shifts) but I see no issue whatsoever with dozy early morning cuddles.

What I'm trying to say is, if it's not a problem for you - it's not a problem. If it is, there are things you can try. x

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