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9 months, constant waking, help please!

(8 Posts)
milkyway1304 Tue 27-Jan-15 03:04:09

My little girl is 9months. She slept through the night from 8weeks til 24weeks. Since then it's been all downhill. She is breastfed, refuses bottles/soothers. She happily drinks water from a cup but not milk.

Currently she goes to bed following a bath, story and feed at approx 730pm. She goes into her cot awake and has since 7months. She generally sits up, pulls up and rolls about for about 30mins-1hour before eventually sleeping. If I leave the cotside she becomes hysterical within a minute or two (have never got further away than this with gradual retreat!). She will then wake 1130, 130, 430, 6 for example and get up for the day 830-9am. She demands and feed at each of these wake ups and becomes hysterical if anyone but me tries to settle her. We co-sleep after the 130am wakening but I find I just can't settle to sleep myself when I know I'll be awoken again in 2 hours or so.

She barely eats any solids (I'm sure because she fills up overnight), and demands breastfeed every 2-3 hours- I've been stretching this out to every 4 hours or so by distracting her but this makes no difference to her solid intake. She takes two 45minute naps a day, I've tried and tried to extend them unsuccessfully. She is happy between these however so I'm not too put out by them. I'm due back to work in a few weeks, and will be working shifts so I desperately need her to a) eat b) settle for my husband if I'm working at night c) not feed all night.

We have tried pick up put down which just wound her up. She has terrible separation anxiety at the moment also.

Sorry for the essay but we really need any suggestions.

milkyway1304 Wed 28-Jan-15 01:13:41

Any suggestions?

Tonight's looking to be bad. She went into cot awake at 830, woke at 1030 and 1230 so far. My husband tried to settle her both times and she cried constantly until he called me. I'm trying to hold out and not feed her now until at least 3 (last fed 1030) and she's cuddled up beside me so no chance of getting her into cot. She refused breakfast and lunch and had 2 pieces of penne at dinner. Presumably she's waking because she's hungry but won't eat in day as she's gorging on milk all night. I thought cracking the whole drowsy but awake first thing was meant to sort out all sleep issues but it certainly hasn't helped us.

milkyway1304 Wed 28-Jan-15 01:30:22

Any suggestions at all?

Tonight's been terrible so far. Went into cot awake at 8, asleep at 845. Woke at 1030- fed and back to cot. Woke at 12- I have been trying not to feed her and she's still awake; becomes hysterical if I hand her to my husband. She can't possibly need to feed every 90mins overnight. She has eaten precisely 1 piece of penne today. She's obviously filling up on milk all night. I just don't know how to break the cycle.
I don't mind feeding her overnight just not every 2 hours. And if I'm working night shifts I need her to settle for someone else.
Everything I've read suggests putting them into cot awake solves all sleep problems- we've worked really hard to achieve this and things just keep getting worse.

milkyway1304 Wed 28-Jan-15 01:32:38

Sorry posted first and It said it failed. Then posted again and they both appeared!

splodgeses Wed 28-Jan-15 07:43:27

I have sympathy in bucket loads for you. I am going through similar night troubles with my 6mo old who was a fantastic sttner until just recently. Not the best help am I? But I didn't want to read and run.

I have been told that any sleep training method usually takes at least 7 nights before any results are noticed. Perhaps you need to try where I failed to keep at it a bit longer. Also, if your partner can afford a bit of broken sleep, tag team with the training, that way she understands that both of you have the same rules iyswim.

As for the night feeds, if you can, completely cut one or two from the night (you may need to express a little) She may cry and scream, but she is not starving, and if you do it at the same time as sleep training, you may well tackle both problems together.

Finally, down to the weaning. Give her plenty of finger foods during the day, and perhaps try one or two spoonfuls of a baby cereal at 10am (or whenever seems appropriate to you) This should spark an interest in food and help you get more solids on the table. Literally just one spoonful, at a regular time in the day will instill a bit of routine on that front.

I really wish you the best. Things get better eventually, they must do, as my dd is almost 9y. So I just keep going knowing that things with ds will work out in the end. I am attempting to start and stick to pick up put down tonight.

cakebrew keep your chin up, and here is a wine for later.

milkyway1304 Wed 28-Jan-15 15:29:53

Thanks splodgeses! I'm afraid I've tried every combination of spoon feed and finger feed and she just isn't interested. I know she'll get there in the end, it's just stressful. I may be able to delay return to work which would certainly take the pressure off. I'm hoping if I can cut back on the milk feeds she will start eating. Sleep is a secondary concern really! As it happens she took her first 1.5 hour nap ever today so fingers crossed it continues!

splodgeses Wed 28-Jan-15 16:20:48

Well I will keep my fingers crossed for you too.

I am sorry I wasn't much help re the feeding, I remember my dd never wanting solids and crying desperately at a hv who told me it was my own fault because I should have started earlier hmm angry
But she is almost 9 and eats well enough, isn't fussy in the slightest in fact. My ds is just a ravenous little monster and will eat whatever gets put in front of him. And he doesn't sleep as well as he used to, or nearly half as well as dd. I guess every child ia different smile
Anyway, good luck for tonight. My fingers crossed on both hands as I begin sleep training tonight too!
flowers

sometimesyouwin Wed 28-Jan-15 16:28:09

Hi, I'm not sure I've got any great suggestions but wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat with my 9.5mth DS2 and also went through the same with my DS1 who is now 4. The only way I cope is to co-sleep and breastfeed. Some nights I'm pretty sure he wakes every 40 minutes and other nights if I'm lucky he'll give me a couple of 2 hour chunks. He's just started to pick up on the eating front although doesn't do well with finger food so I get quantity into him with purees, but this hasn't made any difference to his night waking so I suspect it's comfort sucking. He's a dummy and bottle refuser! I think you're doing the right thing at night. If I had the energy to make a change or was going to be working night shifts like you I would refuse feeds between certain hours to start with and gradually space them out. Keep getting your DH to try a bottle too as once she realises you aren't going to feed her she may well eventually take one. It might be worth someone else trying to give her a bottle during the day when she's not tired as a starting point so she's not stressed out about it. If it helps my DS1 eventually started sleeping through on his own without me changing anything. Would it be possible to delay your return to work a little by using some annual leave? I really hope you manage to get something sorted. It's not easy so I feel for you!

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