tell me honestly how your 2.5 year old sleeps now / since birth please?

[inconceivableme]

Mine's a nightmare sleeper and has been since birth. DH and I are both broken through never getting a full night of sleep.

We've intentionally never left DS to cry as I couldn't feel comfortable with it but am seriously considering doing so soon.

My friend is a fully signed up attachment parenting advocate and tells me that DS is totally normal for his age and that the mums I know with kids of the same age who sleep. through the night most nights and self-settle to sleep are lying..... (?!)

I totally understand that younger babies wake frequently but surely by 2.5 years old they should sleep more consistently? He doesn't stop all day so must be tired.

Her coping strategies she recommends to us are to let him sleep in our bed, to nap when he does and to accept that he is normal and may not sleep through for another couple of years (!) She's a SAHM of 3 who home educates too btw.

He has to have one of us with him until he falls asleep. This can be around an hour each time, in addition to the rest of the bedtime routine. He wakes at least a couple of times at night, usually more, and we have to go to him and stay with him for as long as it takes or he screams and comes into our room.

DH is all out of patience and I'm almost there too. We've set up a travel cot in our room but even if we move him in there when he wakes, he cries and asks to be cuddled.

Help! Is my friend right?! Are toddlers who sleep well just fiction and lies?!

[MistAndAWeepingRain]

It depends on the child I think. My first DD didn't sleep through until 12 months old but from then on would consistently sleep 12 hours a night straight through in her own bed.

DC2 has always been a rubbish sleeper. Up multiple times a night until age of 2. He turned 3 in September and is still up at least once a night usually. Sleeps through sometimes but it's a rare occurrence.

[Bigbadgeorge]

My toddler does sleep most nights ok these days (18 months) but I think it depends on the child. I have a friend who is a brilliant mum who has tried everything to improve her dc sleep to no avail. lack of sleep sucks though so you have my sympathy!

[ReeseWithoutHerSpoon]

DD is 2 yrs 2 months. Can take anything from 20 mins to an hour and a half to fall asleep. Sometimes in her bed, sometimes in ours, but either way we stay with her until she's asleep. Then she generally wakes once somewhere between mind night and 6am and shout 'Mommaaaaaa' until I take her to sleep with me in the spare bed. She'll then sleep til anywhere between 7am and 8:30am. She probably would settle in her own bed wen she wakes in the night but I like my sleep too much and I know that by taking her into the spare bed she'll go back to sleep quickly.

[trilbydoll]

DD is only 19mo and usually wakes up once a night so we have to replace dummy and soft toy etc. But she has slept through maybe 12 times in the last 4 months? So I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a 2.5yo to do it.

She was rubbish as a tiny baby and was waking 2-3 times when she was 12mo. So there has been a steady improvement, with blips along the way as you'd expect!

Our current mission is getting her to fall asleep on her own, so that when she stirs in the night she isn't expecting us to still be sat there. We had made it to the other side of the room but it has all gone wrong recently and we are back sat on her bed. Need to start again!

[Poppins27]

My Dd is slightly older as will be 3 in March but she's settled herself each night and has done since having her last bottle at approx 15 months. Can take her a while if she's feeling mischievous but usually out after 20 mins. Tends to sleep from approx 8pm to 7am (easier with dark nights/mornings!!). Usually wakes once a night shouting for something ie dummy/wee but goes back off when tended to.

Sounds good...but next step is dummy fairy time

[Paddingtonthebear]

Mine (2.3yrs) self settles for approx 1-2 hour daily nap and evening sleeps overnight 7pm-6.30/7am, only really wakes up in the night when coughing or teething. Most people's little kids I know do sleep through. Sorry!

[LittleBearPad]

My 2.5 yr old has slept through from about four months and barring teething when younger or illness she sleeps from 8.30 until about 7.30 reliably. Sorry.

[purpleapple1234]

Our dd is exactly the same as yours. Exactly! DH is pretty peed off with it as well. She wakes up 1-3 times a night. Dh works nights and work long days so I actually like cuddling dd back to sleep. Rod for my own back and all that. I personally take the easy way out and let her fall asleep with me or in front of the telly. Funnily enough she goes to sleep by herself when we have a babysitter. We will probably just carry on like this until she does sleep through the night. It is easier than sleep training.

[Ihateparties]

Current 2y10m old, historically an excellent sleeper as a baby (1-2 bf a night from a week old), into own room at 9m and slept through spontaneously. Went massively downhill once in roomshare with siblings during major building work but now wakes once over the whole night probably about twice a week but that's tailing off now really. We haven't done any sleep training at any point with her. Still in a situation where if she gets woken or wakes from a dream she will be up and awake for a couple of hours rather than going straight back down.

For reference ds started sleeping through reliably from 18m but we did sleep train him, largely because after 18m of holding,trying to share a bed with, a screaming, seemingly impossible to comfort child it felt like a different approach was needed. Looking back he is a child who needs personal time and space away from other people so I guess that makes sense.

Dd1 I night weaned after bf-ing her 5 times on the hour, ever hour after she went to sleep the night before I went back to work. Which did involve her crying due to not being fed but whilst being held by someone, one night and she got the idea. She became a reliable sleeper at 3.5, we discovered over time that whatever we did the result with her was the same. If she did wake at night she was up for 2.5hrs and literally nothing changed that pattern.

Sorry, that was longer than I intended but I guess purely from my own experience I'm with the it depends on the child people. I would naturally have co slept but I can count on the fingers of one hand the amount of times a baby of mine beyond the ages of 6weeks has fallen asleep and slept in a bed with me in it. Ho hum. It'll sound silly but I was far more tired with one young child when I was in a place of waiting to be able to sleep again like I used to, that kind of thing, than I am now with 3 and in possession of a totally different set of expectations.

Hope you're getting more sleep soon

[IAmAPaleontologist]

i had 1 who slept like a log from a few months old until he started having night terrors around 2. He is 8 and wakes most nights with hypermobility related pain.

Then i had one who was a nightmare and screamed and screamed and screamed and resisted sleep even when co sleeping. She woke 10 times a night or more and was still doing so age 2. Thankfully when i stopped bf she stopped screaming like a stuck pig until she got a boob in her mouth and instead accepted a pat on the back. She started sleeping better around 3 and consistently through the night around 4. She is now my best sleeper age 6 and these holidays has been sleeping 7.30 til 8.30.

number 3 is 2.10 and has recently, just these past 3 weeks or so, started going to bed at bed time awake. Until a couple of months before that he was staying up until 10pm, feeding to sleep or cuddling on the sofa plus waking several times a night and asking for dh to share his bed . Then we cut out a daytime nap and he started going to sleep at bed time but only downstairs with us. Then magically, when he was ready, he started going to bed awake. He doesn't wake as much at night either.

All parented the same way, bf on demand, co sleeping until ready to transition but all have been completely different. Not sleeping at age 2 is normal. But if it isn't working for you then there are gentle ways to help.

[loudarts]

My first 5 have all slept through/ self settled from 18 months at the latest dc6 is almost 13 months and is starting to, but I have a friend who still has to settle her 4 year old. I think it depends on the child

[MildDrPepperAddiction]

Dd1 is 2.4 and has slept through from 3 mths as did DS. Dd2 is 6 mths and is the complete opposite.

It definitely depends on the child though I would hope by that age a child would be sleeping.

[BalloonSlayer]

All my DCs were < whisper > Gina Ford-ed.

At 2.5:

DS1 slept through and self-settled and was still in a cot
DD slept through and self-settled and was possibly still in a cot, can't really remember
DS2 . . . was still breastfed to sleep, if he woke in the night I would have to get into bed with him until he went back to sleep again. He was in a bed from about 18 months because when he woke in a cot and I tried to leave him to self-settle he would panic, become distraught and climb out, crashing on to the floor. . When he finally gave BF up at 3½ still had to get in bed with him while he went to sleep. This lasted until he was over 7.

< shrugs >

[reallystuckonthisone]

DD 22months. Has always settled well and slept through from about 9 weeks (I remember cos it was just after imms). When we had an occasional blip we did CC and she responded very well to that.
She will happily go to bed, even ask to do so if tired and sleeps 7pm - 7am, sometimes longer plus a 2 hour lunchtime nap. We are sticklers for bedtime routine and it has served us very well.
Just as well too: we both work and napping when she does just wouldn't be an option for us.

[lightgreenglass]

DS used to wake up twice a night and take hours to put to bed - we coslept from pretty much birth. After a while it got too much and at 11 months we did controlled crying within 2 weeks he was sleeping 7.30-6.30. Over Christmas it went to pot as we were away from home and all over the place, now back home and back to normal (16 months) thank god as the lack of sleep was crippling me.

Most people I know who have 2.5 year old are sleeping through with/without sleep training. I know a couple who aren't but like pp said it depends on the child.

[Ohnodisaster]

Mine was an average - good newborn-cluster fed all evening then slept good chunks at night just waking for a couple of feeds.

Got pretty bad around 10 months and was waking several times for feeds. That improved when I stopped breast feeding at a year.

Then we had a fairly good run where he would often sleep though all night and settling himself off to sleep in the evenings.

Until he hit 2 and started climbing out of his cot / getting out of bed and we had to start staying with him until he fell asleep.

Then at 2.4 we had the bright idea of taking his dummy away and since then (5 months) he has needed someone to sit with him to fall asleep and has come into our bed on the vast majority of nights!

Dd (now 5.5) was a complete nightmare and we were forever trying different things. This time last year we had a big push with gradual withdrawal (very gradual-took 2 weeks) and since then she has slept like a dream. Sometimes you just have to wait til they're ready.

[KittyandTeal]

I've done all the attachment parenting stuff; cosleeping, sling wearing, not letting dd cry to sleep, breastfeeding till 18 when she self weaned etc.

Dd is now 2.3yo. She is just about in her own room and has generally been sleeping through for a couple of months. Saying that we're moving this week and she obviously knows something big is happening so between that and a cough she's been up a couple of times a night.

I spent half of last night on her bedroom floor!

I have no advice but I'm sure it will happen soon. I explain that we all need our sleep to be cheerful etc. she also has a gro clock which she loves and has worked a treat. She's so pleased with herself when she totters into our bedroom and declares she's stayed in bed till the 'suns come upped'

[Artandco]

Sorry, mine both slept through from 8-10 weeks. And at 2.5 just get read a story, kiss, lights out.

They have always shared our room though. Either co sleeping or in own bed next to ours.

[DoItTooJulia]

I'm going to post first, and read the thread afterwards.

Ds is 2y2m. He has always been a rubbish sleeper. I breastfed until he was 10 months old. I stopped breastfeeding because I needed some sleep and he was feeding every couple of hours through the night.

Now he's turned two, he's in a toddler bed in our bedroom.

He goes to bed at 6:30, because he is dropping his lunchtime nap. He wakes up at least once or twice before we come to bed. He then only sleeps through once he is in our bed with us.

I hate it. My first son slept through from 12 freakin weeks. He took ages to get off to sleep (an hour plus!) but once he got off to sleep, he slept.

Sigh.

[randomAXEofkindness]

I agree with your friend and I think she has given you good advice. My 2.5 year old is cuddled/rocked to sleep by his dad, sleeps with me, wakes 1-2 times and is nursed back to sleep.

If I go to bed late, he wakes up every hour or so - he can tell I'm not there.

We've done this with all 3. I haven't had a full nights sleep for 6.5 years and I'm absolutely fine. Put him in your bed!

[Iggi999]

Mine will sleep in his own bed/room until at some point in the middle of the night he invariably comes through to our bed to bf and sleep. His older sibling was sleeping through by this stage.

[byhec]

My ds is 2.5 and wakes at least one a night and usually more. My dd is now 5 and was reliably sleeping through by this age. Amongst my friends my ds is the worst sleeper :-(

[inconceivableme]

Seems we just got unlucky on the sleep front then, although there are enough people saying theirs sleep through for me to think that not all my friends can be lying!

[findingherfeet]

My DD is now 3...she was a fairly average night waker as a bf baby with periods of good sleep and teething especially being awful but would be easy to settle back in cot and wasnt a keen co-sleeper unless ill.

But from 11 months she slept through between 11 and 14 hours a night, she was still heavily dependent on her dummies at 2 1/2 but she napped for hours and still slept like a dream all through, very easy to settle.

Now at 3 she's had a recent period of tantrums before bed, she's got a baby brother who wakes a lot and disturbs her sometimes, she got rid of dummy at 2.10 and dropped her long nap (sigh) at exactly 3...she's had a few nightmares since moving house but generally is very easy to put to bed and she stays put for at least 12 hours.

To make amends her brother appears to be the worlds worst and lightest sleeper....!

[SignoraStronza]

Sounds just like my DD2 at the moment. DD1 was exactly the same and gradually improved until, at about 4.5, she gradually stopped traipsing through to us in the middle of the night. To be honest, once it got to the stage where dh and I could spend an evening together in peace, we stopped worrying about what came after.

DD2 has, until this week, conked out on us and then been taken upstairs and put into the bottom bunk, while DD1 snores peacefully above her. We've only just started trying to get her to sleep in her bed (story and cuddles until she drifts off) this past week while dd1 is away, as she was getting too heavy to carry and also, didn't seem fair on her big sister to have to go to bed while she stayed up with us. Still wakes a couple of times in the evening and takes a while to cuddle back down though.

I'm not too bothered really, as once dd1 finally got it, she's gone to bed and slept really well ever since. Interestingly, dd1 (3.5 months) has (so far) done the self settling thing that I always believed was a myth and will stay asleep once popped in the crib if he ever does fall asleep on us. Never done cc, but if I'm busy with the other two and can't get to him in time I found he's shouted a few times and then just fallen asleep. The girls have always ramped up the screaming to fever pitch - there is no way any kind of 'sleep training' would have worked.

Only advice I can give is to just go with it and try not to worry. Easier said than done but then dh and I got together when dd1 was 2.5 and we must have found some time alone or just taken every opportunity.