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will he ever sleep????

(12 Posts)
Maxiesmum1 Mon 20-Jul-15 20:29:59

Hi! I'm new to netmums and could really do with some help from anyone with similar experiences!

My lo has never slept well, the most he managed was 3/4 hours in a row before 12 weeks but at least it was predictable and he seemed to be happy and alert during the day with only 2/3 hours of naps (almost all in the car/ buggy)

The 4 months sleep regression and two front teeth hit him hard and he now sleeps for no longer than 2 hours at a time and wakes frequently at random intervals anywhere from 15 mins to an hour after I put him down. The only thing I know with any certainty is he will wake up screaming 45 mins after I put him down for the night.

I am at the end of my tether because I feel like we are doing everything that we can to help him sleep and he's getting worse rather than better �� have asked the gp/health visitor for advice but they all come back with a patronising chorus of 'try a bath before bed/ don't feed to sleep/ remember not to have a disco and offer your child a coffee when he wakes overnight!

Anyone got any real mums suggestions? He is bf, has 3ish hours naps mainly in his cot each day, goes to bed at 630/7, has a bath and a feed then a massage and is put down drowsy but awake and then pu/pd however many times it takes (lots) before he finally sleeps...heeeeeelllllllppppp please!!!! X

Artandco Mon 20-Jul-15 20:33:35

How often in the day is he fed? I would increase feeds so he feeds every two hours between waking and 9pm.

Add dreamfeed at 11pm

Bedtime 9pm instead of 6.30/7pm.

Three naps a day. Morning -1hr, after lunch 2 hrs, later afternoon 1hr

Maxiesmum1 Mon 20-Jul-15 20:40:43

Hi, he's now 5 1/2 months so getting pretty distracted feeding during the day, I've tried to up his daytime feeds as I know he prob is taking more in at night but he rejects (quite vocally!) being fed under 3 hours apart, he also wakes around 10 for a feed naturally so sometimes only just finishes at half past - too close for a dreamfeed I think? i'll try pushing his bedtime later and see about a later evening nap too, thanks for your help X

Artandco Mon 20-Jul-15 20:44:16

Maybe bedtime at 8pm then and dreamfeed at 10pm? The idea of dreamfeed is they learn not to wake for food, so you feed him before he wakes. Is he knows his needs will be met without needed to cry

MoominaMama Mon 20-Jul-15 21:24:10

Hi. I really feel for you. I shouted the title of your post in my head so my times. I just wanted to say we went through exactly the same thing and NOTHING we ever did helped at all I'm afraid.

At 10.5 months DS started crawling. Suddenly he is sleeping 12 hours straight overnight and is in a solid 2 nap routine. He always catnapped before this and would wake/feed at least 3 times overnight so we never had a stretch of more than 3 hours sleep.

I know that doesn't help you now .. I just wanted to let you know that if everything you try doesn't work sometimes you just need to find ways of coping/getting rest and hope that some day something will click! I have a more well rested/less frustrated/MUCH happier baby. It never would have happened before he exhausted himself being on the move though!

m33r Tue 21-Jul-15 03:16:09

moomina your post has really helped me because I have tried everything ! Thanks

MoominaMama Tue 21-Jul-15 09:42:40

No problem! The only other things that have helped a little (and Im sure he wouldnt be sleeping well without them) is a totally dark room and white noise playing all night. We had these from about 6 months onwards and it started to help him to self settle on some wake ups hut his sleep still didnt improve dramatically until he was on the move.

Hang on in there. I found it useful to give myself a deadline to reassess. I was convinced he would be better when moving so I said to myself I would just accept the situation for now and then give it a few weeks after he was moving. If there then hadn't been an improvement I would have consideree some sleep training of some sort. Still can't imagine I would have done anything involving crying though. Probably gradual retreat here. I still sit with him until he falls asleep at the moment. Next steps are to start the gradual retreat process to see if I can build up to putting him down and leaving the room straight away. However, it only takes 10-20 minutes for him to drop off so i dont really mind sitting there for that amount of time.

Good luck!

Maxiesmum1 Wed 22-Jul-15 19:38:38

Hi again, thanks for all your replies, I tried a later nap and later bedtime and actually went really well, no way we could make it to 8/9 as he was really tired by 630 but managed a bedtime the last 2 nights of 730 and although he still woke up it was super easy to settle him, didn't even have to lift him! I'll prob keep pushing it back a little at a time until we find a happy bedtime but thinking 730 might be as late as he can manage.

I'll try the white noise idea too, I have an app that I use if we're out and about and it normally helps him drift off and he LOVES falling asleep to the hairdryer!

Thanks again! X

Maxiesmum1 Wed 22-Jul-15 19:40:09

Also got my sights fixed on crawling now, 6 hours tummy time 2mo! X

nottheOP Wed 22-Jul-15 19:47:01

It sounds like he's treating the bedtime as a nap rather than bedtime iyswim. Do you do a routine to differentiate between day and night?

I'd set a limit to nighttime feeds. There's an element of encouraging shoehorning some babies into feeding in the day and not night. I night weaned at 7 months as solids were good.

Use a non lactating person to settle where possible for any wake ups where it's too soon and build upon this. Eg week 1, 3 hours, week 2 4 hrs until you're where you think you should be. I'd say 2 feeds max at this age but you know your baby.

Maxiesmum1 Fri 24-Jul-15 08:22:50

Hi, think you're right, he was treating his bedtime as a nap so for the last few days I've made bedtime later and given him an extra catnap before bedtime. Nap routine is a short story, a cosy outfit/sleepsuit, kiss and 'naptime for tired boys' then I pop on white noise and leave him to settle. He's great at this and often sleeps for 2+ hours with no crying but bedtime seemed to be a different matter!!! Bedtime routine is bath, massage, feed and lullabies then Ewan dream sheep and pu/pd until he settles but it was taking us up go 45 mins some nights and then he was back awake 45/15/30 mins later!!

Early days but seems to settle so much better and I'm feeling a bit guilty that I hadn't noticed how overtired he was by the time we were putting him down and although he's now going to sleep later he is sleeping better and consequently getting more sleep overall.

I also played white noise for the early evening (7-10) and he only woke once very briefly - last week it was every hour/ 45 mins!!!

Think i'll defo follow ur lead on night weaning when he's established solids, he has always been a hungry boy and is often up 3/4 times to feed overnight, I know he has not always needed this much and there's an element of me feeding him back to sleep coz its easy and I'm soooo tired. For the last month although he's been up and down like a yoyo he has only fed 2/3 times so hoping we can maintain that and slowly encourage less.

Thanks so much for all your help, you can read every sleep page under the sun but not realise what's not working until someone points out the obvious!! Xxx

nottheOP Fri 24-Jul-15 13:06:17

Glad it is improving. I think when you're in it, and you're tired, it can be hard to see what's going on. Overtiredness is so often the culprit!

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