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17 month old co sleeping transition ðŸ˜29;

(20 Posts)
paris2891 Sat 27-Dec-14 16:53:54

Hi everyone - long story short my boy is in with us co sleeping, he's 17months and I'm nearly 8 months pregnant and can't take it anymore, I'm determined to change things tonight but I'm torn about what to do. He freaks when I put him in the cot and wants out screams, cries and throws up. The cot is in our spare room next to double bed, he has his own box room where the cot normally lives. Do I a) put him to bed in his cot in the spare room awake and lie on the bed next to him until he falls asleep-and do so each time he's up in the night. Or B) put cot back in his room and try controlled crying going in ever few minutes until he falls asleep and the same through the night? I hate the thought of him getting so upset that he's sick I just really don't know what else to do at the moment because the sleep deprivation is making me ill

sososotired Sat 27-Dec-14 19:38:47

I feel your pain, my DS is 16months and does the same thing, last nigh I put him in a single bed with a safety rail a big boy duvet and his very own pillow it worked a treat he woke twice in the night I went in gave him his dummy and stroked his face and he went back to sleep! And to put him to bed I just led next to him until he dosed off. I appreciate at 8months pregnant it may be uncomfortable to lie down with him but it's working for us!

paris2891 Sat 27-Dec-14 21:08:56

I decided to stay with him in the spare room where I'll sleep later and Omg so surprised ! Thought I'd be in there for hours ! -took 25 mins of me hanging over he side of the cot humming iggle piggle but he was so tired he started to nod off stood up hanging on to me and then let me lie him down. Lots of tears though which is horrible sad let's see how I get on with him waking up in the night! I'll be right next to him ready to pat and humm

Andcake Sat 27-Dec-14 21:21:53

We put ds at 17 months into a big bed wth rail- sat next to him to fall asleep. First few nights he work and I either got into bed with him or patted him back to bed. After a few days he slept through. We also got a very dark blackout blind.

sksk Mon 29-Dec-14 20:26:41

I was about to create a post- My DS is almost 17 months old. For various reasons, he has been sleeping in the spare room bed with DH. We removed the side form his cot the other day (it is a toddler bed) and rearranged the furniture in his room. I tried to involve him in his own way with fixing the bed sheets in his room. The last 2 months have been hard with his teething and colds. Controlled crying back in October worked in the sense that we got 2 good weeks before the teething/illness/clocks changing happened. It is not the arrangement either DH or I like, but we both work full time and I am also doing an MSc and not getting any work done-DS is very active and I can't do anything around him and am exhausted in the evenings. He is also very demanding at the moment.
Please don't judge for the only thing we are able to do to get some sleep, i.e. spare room with DH (DS does not want me when he wakes up, except in the morning for milk!) He won't lie in his bed and is physically quite strong; we have tried just repeatedly putting him back into his bed when he sits up but that has failed. Interestingly, once DH puts him to sleep int he spare room (a double bed), he will generally stay asleep.
I know what the HV will say but I need a do-able solution-I'd do gradually retreating, but that depends on DS actually lying down in his bed to begin with!
Any thoughts?

sososotired Wed 31-Dec-14 17:46:59

sksk for the last 4 nights my DS has been in his own room starting with a very gradual gradual retreat he is in a single bed with a rail so I lie with him will he's asleep and do that when he wakes in the night then will sit on the bed then next to him etc etc. DH and I take turns With lying with him we both also work full time DH stupid shifts and I'm also studying so I'm banking all my sanity that this will work!! But to be honest slowly it is working confused

sksk Wed 31-Dec-14 21:10:25

I just can't get him to even sit on his bed and if I lie him down he just gets up. He is very strong. I don't know what we are going to do. He has also been up past 9pm for 2 nights! I'd do gradual retreat but that would involve getting him into his own bed. Sigh. I am really being put off having more babies!

sososotired Thu 01-Jan-15 06:28:29

What about letting him sleep in your spare room with toddler rails on the bed? And try gradual retreat from there? Also how long does he nap in the day, I cut DS down from napping 2.5-3hours to 1.5h which means at 6:45 he is ready for bed and we get a little more sleep at night!! Your not alone I don't want any more kids due to this it's hard running a house having a full time job a husband baby and studies so your not alone in that! blush

sososotired Thu 01-Jan-15 06:32:26

Ps I also spend as much time as possible playing in his room and on his bed letting him get in and out playing peek a boo with his duvet! So that he associates his bed with being a happy place and not a lonely place ......

sksk Fri 02-Jan-15 08:28:27

I was thinking of buying him a duvet rather than just blankets but generally, everything we get for him fails (highchair, booster seat-he won't sit and eat at home, in fact, he hardly eats at home). I don't think he needs a toddler rail- for example, once DH has managed to get him to sleep, if he wakes up, he is able to safely get himself out of bed and onto the landing. My only problem is that the spare room has a double bed and if we ever did have a guest, I don't know what we would do! Maybe I'll get him a duvet set. We are also thinking of getting a small table and chair so he feel like it is not a restrictive place to eat. But who knows? Thanks. At lease it is not just us being unreasonable and stupid-HV sometimes have a way of making you feel that way.

sososotired Fri 02-Jan-15 09:18:02

I did that he has a duvet that feels just like mine on my bed, HV can sometimes be assholes my hv doesn't have any children so I just think she has no idea how it feels!
I would say don't worry about guests the most important thing is that you three sleep? Good luck with the table and chairs! My DS has taken to sitting on the sofa watching peppa pig while eating bad habit I know!

sksk Fri 02-Jan-15 13:50:40

Hey, I'm not going to judge- it is very hard but I am trying to be more positive now. Generally my HV have been quite good but you can't help but feel judged at times. We don't have people over often so I suppose guests don't matter (for the time being!).

letsplaynice Fri 02-Jan-15 14:09:17

The ToddlerCalm book would be a great read for everyone who has posted on here about sleep, eating & control.

sososotired Sat 03-Jan-15 17:40:57

I learnt something new last night sksk as you know I've been in the process of getting my DS to sleep in his room, he has yet another viral infection so his temp sky rocketed last night I gave him some meds and brought him into my bed where he wouldn't settle after an hour of trying I took him back to his own bed where he went to sleep within seconds, so I guess what I'm saying is it's starting to pay off.... How are you getting on?

sksk Sat 03-Jan-15 18:47:16

DS won't go to bed unless DH takes him and lies down with him. DH often falls asleep next to him! Then DH will come downstairs and we might watch some TV together and DS will wake up at some point and come onto the landing (we have a stair gate) and cry. DH will then take him back to bed and this is usually DH going to bed for the night. DS is teething constantly and is generally very difficult to manage and is getting more difficult as he is physically stronger. I struggle to change a nappy alone and dressing him is a total nightmare. Pretty much everything is a battle without me trying to make it so. So I guess we are not getting anywhere but I don't think DH wants to try anything else (I had to do the controlled crying thing; I finally did it when I was at the point of tears at a weigh in) I don't like the current situation but I don't honestly see how we can do any better now that I am too worn out and too depressed to want to do anything anymore.

sososotired Sat 03-Jan-15 19:05:34

Bless you! We struggle with strength too DS is much stronger than I thought! Well if it helps your not alone, I haven't slept in what feels like years! You are more than welcome to cyber vent if you need to!! Have you spoken to a hv/ Dr about yourself? Feeling worn out and depressed? flowers

sksk Sat 03-Jan-15 20:22:43

HV will only tell me to get DS to sleep on his own, which I want to do but can't see how, especially as he is teething, I can't really enforce things. And he has on/off olds a lot since he is at nursery. I am just so busy, I don't think I would have time for counselling right now and I would not want anti depressants. I saw a counsellor last year as I had a 4th degree tear with DS and struggles emotionally with that (and still do). Maybe once my MSc is finished, I'll try some CBT; I did start an online CBT course but I can't be bothered with it now. I sound so deflated! Thanks for the support, though. It really helps.

sososotired Sat 03-Jan-15 20:34:22

I've had to go on antidepressants because I could simply not cope anymore so I really understand how you feel, by the sounds of your degree you have a demanding job aswell!
Who knew little boys would change our lives so much wink

sksk Sat 03-Jan-15 20:41:47

I feel like tearing my hair out but DS sometimes literally does that for me! I'm focusing on the negatives; he really is a loving child. Yes it is all a bit much and DH has faith but I'd love some help like a cleaner so I don't have to think about cleaning and laundry (not that I do a lot of cleaning, house is very messy and that annoys me). I've said I won't have another child unless we get help; especially as I will have to have a CS next time. And that is a whole other area of concern!

sososotired Sat 03-Jan-15 22:26:57

I completely get that! I said unless we can afford for me not to work at all I'm not having more!

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