2yo DSD not sleeping through

[Ginocchio]

I've posted this in Chat before, but we're still struggling....

DSD, who's 2 this month, never sleeps through the night. Before DW & I got together, their housing arrangements meant that DW would often cosleep with DSD to avoid disturbing the rest of the house. As a result, when she wakes, she simply won't settle herself.

Going to bed isn't a problem - she'll go down pretty quickly, although we have to stay with her until she sleeps (maybe 5-10mins). But she'll wake up very easily, and then needs resettling. Earlier in the night this is okay, because she's tired enough to go back off again (say, at 8/9pm), but by 1am she's had just enough sleep to sustain her & won't go back to sleep in her own bed.

Part of the problem is that from 21months she's been able to climb out of her cot very easily, so since then she's been in a toddler bed. This means that we can't just leave her to CIO, as she gets back up every time. We put her back in with minimum interaction, but this pushes her into a big tantrum which she can keep up for a couple of hours.

I've started taking her out for a walk - up to 2 miles - after tea, to try and tire her out. It's improved matters a little, but it hasn't been a complete solution.

She will sometimes nap during the day, but this isn't guaranteed, although DW will always try and get her to.

We're exhausted. Can anyone suggest any ideas for getting her to stay asleep?

[pookamoo]

My DD2 is 3.4 and still never slept through the night in her own bed.

The inability to settle herself is not necessarily as a "result" of co-sleeping. It's something that many many cultures do all the time, so not necessarily a start of bad habits - some little children just really need the company of their parent/sibling to get off to sleep. The big dark night is a scary place when you are 2.

Sorry, it's probably not what you want to hear, but some children just don't do it until they are much older. Then, it will get better.
Good luck!

[BlackbirdOnTheWire]

My DS has slept through the night for the past week, not waking till 5am. Until then, he woke at 1am and 4am without fail. Something to do with cortisol levels dropping? (Dunno, wasn't listening to the hospital consultant's full explanation, I couldn't keep my eyes and ears open!). Whatever, it's normal, bugger all to do with co-sleeping and everything to do with hormones. My DS will be 3 next month, so I am very much hoping that he's finally cracked it before I finally crack.

[Ginocchio]

pook yes, maybe I'm unfairly blaming co-sleeping. My two didn't co-sleep (they both slept through from an early age), so I suppose I'm seeing the different approach as being the reason.

Officer we're trying really hard with returning to bed - but after a couple of hours of screaming we usually end up going for an alternative approach (sleeping in her bed with her, or just pretending it's "morning" (she's got a gro-clock, so we set it to sun), and getting up). That's mainly because we're in a small terrace, and although our neighbours are good about it (they've started wearing earplugs at night), their patience will only stretch so far. Maybe we just need a clear run at it, & give the neighbours a peace offering in advance...

[pookamoo]

...or maybe go back to the co-sleeping til she's ready?
Just a thought.

What does your DW (her mother) think?

[Ginocchio]

pook the co-sleeping doesn't really work, because DSD won't sleep properly; she'll just fidget / want to play / read books etc.

DW is at breaking point, having not had proper sleep for nearly 2 years, but we're working together on finding a solution. We take it in turns, of course, but in a small house with a screaming child, everyone's awake...