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5 month old up for hours at night - what to do?

(15 Posts)
teacupnic Tue 06-Jan-15 22:59:54

I'm almost at my wits end with my 23 week old DS. I am sure that I'm doing something wrong and messing up so badly, but not sure what it is.

For the last couple of weeks, he's been waking up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep. I will feed him, rock him a little and put him in the cot asleep. Once in the cot he will wake up, thrash his legs around and often scream. Sometimes he will do this as we hold him, too, to try and comfort him.

This can go on for 2-3 hours and it's pretty distressing. It's making me unable to be as enthusiastic a parent as I'd like in the day, and my husband tired at work.

We have a good bedtime routine, and he will fall asleep after feeding or after cuddles with me or DS. Often he'll wake pretty soon after, but can be soothed with shushing and patting in the cot.

Any ideas at to what on earth is going on and how I can fix it?

nyldn Tue 06-Jan-15 23:05:50

so much sympathy. we're going through the same with DS, 21 weeks.
today we've started the 2-3-4 method and, for day one, it seems to be going well so far.

obviously it could all go to pot any minute, but he's been in the crib since 6:30 with two very brief resettles.

people tell me it's the 4 month regression and possibly teething as well.

beckiebee04 Tue 06-Jan-15 23:40:39

Is he not teething? It starting to? My little one was in a brill routine until teething started n she was up n down like a yoyo... Now she's back into routine... When your not well all we want is a cuddle... Same for babies

LucyB1 Wed 07-Jan-15 01:55:33

I'm having the same. Something's got to change cause I can't cope with this!! What's the 2 3 4 method?

Alikcharles Wed 07-Jan-15 04:16:31

I'm also sitting here now struggling with my 24 week old son. Every time I either feed or comfort him then lay him back down, world war three breaks out! I'm finding him very clingy at the moment. Is this usual for now and yes, what is the 2 3 4 method? I'll try anything!! He already has two teeth but I'd say isn't teething right now, but hard to tell.

googietheegg Wed 07-Jan-15 06:24:49

If he's teething he might need calpol? We used to hold dd until she fell asleep rather than put her in the cot awake too.

nyldn Wed 07-Jan-15 06:37:31

It's a sleep schedule - morning nap 2 hr after waking, afternoon nap 3 hr after waking from morning nap and then bedtime 4 hours after waking from afternoon nap.

we tried for the first time yesterday. he still had to be resettled a few times at around 7:30 when he went down at 6:30 and he was up for an hour at his midnight feed, but he napped longer and in his crib during the day.

going to continue for a full week and see if it sorts out his night and nap issues a bit.

LucyB1 Wed 07-Jan-15 08:32:48

I don't understand these daytime routines? How do you get out and about to baby groups etc? I can imagine just being suck indoors the whole time.

Cupcakes123 Wed 07-Jan-15 08:39:58

Exactly the same here, DS is 5 months next week.
Was sleeping 6.30-4, bottle, then back to sleep til 7.30. Perfecto. Was all smug and pleased with my sleeping baby.
That did not last!! the past 3 weeks has been waking up so much more, every 3 hours or so and then NYE he was poorly and every night since then he's woken up every hour confused

Takes ageeeeeees to settle him again, doesn't want the bottle or dummy he just wants to be awake or in our bed. Just anywhere other than his cot. He's better now so I can't even blame that.

I really hope this phase doesn't last long, it's like having a newborn again (but with no enthusiastic offers of help from friends and family!!)

teacupnic Wed 07-Jan-15 20:26:31

Sorry to hear other people are having troublesome 5 month olds too! And you're right Cupcakes, it's like having a newborn again.

I don't think it is teething, he got his first tooth a few weeks ago and the second isn't showing any signs of appearing. I am starting to wonder whether there isn't anything in particular - potentially a growth spurt or similar.

We had a goodish night last night - he was up at 10 and again at 2 for a feed. The first time he was straight back to sleep and the second time we were up for an hour. But, no screaming, just very wakeful.

Had a quick look at the routine nyldn mentioned and I'm not sure whether it would work for us, but does seem to make sense. My son is a poor napper most of the time (naps went to pot at the same time as night time sleep!) and overtiredness is possibly an issue, but we endure so much screaming putting him down for a nap it becomes distressing for both of us.

Will keep plodding on and hope for a similar night tonight!

TheLondoner22 Wed 07-Jan-15 20:58:43

234 routine all the way!

Daytime sleeps will have huge effect on nighttime sleep

Have a look on this website too www.troublesometots.com for age appropriate methods

Hang in there .... you're not getting it wrong, they do like to mess with you!! confused

teacupnic Sun 11-Jan-15 20:28:51

Seems like things are getting worse rather than better for us. Last night DS was up from midnight until 5am, slept for maybe an hour during that time. This can't be normal and I am just at a loss as to what is wrong. In case it's teething, we've given baby ibuprofen and used some teething gel tonight.

I think we may be in for a similar evening, as we've put him down at 7pm and in an hour and a half he's slept 10 minutes. I feel like he must have to sleep some time but no, no sign of sleep. Just a lot of high pitched fitful screaming.

DH suggested bringing him downstairs to just get him out of the screaming and it immediately stopped. After a few minutes of singing and baby yoga he was the happiest baby in the world again. (I understand that breaking a routine and allowing him out of the cot might not be the best idea but we are blinking well desparate!)

Sorry for blurting it out here but I'm in floods of tears and completely exhausted. I'm just worried that the only option is cry it out and I know how damaging that can be. The troublesome tots website one poster recommended reckons that if by my baby's age, he hasn't learned to self settle he will never sleep through and that cry it out will be the only option.

nyldn Sun 11-Jan-15 21:48:05

tea- do try 2-3-4 if you can. we're on night 6 of it and yesterday it seemed to turn a corner and there's no coi involved. he seems to be learning to self settle as well. btw, we do still swaddle as he is a fussy one who scratches the shit out of his head when worked up. last night he slept from 7-7 with 2 feeds and 2 very brief resettles. tonight he went down at 7 and i had to settle him once (knock on wood). try it for a week - you might feel encouraged by the results! I'm so sorry for your rough nights

might be nothing, but when ours wakes up, eyes go straight to the power light on the monitor. we covered it with a band aid yesterday and had our first good night in weeks.

teacupnic Sun 11-Jan-15 22:03:41

I'm giving 234 another read, nyldn, on a different website and I can totally see how it could work. Here's hoping it continues for you! I am unsure exactly how it would work in practice for us, as I worry it would mean I'd never get to go out and also my DH wouldn't get to see baby at all, as he'd be going to sleep before he got home.

I think there are a few things going on for my DS, I believe that he had a bit of a disruption in routine a couple of weeks ago - teething, then bronchiolitis, then Christmas not at home. I remember being a bit more lenient in picking him up when he was unwell and don't know whether we've got him used to this.

DH and I have decided that we don't pick him up, but settle him in the cot only, no matter how long it takes. This might work alongside 234 perhaps. Might be worth a try.

nyldn Sun 11-Jan-15 22:38:44

I agree, DS not seeing DH during the week is a down side. he will try to get home for bedtime routine, but it certainly won't be every night.

I do, however, feel that I actually can get out more with him as there are longer wakeful periods and I'm not trying to constantly get him down for a nap every 1.5 hours after a tiny 30 min nap. I'm only focusing on one of the 2 naps being in the crib. preferably the morning one, because if it goes badly I know i can walk him in the pram for the afternoon nap and count on that more.

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