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Staying calm with erratic sleeping

(8 Posts)
Septbaby Mon 02-Feb-15 05:02:58

DS is nearly 5 months and has developed into a completely erratic sleeper day and night, only through googling tonight have I realised it could be linked to 4 month development spurt, so at least that has given me some context to this new hell! What I was hoping for is if any of you lovelies have any coping strategies for waking constantly in the night, I'm not usually a particularly stressed out person but this is really testing my patience (and then because of the tiredness, my patience is short in the daytime) coupled with the fact that DS has learned to screech instead of crying and that my DH is the worlds worst at getting disturbed sleep and ends up huffing and slamming his way into the spare room, I'm finding myself with a huge knot in my stomach and tears streaming down my face trying to keep everyone else calm. DS fell asleep 45 mins ago and now I can't switch off sad Any wise words of serenity and calmness to help me not get as stressed out? Thank you x

MissRabbitsSister Mon 02-Feb-15 05:27:25

Oh God, it's just horrible isn't it? I have no magic solution only that keeping calm is by far the best way. Expect the worst, then anything half decent is a bonus. I kind of channel ' earth mother' which is the furthest away from the type of person i really am! I look at dd and think you know what this isn't going to be forever, she's just learning how to sleep (or not...) and is trying to settle in to being a human being. All I can do is help her. If I have a ' night off' on the horizon (dh does afew over nights a week as we both work FT) I think about that and imagine getting into bed with no stress and that keeps me going. I also look at mumsnet, the amount of people going through the same thing makes me feel better about it!

TeamEponine Mon 02-Feb-15 05:35:01

I know exactly how you feel, and I posted on sleep this morning in a similar state! Tonight I've tried having white noise running constantly to try to help DD sleep. Not sure whether it is helping her or not, but it is having the unexpected benefit of being quite calming for me. Might that be worth a try?

Septbaby Mon 02-Feb-15 09:28:55

Thank you for making me think I'm not crazy, it's so hard! I definitely might give the White noise a try and give the earth mother mentality a go x

Heatherbell1978 Mon 02-Feb-15 10:47:19

I'm in exactly the same situation. DS1 went from being a fairly good sleeper (although not all night) to waking up constantly at 4 months. We're now a month on and it seems to just get worse and worse. Last night I was up every hour although we decided to move him into his own room to see if that would help. It didn't but I'm going to persevere. I'm tired, so very tired. And I keep reading about all these different strategies and routines but I'm too tired to implement any of them. He uses a dummy and that's all he wants when he wakes but I don't have the energy to work out how to take it off him. Makes it worse when I go to baby groups and all I get is 'poor you' and I think, so am I the only one with a 5 month old who wakes in the night!!

FATEdestiny Mon 02-Feb-15 13:18:27

He uses a dummy and that's all he wants when he wakes but I don't have the energy to work out how to take it off him.

Why do you want to take the dummy off him if it is all he wants to get to sleep?

Getting rid of the dummy completely is a worry for way in the future, when you are not sleep deprived. Not a worry for now.

I don't move my DC into their own room until they are able to put their own dummy in. Up to that point, much easier to have baby in cot next to me and just reach across to put the dummy back in if needed.

(I only usually need do this once in the night with my September born DD).

The better and quicker baby settles with the dummy, the deeper their sleep and over time they should only need the dummy when first going to sleep, not through the night.

Septbaby - Wise words for serenity? Just know you are not alone - I'd guess at well over 90% of first born children having sleep difficulties (and still many second and third borns). Just about all parents go through it, they really do.

How about trying the 5 minute rule to start teaching self-settling? Give baby 5 minutes to try and settle themselves before you go to him.

Also consider the dummy debate. Babies brains are (apparently) not ready to self sooth without any prop until well after the pre-school age. So decide for yourself if you are willing to wait 3 or 4 years for the baby to naturally self settle. Or work hard to introduce a sleep prop before then.

Septbaby Mon 02-Feb-15 20:19:12

FATEdestiny we do use a dummy, he just seems to be an expert at flinging it out of his mouth as he's a serial face rubber when tired which leads to me rooting in the Moses basket trying to find it which probably wakes him more, I'm going to buy a dummy clip tomorrow to attach it to his sleeping bag so hoping this will help. I do implement the 5 min rule in the daytime but it's so hard at night when he's screeching his head off, think I'm just going to have to toughen up and not worry about DH being woken up. Thank you for the reassurance it's just at 4am It sometimes feels like you're the only one. I will take comfort tonight though lol! wink
Heatherbell the 'poor you' brigade make parenting so hard, why doesn't anyone just say me too, let's admit defeat together! I know what you mean about the millions of different ways to try, it makes your head hurt when all you want to do is close your eyes lol! I'll be thinking of you tonight but I promise I won't utter a poor or a you! grin

FATEdestiny Mon 02-Feb-15 21:07:41

The face rubbing thing is developmental, it should pass. We have ribbons sewed onto the chest of all our sleeping bags, with a press-stud at the end, for attaching the dummy to.

This means the dummy doesn't get lost flung or lost. It also makes it easier for parent to find dummy and reinsert. In time, it will make it easier for the child him/herself find the dummy to put back in during the night.

A dummy clip would work the same. It's just that they have quite large clips so when baby is turning over, might press into the skin and be uncomfortable.

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