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4 year old not going to sleep, ANY ideas?

(9 Posts)
kohl Wed 17-Jun-15 22:10:28

DD1 (4.9) is exhausted: dark circles, pale face, snappy, arsey, no energy the whole shebang.
She will not go to sleep before 10-10.30, wakes at 7/7.30, and it's just not enough sleep for her.

We put her to bed around 7 every night with a v similar routine-supper, wee, bath/sink wash on alternate nights, teeth, pyjamas, stories, prayers, music, gro clock, night light on, kisses, out of the door.

She dicks around with her toys/books/gymnastics across the floor/sometimes just lying there til 10-10.30. We go in to check every 30 mins or so.

I've asked & asked what the matter is-it ranges from: monsters (we move the scary stuff from her room-bookcase, charlie & Lola poster, etc. I spray room w monster go away spray, I tell her how much we love her & how monsters can't come near mummy & daddy love etc etc) )
'I just want to play' we tell her not time to play, if she chooses to play she loses tv time the next day.
'I want you with me' so I sit quietly in her room and lose a chunk of my evening and she's still awake.

But none of this really works, she stays awake until she passes out with exhaustion.

No major changes in her life, dd2 is 15 months & still in our room, (v wakeful, teething, 2 bed flat) and I know she finds that hard, we've talked about it.

What do I do, because it's seriously beginning to tip me over the edge. She just finds it funny. Is it the attention? If so, what do I do? It's making her a tired crosspatchy

kohl Wed 17-Jun-15 22:11:44

little girl.

Sorry about the epic post, as you might be able to tell I am desperate!

SkodaLabia Wed 17-Jun-15 22:16:25

Is she getting much exercise?

Is her room properly dark? Would a black out blind help?

Twistedheartache Wed 17-Jun-15 22:22:04

Have you got space for a mattress on the floor in your room? Maybe she's feeling left out?

kohl Wed 17-Jun-15 22:41:48

Maybe we need to put the black out blinds up again, skoda, I guess i gave up on them because it seems to make the room so hot. She does lots of walking, scooting, ballet, swimming, general running around...

twisted I'm sure, at some level, she does feel left out, particularly as I'm breastfeeding DD2, but we've tried having her in our bed & she just will not sleep, also as it's the getting to sleep, I worry about her & DD2 in the same room without us at 7/8 and DD1 waking up DD2.

Just getting to that shit stage of taking it really personally & feeling like it's never going to get better because I am a terrible mother.sad

WutheringFrights Wed 17-Jun-15 22:54:10

I could have written this exact thread last night. DD (4 in a few weeks) has suddenly become reluctant to sleep.
Last night after two warnings and confiscating her two favourite bedtime toys she was still faffing about at 10pm.
I went back in to her room and she had ripped up part of a toy that she had been given by one of my friends. I might have lost the plot slightly....and very calmly removed every single toy, book, cushion, blanket from her room...obviously leaving her with her pillow and duvet. 5 minutes later she was asleep.
Tonight we put the black out blind at her window. She asked very very nicely for the return of all her toys. I suggested she chose two to take to bed as she had upset me with last night's shenanigans. Tonight she was asleep by 8.15.
Moral of this story is take away all possible stimulation from the bedroom...they get so bored they sleep!

SkodaLabia Thu 18-Jun-15 07:48:56

That's why I was thinking of the blackout blind, it would cocoon her a bit, IYSWIM.

CPtart Thu 18-Jun-15 08:05:12

Remove toys and books, but encourage comfort from cuddly toys.
Put blackout blind up.
Don't keep going back in each 30 mins, don't get into habit of sitting with her and definitely no mattresses on bedroom floor-ridiculous.
I am harsh though grin but had two good sleepers.

TheBobbinIsWound Thu 18-Jun-15 08:25:47

Morning reward chart for staying in bed
Another sticker for going to sleep at xxx time (bigger stickers for earlier times)
X number of stickers (a week) = reward with mummy only and no baby for an activity. Perhaps baking (so in the house whilst brother naps) or a trip out somewhere baby won't appreciate.

And remove her toys. Get cross when you can hear her dicking about.

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