PU/PD Questions

[SharoneLev]

I am having a hard time implementing the PU/PD with my 4 month old son.
After doing the bedtime routine I put him in bed, usually starts crying in a few minutes.
Then I try doing the PU/PD but have problems:

1. Most of the time he doesn't calm down in my arms - what should I do? how long to let him be in my arms?
   
2. The moment I put him back in bed (even if he calmed down in my arms) he starts crying, so do I just pick him up the moment I put him down? Or do I try rocking him for a few moments while he yells his lungs out?
   

Today I tried this , let him stay in crib for 1 minute then pick up for 1 minute and so on, this went on for half hour with crying non stop (!) until I gave up and nursed him to soothe him down and then put him to sleep in the carrier (which took an hour, but at least without crying...)

I must note a couple of things- a. he does not take a pacifier whatsoever
b. after feeding in the middle of the night ( usually once a night) he is able to soothe himself to sleep

Your help is much appreciated

[Iggly]

I thought that method was no good for younger babies? I've tried it and didn't like it.

At 4 months they have a big growth spurt and developmental leap which screws with sleep so I wouldn't bother tbh!

[FATEdestiny]

I cannot imagine that a 4 month old has the ability to understand let alone rationalise what you are doing or why with this kind of thing.

Is it recommended for babies so young?

[FATEdestiny]

Pacifiers/dummies always take perseverance to be accepted by the baby. But they are a God Send when it comes to self-settling.

Do you get to 'milk drunk' phase when feeding? This is the easiest time to put a young baby down to sleep.

Have you tried a bouncy chair? Helps for hands-free baby settling.

[SharoneLev]

I read online that 4 months is the time to start
www.netmums.com/baby/sleep/pick-up-put-down-technique

[NeedaDiscoNap]

I found 'shush pat' was more effective with my DD at that age OP. I also think he might be a little bit young for pu/pd. I've read 6 months onwards as younger babies don't understand it/want to be soothed more.

[NeedaDiscoNap]

Also, I have learned the hard way that sleep experts etc. often say 'will work from...age' or discuss strategies like they're magic and they just haven't worked with my DD!

[Iggly]

He sounds fine though. He only feeds once a night? That's great!

My dd and ds got the hang of self settling themselves from about 5-6 months. Obviously there were blips with teething etc but I don't cuddle or rock them to sleep now they're 5&3. I know it is hard not to, but try not to worry too much. If he's crying then try again in a few weeks - I would feed and wind then rock until drowsy then put down. If they cried, I'd give it a minute to see what sort of cry - if escalating then rock to sleep. If a grumble then give it more time. I won't lie - drove me mad sometimes but being more chilled with the second DC made it easier. She was actually better as well, probably as a result.

[callamia]

He's so tiny, I'd leave pick-up/put-down - it seems to only infuriate and upset babies. Are you doing it only for bedtime? Does he feed to sleep, or when is his last feed before bed?

[SharoneLev]

Now I feel like the worst Mom ever for trying!! Hope he doesn't remember anything in the morning......
He eats usually 1-2 hours b4 sleeping.
I tried it for bedtime. during the day i use the carrier.

[SharoneLev]

shush/pat doesn't work at all. can't soothe his crying if i don't pick him up

[callamia]

Don't feel bad! We all try things and sometimes they work well, and other times they don't. There's no harm done.

Maybe it's ok to pick him up and comfort him to sleep? My son preferred to feed to sleep, so I'm afraid I'm no help at all! I just wanted to tell you to joy feel bad at all - you just need to work out what works for you!

[NeedaDiscoNap]

I did shush pat while cuddling my DD OP - then eventually she became more settled in her cot and could do it there. Now she drifts off herself. He's doing brilliantly if only waking for one feed a night! My DD is almost 7 months and she wakes twice most nights.

And you're not a terrible mum! I tried everything when my DD was at that stage or younger. Just go with what works for you and him. Bit of trial and error.

[SharoneLev]

thanks

what is OP?

[FATEdestiny]

OP = Opening Poster (you) or Opening Post (your initial post)

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

[NeedaDiscoNap]

Original poster

[Books1979]

Hiya, wld encourage you to keep trying a few times but don't stress if it takes a while. I did up/pd with my DS when 12 weeks old as I wanted to teach him how to fall asleep in cot rather than oly able in my arms ... First few times I tried he didn't get it but then he suddenly got it and learned very quickly. I liked the fact that I could always comfort him by picking himswaying didn't do strict up/pd but swayed my hips, whispering words etc to him, rocking sometimes, then phased that out once he got the hang of it.

However sounds like your LO usually needs to be nursed to sleep? If so that's a different habit to break before you do up/pd ... The Elizabeth Pantley book has a technique for gradually teaching them to sleep without nipple in mouth, so that may help?

A word of warning ... I did pu/pd at 12 wks as I hoped it might prevent us having to do 'proper' sleep training at a later date, but even though he can fall asleep in the cot we are still going to have to do something soon as he wants to start every day at 4 am, and then doesn't nap well in day, so we are all knackered! Sadly pu/pd not the cure for everything! But good luck and hope it works for you