Starting CC tomorrow- tips for success please...(13 Posts)
I've reached breaking point, so it's time for controlled crying. I feel apprehensive but also know it worked with my first two so hoping it'll work with terrible sleeper DD3 (almost 10 months). She only goes to sleep at night with endless feeding, holding, stroking, then wakes every 2-3 hours and has to be fed, even when in bed with me. Often she seems to sleep even worse when in bed with me. I'm exhausted and DH and I are having a horrible hard time as he is pretty much sleeping in DS's top bunk. We've got to do something before we all go mad. She is a happy lovely baby, eats and drinks plenty in the day. Does anyone have any tips for CC and how to try to ensure we get the most positive outcome possible? Thank you in advance...
Not much advice but will hand hold. Currently feeding Ds before starting cc night 1... Wish me luck
Meant to add, she's been in our room up til now, which is partly why it's been so hard, but from tomorrow can finally go in her own room. Not sure if this is going to help matters or make things more difficult...
We started with v small increments of time - leaving for one minute, two etc - built up to five. Made us feel better about doing it since the times weren't very long. And it worked.
My advice is stick with it or it will be worse for the babe (inconsistency will confuse them). Also once they learn to sleep they will be so much happier.
When they finally sleep - big glass of wine! And lots of hugs.
Thank you atrocious - small increments sounds good. And you're absolutely right about sticking with it- so important.
What helped me was not to think of it as doing this massive "controlled crying" thing - which it's made out to be on MN sometimes.
Ultimately, you're just not rushing into your baby when she wakes up. You're teaching her the important life lesson that night time is for sleeping. And that you need to sleep too. You are not doing anything revolutionary or dangerous!
How we did it (although DS was younger, around 6mo) was to leave him for 4 mins everytime he woke up, before going to him. We chose 4 cos 3 seemed too short and 5 seemed too long.
When we heard him stir we would time it in our phone, cos 4 mins does seem like a long time when they're crying. After 4 mins we would go in and soothe him by saying shh and laying a hand in his back but we did not pick him up. We rarely got him out of his cot in the night. That was one of our non negotiables - you stay in your bed at night! He would be soothed by our presence and then we would go out the room.
Some nights it didn't work and we ended up lying on the floor of his room until he went back to sleep.
Some nights after hours of him mucking around trying to play with my hands through the bars of the cot we just went back to bed and he screamed with rage for 10 minutes and then went back to sleep.
It wasn't always a smooth journey but I think the fundamental thing was adjusting our mindset - you don't HAVE to rush in as soon as your child whimpers or makes a sound. Wait and see what happens.
Sometimes he surprised us by waking up, screaming for 3 mins and then abruptly going back to sleep.
Doge self settled amazingly well at bedtime. We are doing a staggered approach. To start with we Arrington weaning him so DH allowed to settle him. Then after a couple of nights will progress to actual controlled crying.
He amazingly only woke once at 12 and took over an hour to settle. But then he did sleep until 5.30. Hopefully he will have a better day of eating because he won't be full of milk and he may sleep better tonight. (He's 13 months).
We did cc with dd1 at that age - she was also a terrible sleeper
still is aged 4
My tip is to have a script for when you go in so you can be totally consistent. And be consistent in how you 'sooth' her, we would cuddle but not lift up out of cot, then lie her back down. We also did 2, 3, 5, 10, 15 mins return.
It is hard to do but effective.
In the long run however, it's not a 'cure' for a child who naturally has light/easily disturbed sleep. Cc only worked for us until potty training, when 'I need a wee' became a get out of jail free card. But that should still give you about a year to recharge your batteries good luck
Not a tip for success but another question - what is it best to do when you do go in? Stay and soothe til they stop crying, or just go in, reassure them you're around, then go out again? Thinking of starting next week with my 18m DS.
I was told to interact as little as possible. My DS (9m/o) will always pull himself up to stand and will hold on to the edge of the cot and wail so when either myself it DH go in we will pick him up under his arms (but not bring him close up us, no cuddles or anything) tell him it's bedtime (firmly) and then lie him down on his back. We then leave the room regardless of whether he's still wailing or not - which he always is.
Another question here too- sorry! We are on night 3 cc with ds 11m. He has never slept a full night. When he was younger he wouldn't take more than a few ounces in a bottle during the day so woke to feed at night. But now he's well on solids, we need to do something! The last two nights he settled after 45 mins and 20 on night two. BUT he is wakening every hour after that and crying for up to ten minutes before he falls asleep again. So less sleep for all than before we started! Every cc story I read never mentions this! Please help- I haven't had a full nights sleep in nearly two years (dd only slept thru when ds was born). I'm back to work on Monday with a 90 min commute!
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