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When's the best time to start self soothing

(7 Posts)
flipflopsonfifthavenue Sun 11-Jan-15 18:12:29

So I know every baby is different etc but...
DS2 is 9 weeks and I currently bfeed him to sleep at bedtime. He's only just started doing this, until now I'd rock him to sleep. He'll nap during the day in the sling/car/buggy if we're out and about, and in his crib at home if I can bfeed him to sleep and transfer him without waking him which is becoming increasingly hard, and I can only do anyway the days DP is around or DS1 is at nursery.

I bfed DS1 to sleep naps and bedtime til he was 13mo when I night-weaned and started some gentle sleep training putting him down awake at bedtime.

I always said that I wouldn't do this again with DC2 and would want them to be able to self settle well before 13mo.

So, when's a good time to start? When can babies really start to do this? And can anyone recommend gentle ways to do this? Stuff on line seems to suggest as early as 3mo you can start putting them dons awake etc but that seems very young to me.

TarkaTheOtter Sun 11-Jan-15 18:19:27

I think some babies will let you put them down awake and then drift off from birth.
But I think for most babies it's 4 months where it's really self-settling. IMO that's what the 4 month sleep regression is about. I still personally wouldn't sleep train at that age but I think before that it's pointless.

I was sort of the opposite of you in that I was obsessed with correct sleep habits with dd and she was a crappy sleeper til 2.5. Even cc would only "stick" for a week or so. I was much more relaxed with DS (coslept, fed to sleep, rocked, naps in pushchair) and he's a much better sleeper. So I'm not sure it makes much difference tbh.

AntiHop Sun 11-Jan-15 18:25:42

I'm in a similar situation. My dd is 4 months. Unless she's in the sling or the pram, she always starts her naps and her bedtime by falling asleep on the boob. I don't know how I'm supposed to stop her falling asleep during a feed when she's tired.

Fleeceblankets Sun 11-Jan-15 18:26:17

^ exactly.

I had some success with self settling at 4-5 months for a bf Velcro baby. Used the retreat method of moving gradually away from them. It all went well until 8-9 months when DS became mobile, and self settling flew out of the window. We would put him in the cot and he'd pop up and start laughing (this went on for weeks). At age 10 months to 13 months he also started to get lots of colds and teeth and it was impossible to sleep train. I think there is a window of opportunity between 5 months or so, until they become mobile.

Fleeceblankets Sun 11-Jan-15 18:27:28

Ah with 'exactly' I was referring to tarka's post, sorry.

flipflopsonfifthavenue Sun 11-Jan-15 18:28:10

You're right - I guess what I was thinking at the time with DS1 was I should have done things differently with HIM and so thought I'd just 'correct' myself with second child. But the second child will be very different and seems to be already, so I think I just need to do what I've always done and take the path of least resistance!

EssexGirlLottie Tue 13-Jan-15 19:56:23

We have just started to try and get our 5mo DS to go to sleep on his own, rather than holding and rocking. Already I'm seeing good results if I manage to put him down for a nap when he's only just tired (watching for signs like yawning, eye rubbing etc). He will now go to sleep after about 15 mins and that was only after trying it once or twice. If he's overtired, then there's no chance! However, we're using props (white noise and dummy). My hope is to gradually wean him off these too.

I can't comment on when to start but I guess my reason for posting was to say that for us, the main difference on it working, is to catch him early. Hth

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