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There's nothing I can do about this awful sleeping is there?

(12 Posts)
Celia1978 Fri 24-Jul-15 14:06:42

I don't think there is, just checking I'm not overlooking anything in my exhaustion!

DS (DC2) is 20 weeks. Wakes literally every hour all night. Maybe goes for a couple of hours at the start/end of the night.

- He's in a co-sleeper crib/sometimes our bed. Doesn't seem to make any difference
- There's currently no other room to move him to; would prefer to have him with us until 6 months anyway
- I'm not opposed to some form of sleep-training at some point but four months feels a bit young to me and more importantly sharing a room with a screaming baby seems like a worse option than what we have now. Plus it will wake DH who has to work and needs his sleep etc.

Is there anything else?! DS is fine generally, happy and chilled out, good weight, sleeps and naps well during the day, not teething… It's not that he's awful at night - just wakes and wants a feed to settle him. It's just he wants one SO OFTEN.

Celia1978 Fri 24-Jul-15 14:09:04

I meant FEEDS and naps well during the day. My brain is fried.

ApplesinmyPocket Fri 24-Jul-15 14:28:14

Didn't want to leave your post unanswered - I remember the desperation of those all-nighters!

It's probably no help at all but when pregnant with DC2 I decided from the start I 'd just co-sleep for a year. DH (working and up at 7am every day) had the double bed, I slept in a nursery bed with the baby. Settled down at 10- ish with fed changed baby snuggled on chest. Half-woke through the night every hour or few as baby searched for nipple. Fed baby and dozed. Repeat through night.

It seemed to work, I wasn't nearly so sleep-desperate as I was the first time round when I believed you HAD to settle the baby in its own sleeping place.

I know you say you have 'no other room' so maybe on the sofa in the living room? make a really cosy nest with pillows and duvet?

Good luck. Sympathies, I know it can be hell while it lasts.

Artistic Fri 24-Jul-15 16:15:13

I was in the same situation & had to start sleep training as I couldn't handle it anymore at 8 months (the frequent earrings started at 4 months). I used a sleep consultant who suggested a good routine to begin with. Followed by a very very gentle sleep solution. I can't say it's fully worked as I am a wimp & I regress if Dd cries. Yet there are massive improvements & she wakes only once or twice at night & resettles quickly with no feeds. I would suggest a good routine and cutting down night feeds in a few weeks. We are still in the same room too & that itself causes so many problems!hmm

cabbageleaf Fri 24-Jul-15 19:03:08

Artistic, what exactly was the sleep solution the sleep consultant suggested?? Am desperately looking for ideas to improve DSs sleep....

Whatabout Fri 24-Jul-15 19:06:32

Please don't co sleep on the sofa, it really is not a good idea. I'd get DH to sleep else where while you tried getting longer between waking.

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle Fri 24-Jul-15 19:09:22

If you are planning on sleep training at some point then the sooner you start the easier it will be. Mine was 4 months and got the hang of it after three nights. Went from hourly wake ups to sleeping through. It is pretty harsh though.

Artistic Fri 24-Jul-15 19:17:31

Celia - first step is to have a routine. Which decides the sleep time & duration ie 9.30, 1.00 & 7.00. In between these there are meals & drinks. Plenty of outdoors. Once this is smoothly running it's about putting LO to sleep in their cot & slowly withdrawing from all past habits (patting, rocking etc) to the point where you can expect to not intervene at all. This teaches them to self soothe & hence fewer waking a in the nights. Also - no night feeds or water between 7 to 7. I didn't use a dummy otherwise that would've had to go too! Me if you need more.grin

Celia1978 Sun 26-Jul-15 21:23:44

Ah, thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. It helps to moan and have people respond! I think some form of training is probably the answer - just have to decide what and when. In the meantime I got a four-hour stretch last night so that feels better!

ChunkyPickle Sun 26-Jul-15 21:33:31

If sleep training doesn't work out for you (I really couldn't do it - and DP is even softer than me), it does calm down eventually (I also remember the on top of the world feeling that getting a solid 4 hour block gave me after months of DS1 waking up every couple of hours)

I couldn't do it, so we just waited for DS1 to grow out of it, and it did get better. At 18 months he was still feeding twice a night (!) - but I was also getting 6 hour stretches of sleep myself.

At 2.5 we used to keep an emergency snack by the bed because he frequently woke up in the middle of the night starving, and a snack and a drink of water put him back to sleep.

Finally, at about 3.5 he started reliably sleeping through. Not just sleeping through, but just happily going to bed/story/sleep with no fuss until 7am - when, even now, breakfast is 2-4 courses (after dinner, and supper the night before) - he just gets hungry.

That's how DS2 happened :D who I think karma took a hand in, because he gave up night feeds before he was 6 months, and was sleeping long stretches from birth!

Celia1978 Mon 27-Jul-15 09:16:53

Thanks ChunkyPickle! I was hoping for an amazing sleeper with DC2 but doesn't look like I've got one... Not that DC1 was that bad but they are both spookily similar so far: they started off great, both of them were sleeping through (10pm - 6am or similar) at three months. But only for a week or so because then it all just falls apart again and gets worse than it's ever been! I think that's what people call the four month sleep regression but in DC1's case it didn't get better again until 8 months when she went into her own room and magically started sleeping through straight away. Remains to be seen with DC2... He did got 1.30am to 4.30am in the middle of last night. Shows how much my standards have fallen that three hours feels great!

Binglebang Tue 28-Jul-15 15:33:20

OP you have my sympathy - my DC1 was a terrible sleeper for a very long time ( and even at 4 isn't great!). Just to say though that I think the general advice from professional sleep trainers is not to sleep train before 6 months - I know other people do though!

I'm about to commence removing DC2's dummy at 8 months and dreading it - but I can't have a repeat of DC1wink

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