baby sleeps but I don't!!!!

[lexyloub]

Ds is 4 months old he has always been a good sleeper and with sleep a good 10-13hrs a night with the occasional putting dummy back in but me sleeping is a whole other story.

I can go to sleep Easy enough around 10.30/11 but come 2am ish bam I'm wide awake brain doing over time can't switch off. Sometimes that's it I'm up for the day then other times it can get to 6/6.30 when I'm ready to drop off but then not long after this the children are getting up.

I've been to see my GP and discussed this as I'm very anxious and emotional she's put me on citalopram now taking 20mg it has helped me during the day to cope with things that other wise would send me into melt down but still I can't get a full night's sleep I'm worn out. I'm due to see gp again next week but any suggestions would be helpful. If I could take my head off before going to bed and put it back on again in the morning that would be great

[icklekid]

I'm very similar and about to start counselling do you think this might be worth considering alongside the medication?

[lexyloub]

My GP has suggested it but talking really isn't my thing I'd probably get even more anxious and worked up just at the thought of going it takes a big effort for me to see the gp

[icklekid]

Fair enough I just wonder if whatever is causing the anxiety will ever be able to be dealt with and therefore reduce otherwise? I know in my situation I don't think it would. ..

[MoominaMama]

I know you have said counselling isnt for you ... but this is the only thing that helped me when I was in a similar situation. If you are not a talker maybe you could start a diary or something to get thoughts out of your head. Or look up mindfullness/meditation and find some relaxation techniques to help yourself?

[LHReturns]

Poor you OP, I have been exactly here. I had very bad post natal anxiety and some depression from when my son was 3 months until he was 9 months. This led to major sleeping issues, which I am happy to say have largely passed (and I am better).

How long have you been on your citalopram? It took at least two months for escitalopram to positively impact my sleep (escitalopram is similar to citalopram). It helped my mood and anxiety many weeks before my sleep improved. I now can sleep until between 5am and 6am which is not great but good enough!

Another thought, does it have to be you listening for your baby every night? Eg do you breast feed in the night? Because if not, on 'free nights' it might be worth taking something like 2.5mg - 5mg of zolpidem the moment you wake at 2am. I suggest this because it would be good to break your cycle of lying awake at all hours. When you wake, you get back to sleep as quickly as possible with very low dose of sleeping pill.

Lots of people hate the idea of sleeping pills, so simply an idea, not a recommendation. It helped me until the escitalopram did its full thing, kicked the habit of 'shxt, it's 2am again, I'm never going to sleep'....and now I don't wake at silly hours.

What do you think?

[makeminea6x]

Try to get more information from your GP about what "counselling" involves. It varies hugely. Near me, it's much more likely to be CBT and not really sitting there talking about your feelings. More practical ways of learning to think more positively.

[Sunflower1985]

I had post natal anxiety. (and pre natal and pre pre natal anxiety ). IME you can either treat the anxiety (counselling, medication) or the symptom (CBT). Not all work for all, but if you're feeling so sucky right now, what's the harm. I hope you find some support.

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

CBT isn't like other talking therapies either. My PND (debilitating with both kids) manifested itself as a general anxiety disorder and I didn't sleep for months. OP I hope the cilatopram works for you but please do consider some CBT as well if possible.

[Postino]

Poor you I've been there too, started when my first was about 4 months old and developed into insomnia that lasted 3 years. What helped me most was this book It may look like just a run of the mill self-help book but she (the author) had insomnia for 15 years so knows what she's talking about.

Her basic message is that what's keeping you awake it the fear of not sleeping. The adrenaline (I think, haven't read it for ages) causes you to stay too alert to drop off even if you're knackered.

It helped me by explaining this, and by extension stopping me panicking about what I was doing wrong - anything from caffeine intake to childhood issues! Anyway I've been recommending it to everyone ever since

[lexyloub]

I've been taking citalopram for about 10 weeks now. I don't speak to anyone about how I'm feeling including dh he has his own anxiety issues so it wouldn't help plus I don't see how burdening others with my thoughts is going to help me get a full night's sleep

[Diryan]

I had the same issue when my baby was a similar age - it was awful, so I hugely sympathise. I too took ADs, but a side-effect of many of them, including citalopram, is insomnia, so they can potentially make things even worse. Have you tried sleeping pills? I took Zopiclone for a few nights and it massively helped. I think a) it "reset" my body-clock a bit and b) it reduced my anxiety about not being able to sleep, because i knew I had sleeping-pills in the house which I could take if I couldn't fall asleep.

[LHReturns]

Diryan, I agree with your advice to OP entirely. My AD sorted out my sleep problems eventually, but having Zolpidem in the house is a critical back up for me.

I have always been told by (a fair few) psychiatrists that if one of the reasons you are taking ADs is to address insomnia (caused by anxiety and /or depression) then the AD will almost certainly help with sleep (after 6 - 8 weeks on the right dosage; sleep can worsen at first).

It is the poor people that take ADs when insomnia is NOT one of the starting symptoms that can suddenly develop sleep problems. So in OPs case (as I read it), I would expect her sleep to benefit from the correct dose of citalopram. I am wondering if she needs to increase her dose if she is not feeling decent improvement after 10 weeks.

[lexyloub]

I'm back at the gp on wed she didn't want to give me sleeping tablets if we could help it obviously with having children to look after so will see what she says then maybe a very mild dose might help I don't want to be too out of it that I can't wake up if the kids need me. It's bloody hard being a mum isn't it you just can't win

[LHReturns]

Lexyloub it would be better to only take a full sleeping pill on nights when someone else is listening for your children.

However a really small dose might help you get off to sleep, or back to sleep for a few more hours when you wake at 2am; I can easily take 2.5mg of zolpidem (for example) and feel no effects if I have to deal with my one year old at any point, even very soon, afterwards. Seriously I would feel more effects from one glass of wine. However I accept that every person is unique, and I am fairly tolerant of sleeping medication.

[lexyloub]

None of them tend to wake in the night anyway so I'd probably be ok but don't think I'd risk it just in case anything did happen, yet another bloody stupid thing I'm over anxious about!

[LHReturns]

I totally understand, this was me for so long. Treating the anxiety (which evolved into depression as well) was my only real solution. Treating the insomnia seemed so temporary and prolonging the suffering.

Please talk to your GP about whether you are on the right AD and at the right dosage. After 10 weeks I would expect you to be feeling much better, and starting to see signs of being able to sleep until later than 2am. When it starts to work it won't be sudden, will improve little by little over a few weeks. But it will be marked and your confidence in your sleep will creep back.

[Happyyellowcar]

I have had periods of this, especially after DS1 was born 5 yrs ago. I was terribly anxious and couldn't sleep for months. I still have this sometimes with DD (8months) even though she sleeps ok. 2 things I have found to help are making a "sleep tape" on the iPod to listen to at night ( I did some hypnotherapy courses a long time ago so could make one for myself but you can buy one or go to a real hypnotherapist to make one for you) and having a couple of nights a week where you are "off duty" I.e. DH would go in with DC so I could totally switch off. Of course they would always sleep through those nights but hey ho! It gets better with time, hang in there!