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Best sleep training at 6 months old.

(6 Posts)
Pandasandmonkeys Fri 05-Jun-15 21:33:21

I'm literally at my wits end and on my knees with exhaustion. Dd is 6 months and had always been a very needy, clingy baby. She's ebf and refuses bottles and dummies. She will have nothing to do with her dad or my mum and just wants me all the time. For 6 months I've left her twice and been called home after an hour both times as she just screams blue murder til I arrive.

Until recently, nights haven't been too bad; I feed her to sleep, put her in the cot at 7 and she slept til at least 11pm, fed and went back down easily (often awake and drifting off alone) til around 3am when she'd get really fussy so we co slept the rest of the night.

But now we seem to have hit a wall where she cries the moment she's put in the cot, I've tried leaving her to self settle but she seems to have forgotten and just starts screaming. She'll only stay asleep if I feed her on my bed and lie with her. It's total unfeasable as DS (2.5) needs me too and I haven't been able to put him to bed or even kiss him good night for weeks as I'm tied to dd and DH has taken over with him.

I used rapid return with ds at 14 months old and he was sleeping through within a week. But I'm not sure if she's too young? Any tips, strategies would be great. Ty.

TwigletFiend Sat 06-Jun-15 10:18:45

flowers for you, firstly!

I had exactly the same. DD is now 6.5 months, we had this about a month ago. In the end it was resolved because I just had to give myself breathing room or I knew I was going to get cross with her, which is ridiculous! So I fed her to sleep at bed time, put her down as usual. I left the room and stood outside the door for two minutes as she howled, which was the longest two minutes of my life! Went back in, picked up, back on boob until sleeping, put down and repeat. Personally I couldn't bear to wait longer than the two minutes to soothe - I guess it's a kind of CC technique, if you want to stick a name on it. I just didn't ever leave her for longer time periods like most CC manuals advise. The first night I think it took about 90 minutes to settle her, second night about 20 minutes and since then not had a reoccurrence! Obviously you might not want to do similar and it's so hard to persevere, but I just kept reminding myself that she is still so small that she's just crying because she needs my help to sleep. The two minutes gave me enough time to smooth out my frustration without her getting hysterical - definitely think for me leaving her to cry for that short time was better than getting cross/tearful because I was overwhelmed. The lesser of two evils for sure!

As to the leaving, also had that problem. It has definitely improved as she has gotten older and is more mobile and interested in toys, games etc. Will she stay with DP in one room while you are in the house but out of sight?

Pandasandmonkeys Sat 06-Jun-15 15:26:20

Hi, thanks for your reply. At the weekends DH tries to take her downstairs when she wakes early so I can catch up on sleep. But after about 45 mind she's wailing for me. Sometimes he'll take her and ds out for a walk which gives me a big longer but she'll cry in the buggy too �� lovely that she loves her mama so much but the clingyness is ridiculous. I often wonder what I've done wrong this time as we had no such issues with ds. He's so chilled out its untrue and was an incredibly good baby. I guess we were just spoilt first time around!!
DH really wants to help more but he feels so rejected by her and although he's a great dad to ds, he's lost all baby confidence and doesn't know what to do for her. No matter what he tries, and, bless him, he's tried everything, she just a screams, pushes away and howls until she gets back to me x

flipflopsonfifthavenue Sat 06-Jun-15 19:56:56

In very similar boat and have posted on here about trying - and failing - gradual retreat with my 7mo.
I haven't done my DS1 bedtime since DS2 was born (apart from odd time I've had to do the two of them when DP has gone out)
I night weaned and sleep trained DS1 at 14mo too and it worked very well and vowed id do it earlier with DS2. He wakes several times in the eve and we co sleep. It's like he can't bear to be away from me. He only naps in the sling and I'm going potty.
Tried gradual retreat and even with the side off the cot and me basically lying IN THE COT with him he screamed for almost an hour. And i mean howled. Nothing I could do to calm him so I ended up giving up and feeding to sleep.
Been doing bedtime for an hour this eve and have tried to put him in the cot three times now and he's woken each time sad
No advice but I feel your pain flowers

Pandasandmonkeys Sat 06-Jun-15 20:12:27

It's soul destroying. I know, obviously, that all babies are different, but we've done nothing different in his we've cared for them as babies, but they are so very different. Dd has had terrible naps today so I've given in tonight and just left her sleeping on my bed after I fed her to sleep. She's not rolling properly yet but in still paranoid that she'll fall off; despite me having put pillows down each side of the king size bed and her being star fish posed in the middle. DH and I will now spend the evening taking turns to watch the monitor, just in case....
Start again on Monday night. Absolutely shattered.

auberginefrog Sun 07-Jun-15 22:29:28

Hi not a sleep training thing but what works quite often with my daughter who also screams when put in cot (or sleeping bag now - she really hates bedtime) is distraction my hair dryer for a couple of minutes or music and then she often realises she's tired and nods off. Not always but might be worth a try? Also leaving her to cry for a couple of minutes sometimes helps as I think our attempts to get her to sleep get her too overstimulated sometimes - good luck

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