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12-week-old boy doesn't sleep longer than 2 hours at night. help!

(40 Posts)
liduoduo Tue 23-Dec-14 01:12:42

Hi, my boy is 12-week-old, he doesn't sleep longer than 2 hours at night, every time he wakes up, I feed him. we are doing mix feeding, 90% breast, 10% bottle. I tried to figure out the possible root cause:

* hungry? I read a book called "the baby whisperer" by Tracy, I do top up and dream feeding (bottle is used for this feeding) at night, so I don't think he is hungry. every time I feed him at night, he takes one side, sometimes both side, but he refuses bottle at night except dream feeding.

* diaper? I change diaper every 6~8 hours, so only one change at night, doesn't seem like diaper bothers him

* too hot/warm? I lower the room temperature and only over him with blanket, doesn't help

* cry it out? sorry, I can't do it, I don't accept this method at all

* prop? I don't think at his age feeding is a prop, not until he is 5 months. am I right?

* illness? he used to have reflux symptoms, but much better now, we went to see 2 pediatricians, both of them don't think he has reflux as he double his birth weight.

I am doing co-sleep, on the same bed, but not the same blanket. no improvement in night sleep either. when I say no longer than 2 hours, actually most of the time is only 1.5 hours, 2 days ago, every 1 hour and 20 mins. and in the early morning, 5:00~7:00, in the worse case, he would wake up every 20~ 30mins, and then sleeps for an hour. for his naps? most of them are half hours, but sometimes can be 2 hours, even longer than his night sleep!

does any mom have the similar experience? how do u resolve the problem?


ANewMe2015 Tue 23-Dec-14 01:26:39

my first did this until a year - we ended up cosleeping pretty much so i could feed through it. It later turns out both mine had a TT and no 2 managed a bit better after the snip.

I think the only advice I have is to do what you can to get through it and survive - easy meals, take any help offered, nap in the day etc.

SellMySoulForSomeSleep Tue 23-Dec-14 01:33:53

Sounds normal to me. It wasn't until about 5 months mine reliably slept for longer than 3 hours. Sorry I know that's not what you want to hear. Just go with it. I found not looking at the time helped. It just makes it seem worse!

buttercupbear Tue 23-Dec-14 07:28:03

The root cause is: he's a baby. wink

Alwaysinahurrynow Tue 23-Dec-14 07:43:05

Little ones are so difficult. My first was like yours, my second seems to be completely different.

My only advice would be to try and feed him as much as possible at each daytime feed to try and avoid snacking and to try and resettle each time he wakes in the night rather than automatically feeding (I had no idea about this and had always presumed that if they woke they needed feeding, but turned out sometimes they didn't).

eurochick Tue 23-Dec-14 07:48:15

At that age my baby was feeding every three hours and so only sleeping for two hours or so between feeds, so it sounds normal to me. It will pass.

BlackbirdOnTheWire Tue 23-Dec-14 07:48:19

Um, normal?

Mine both woke every 2hrs till past 6m, as did all my nieces/nephews. Then it started to stretch out a bit.

BikeRunSki Tue 23-Dec-14 07:50:40

Normal for 12 weeks. You just have to go with it.

firsttimemumma2014 Tue 23-Dec-14 07:55:11

Are you absolutely sure he is hungry when you feed him in the night? Have you tried patting and trying to settle him without feeding?

Also is it possible that co-sleeping is disturbing him, i.e you or your partner moving/ snoring? A friend of mine was co-sleeping and her baby was waking similarly to yours. As soon as she moved him into his own cot, he started going 4-5 hours before waking for a feed.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 23-Dec-14 07:55:58

Nappy changes every 6-8 hours sounds infrequent. I use the toilet more often than that. Whilst my baby was happy with a dirty/wet nappy when he was little, that stopped by 12w and he is uncomfortable.

We tried "shhh pat" with some success.

MigGril Tue 23-Dec-14 07:59:33

I would get things like tounge tie and silent reflux ruled out, does he wake screaming can he sleep happy on his back.
But as others have said it can also just be normal baby behavior at . thisage. And really someone should tell new parents this and stop expecting babies to sleep long stretches at night.
They are tiny, never in our past would we have slept separately from such a small infant. The only differences odd we would have had much better extend family support. Do what you need to maximize your sleep.

PotteringAlong Tue 23-Dec-14 08:02:19

Completely normal smile

piggychops Tue 23-Dec-14 08:16:18

It sounds pretty normal. Just make sure you have a good bedtime routine and he'll soon get the hang of night and day.
I changed mine every time they were wet or had pood.

pinkr Tue 23-Dec-14 09:20:53

Normal. Mine didn't really change till eight months and only stayed sleeping significantly better at 14 months. It sucks

Heatherbell1978 Tue 23-Dec-14 10:41:01

Sounds normal. Have you tried a dummy? My 17 wk old uses one to settle to sleep and has always been a pretty good sleeper. He'll go 7pm to around 3.30am with an 11pm dream feed but sometimes wakes before and we just put the dummy back in. They're not for everyone but definitely help as lots of babies need to suck to sleep.

liduoduo Tue 23-Dec-14 17:54:13

everyone says it's normal, what about I say he doesn't sleep longer than an hour? is it still normal? it happened last night, and every once a while, it repeats again.

EVERY ONE HOUR!!!!and in the early morning 5:40~9:00, every half hour, I think he is tired too, that's why he got up at 9:00.

and most of the time, no longer than 1.5 hours. I am really tired, and when I talk to friends around, they all say their babies can sleep at least up to 3~4 hours, why am I so "lucky"?

I let him sleep on his own bed at the beginning, and since he wakes up so often, I have to cosleep so I can sleep a little bit more.

but maybe you guys are right, I shouldn't feed him every time he wakes up, I should try shush pat 1st. most of the time he wakes up and cry, I was able to extend his sleep by shush pat once, only ONCE.

maybe all I can do is suck it up? I wish someone can predict when is the end day.

ANewMe2015 Tue 23-Dec-14 17:56:04

I'd feed him each time until you get used to him feeding himself so he doesnt wake you up!

It really won't be forever. Just work out what can help you get through the day.

liduoduo Tue 23-Dec-14 17:56:50

about using dummy, I never did it before, can anyone show me how to in more detail? thx.
I prefer not to put him down on his back as on his side is more easier for him to sleep and settle. He did have reflux symptoms, but I don't think he has it now.
thank u for all replies and recommendations, appreciate it.

buttercupbear Tue 23-Dec-14 19:10:07

Just feed him when he wants it, he's tiny and doesn't know what the f is going on

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 23-Dec-14 19:36:37

There's nothing complicated about using a dummy, you just put it in their mouth. I sterilise mine. My baby used to instantly spit his out so it has to be gently held there until he got the hang of it. Some babies have a preference for particular brands/shapes. They have an age range on them.

Geneticsbunny Tue 23-Dec-14 19:43:33

I Honestly lol at 9.00 being described as early in the morning! All of my babies think that any time from 6.00 is the morning! Hang in there. He will sleep longer eventually. Waking every hour sounds pretty normal to me. I coped my cosleeping a bit when mine were waking up loads and just going to bed when they did. Make sure if you cosleep that you do it safely though. I had mine in a sleepin bag above y covers so he doesn't get too hot and I stopped drinking when they were little pretty much completely.

FATEdestiny Tue 23-Dec-14 19:51:23

I'm not sure why there are so many posts saying this is "normal" on this thread.

It is certainly not unusual to have sleep issues at this age, especially if he is your first born. But it is equally usual to have better sleeping babies.

My DD is 12 weeks - born end of September. She is breastfed. She has been sleeping from her 11pm dreamfeed to 7am from about 8 weeks old. Last night she did 9.30pm to 7.30am. She feeds 2 hourly (at least) through the day though.

Have a look at the anti-natal threads for September and October for some support from Mums with babies a similar age.

Using a dummy (or a pacifier as they call it in some countries) is a good way to help baby settle. He can suck on the dummy instead of your breast to help him get to sleep. If your baby is getting enough milk during the day then you should be able to shush/pat and put dummy in to get her back to sleep.

You do not have to feed baby every time they wake up in the night. Only if he is hungry.

odoneel Tue 23-Dec-14 19:55:01

Mine woke up every 40 minutes for the first two years. Cause of this was silent reflux .

buttercupbear Tue 23-Dec-14 20:21:28

From my and my friends experiences don't agree that it's anything but pretty normal to be in ops situation, anything more I would see as a bonus.

My dd would only take a "cherry" dummy at first, the rounded teat ones, may be worth a try.

With a baby so young they will sort themselves out usually, we didn't really have a bedtime routine other than dim lights, baby massage and soft music, then into sleeping bag.

pinkr Tue 23-Dec-14 22:22:09

Yeah. Every 45 mins all night long. That lasted a good few months. I was on the verge of a breakdown. She gradually slept longer stretches but not consistently till 13 months. Until she was seven months she never slept longer than three hours andi could count the times she did that on one hand.horrendous
It's made us seriously reconsider number two.

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