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Leave her tocry? Or any other advice..

(17 Posts)
Manyproblemsinthishouse Sat 24-Jan-15 19:49:04

dd(5mo) will not sleep. She was a great sleeper till a month or so ago. Now she won't sleep at all all day , I've tried swings, my arms, a car, the pushchair, the sling, white noise ect. Then it comes to night time and she rubs her eyes, yawns so I put her to bed around 7 when she shows she's tired, she'll sleep for 5 mins.. Then scream, have a bit of bottle, sleep for 5 mins and it continues..

I can't do it much more, I am exhausted and I can't keep going to her every 5/10 mins!! From about midnight she'll sleep only wake about 3/4 times till 7 when she wakes up for the day.

I don't know what to do anymore and am considering leaving her to cry but I really don't know if she's to young! Any advice?? I am losing my mind!!!

nyldn Sat 24-Jan-15 20:00:26

No advice, but you're not alone. my 5.5 mo old DS is doing the same thing. we're at a loss...

WhyNotSmile Sat 24-Jan-15 20:03:34

We're just coming through this with DS, and it's so hard! He wasn't a great sleeper after the very first few weeks, but had reached the stage of going 3hr stretches at night, when he reached 4 months and it all fell apart! He's now almost 6 months and things have improved again.

If you Google "4month sleep regression" you'll get info on how many babies often do this - their sleep changes at about that time, and initially it can make them wake up more. It seems to take a few weeks to a couple of months to settle down. I found that just knowing that made it easier to cope with!

In the meantime, here are some things that helped:

He would sleep in his pram during the day, so I put him in it at night. He seemed to feel more secure in there or something. I just used the pram top, on the floor, propped up well and with straps removed or pulled back as much as possible. This allowed him to sleep in our room (rather than in his cot in his own room), so at least it was easier for me to get to him for feeds.

He seemed a bit cold some nights, so I got him a couple of "gro-suits", which have padded arms to keep him warm.

He has eczema, and we realised that that could have been waking him up, along with teething. Couldn't do much about the teeth other than painkillers; took him to GP about eczema and got some creams etc which seemed to soothe it. Maybe have a think whether your DD has any kind of condition that could be keeping her awake. Even check things like the seams on sleepsuits in case something like that is digging into her.

I've never known how much daytime sleep affects things. My MIL insists that we should keep him awake so he sleeps at night, but I think he does better if he's well-rested. He doesn't really nap that much though, unless he's in the pram or out in the car, so I try to plan the day so that he'll get a sleep morning and afternoon at least.

Other than that, call in all the help you can get and sleep when you can!

Manyproblemsinthishouse Sat 24-Jan-15 21:48:39

Thanks! Nice to know I'm not alone, have googled 4month sleep regression and does make me feel better knowing it will pass! Thanks for tips!
She slept through from 4 weeks, couldn't believe my luck ! That didn't take long to change!

nyldn Sat 24-Jan-15 22:08:51

whatnot.... that's so interesting, our DS had eczema along the crown of his head and it's finally been healed with a hydrocortisone cream. I wonder if it was affecting him much more then we realised.

NancyDroop Sat 24-Jan-15 22:23:06

We were at our wits end with our 7 mo and hired a sleep consultant (advice via email and phone).

Her main advice was to not pick them up in the night if at all possible. Feed for nurishment, not comfort. You'd have to look up the recommended number of night feeds for x mo, by 9-12 m it is fine at 0.

The first night DD howled quite a lot. We went in every few mins when she cried, touched her, said "night night" and walked out. Eventually she drifted off. It was a bit sad but....... the second night she only woke up 2-3 times (down from her usual 7-10), 3rd night she woke up once.

We were AMAZED how quickly it worked. Our sleep consultant said we were confusing and stimulating her a lot with the constant picking up. Is it morning? Is it food time, boob time, sleep time?

Not picking her up has led to a lot less crying over all.

WhyNotSmile Sun 25-Jan-15 20:24:18

If it helps, my DS appears to be a much better sleeper now than he ever was before the sleep trouble started. He can now get himself back to sleep when he wakes up (unless he's hungry or something). This morning we woke up to the sound of cooing and gurgling rather than crying!

123upthere Mon 26-Jan-15 10:44:52

Nancy Droop reassured to read your post about the not picking up I do feel I'll have to try this with my 11mo last night she eventually settled after several pick up lay down every time she kept standing up in the cot. I'm hoping after reading your post that tonight will take less assistance from me and perhaps tomorrow night will be even less. Thank you.

Showy Mon 26-Jan-15 10:52:09

123upthere, the standing up in the cot all the time is developmental. Usually starts at 10 or 11 months. If you watched them, you'd see them start to stand while still asleep even. It's their brain strengthening all the neural pathways needed for walking. Makes them get up and often they can't understand how or why they're there or what to do. Tough for all concerned but especially upsetting for the child as it isn't always a conscious, wilful decision. It passes as they master the skill. It really helped me to understand why and that it wasn't forever.

123upthere Mon 26-Jan-15 11:46:40

Thanks showy

JugglingLife Mon 26-Jan-15 11:49:41

Is she on solids yet? Mine always needed supper in the bath (normally some really filling cereal), worked a treat.

NancyDroop Mon 26-Jan-15 14:37:05

123upthere let me know how you get on. It really was a game changer for us and it changed so quickly with not picking her up. Totally "Oh why didn't we just do that earlier? That was quite easy". We didn't know though - we picked her up every time she cried before our sleep consultant set us straight.

123upthere Mon 26-Jan-15 20:19:05

Thanks Nancy I started bathtime earlier as today she had a 2hr morning nap then a 45 min afternoon nap ending at 2pm. She stayed awake happily all afternoon. Dinner at 5pm. Bath 5.45pm, milk & into bed 6.30.

Awake 20 mins later

7pm-8pm grizzling in cot, playing with doll, grizzling, shouting, standing up, sitting down, grizzling. I was nearby settling my other kids who just read with their booklights then drop off to sleep so brilliantly

I reassured her with kisses and gentle 'go to sleeps' up to 26 times tonight! She finally fell asleep at 8 I can hear snoring

Hoping tomorrow it takes less time

NancyDroop Mon 26-Jan-15 20:29:06

I'm sure it will be easier tomorrow. I found that my LO quickly started understanding: oh this is where I go to sleep. I think she eas confused before. No when she wakes in the night she might snort or cry out but then fall straight back to sleep. Before our no picking up campaign she would howl herself awake every time.

I look forward to an update tomorrow!

123upthere Tue 27-Jan-15 21:59:00

Nancydroop exactly it is that she was confused. Amazing. Tonight we had dinner again at 5pm bathtime 5.45 milk then into cot awake at 6.15 and grizzled (loudly my neighbours must love me this week) for 'just' 45 mins. No pickups just reassuring quiet voice from me while I stroked her head gently. Fully asleep since 7pm

It's now 10pm I heard her waken once for literally a few seconds then back to sleep. She also had a big walk in the pram this morning in the lovely countryside air with me so will see if that has made a difference and helped her nighttime sleep also

NancyDroop Tue 27-Jan-15 22:57:30

123upthere that sounds quite positive?! I hope you have a continued restful night and that your LO continues to self settle. Interested in your progress tomorrow!

NancyDroop Wed 28-Jan-15 23:29:55

How are you getting on 123? Any improvements? I've crossed my fingers for you!

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