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Cosleeping - unlikely to sleep alone in the evenings?

(12 Posts)
blushingmare Fri 19-Dec-14 21:28:44

I've been cosleeping with DS (7mo) from fairly early on. I always used to be able to put him down in the evenings in his sidecar cot and then just bring him into bed when he first woke (normally around 10:30, so when I was going to bed anyway). But in the last month he's been really unsettled in the evenings and I can't get him to stay asleep.

Is this an inevitable consequence of cosleeping? I guess he's waking up and thinking "where is she?!" Or do some people cosleep but still have an evening to themselves?

MetroMonkey Fri 19-Dec-14 21:37:37

I co-slept with my daughter from around 3 months as she wouldn't sleep more than about 2 hours if she wasn't being held by me or next to me. shock

I was very safety conscious and so had a mattress on the floor with a continuous barrier all the way around, no duvet for me - just a sleeping bag so it wouldn't end up on her etc. I quite quickly got into the routine of putting her down, waiting around 20 minutes or so for her to doze off and then sneaking off to enjoy my evening alone until going to bed around ten next to her.

When she was a bit better at sleeping I would settle her and leave her sleeping alone and would go to bed next to my partner in our normal bed until the first time she would cry out for a feed - around 1am and then I'd go in and stay with her. It meant less disruption to my normal life as I still had an evening to myself and still got to go to sleep next to my partner. I also had an almost uninterrupted night apart from walking from my room to hers.

Singleandproud Fri 19-Dec-14 21:41:00

It doesn't last forever but it used to drive me mad, I used to just go to bed early and watch tv in bed., although as a single parent with only 1 child this probably isn't an option for most peopl.
Also at 6 months babies have only just started realizing that you are no longer attached and separation anxiety is very common at this age. Also teething and physical changes like sitting up mean that thee are more occasions of night waking.

blushingmare Fri 19-Dec-14 21:48:11

Thanks MetroMonkey. So your DD would sleep on her own in the evenings - that sounds pretty good. I settle him down on his own at about 7pm and leave him, but he wakes up around 8:30. I'll go and settle him, but he's waking up several times throughout the evening from that point onwards until I come to bed and bring him in, when then he'll sleep for 4-5 hour stretches.

It's a bugger because the cosleeping works great for us all getting an ok amount of sleep with a baby who isn't a great sleeper. But if the cosleeping is causing him to have such trouble staying asleep in the evenings, then it's not wonderful - I'm getting pretty sick of being up and down the stairs and siting in a darkened room all evening tbh!

blushingmare Fri 19-Dec-14 21:56:21

Single - yes, I think you're right - the separation anxiety has definitely kicked in! I just really need my evenings to catch up on all the stuff I don't get done during the day with two little ones hanging around!

blackgoat Fri 19-Dec-14 22:04:36

My DS is 10 months, we cosleep and he's breastfed. Currently, he goes down at about 8pm, feeds at about 10pm, and then several times through the night.
At 7 months he was up every half an hour/hour from 8pm..sometimes I just took him through to living room as feeding wouldn't settle him. We played and about 15-20min later he was ready to go back to bed.
At 8/9 months he went down at 9pm and only woke after 1/2am..
It must be a phase, if cosleeping works for you otherwise, I wouldn't change it

blushingmare Fri 19-Dec-14 22:20:06

Thanks blackgoat - that's reassuring. I have been getting him up and bringing him down and putting him back to sleep in the pram when he wakes in the evenings, which has been working well in general. But the last couple of days I've thought maybe I should try to get him to stay in his cot, hence the up and down the stairs again. Maybe I'll go back to te pram - less hassle!

Smartleatherbag Fri 19-Dec-14 22:26:51

Mine went through phases of needing me in the evening, then phases of being happily asleep on their own. Nothing I did changed it tbh, they got there in the end.

DaphneMoonCrane Fri 19-Dec-14 22:29:03

DS2 (nearly 9mo) sleeps in a cot, but just to reassure you, he always wakes at some point in the evening - either right after I put him down, or after a couple of hours or both

We usually get him up and DH gives him a nappy change while I get ready for bed. Then I feed him back to sleep and go to bed myself. Ge usually but not always sleeps for longer stretches at night than in the evening (3-4 hours).

At 3 mo he was going to bed around 8pm and sleeping until 3am, quick feed then back down until 7am, so he's definitely regressed. He's my second, though, so I'm pretty relaxed about it. He'll get the hang of it eventually. He does seem to have been teething almost permanently since about 6 months (which is when his bottom teeth appeared and his sleep went a bit tits up).

wtffgs Fri 19-Dec-14 22:32:26

Tbf I think this is a difficult age, regardless of sleeping arrangements. The cot-sleeping child won't settle as well either sad Tablet, earphones and movie or iPlayer? (Not at all jealous that none of these were available to me 7 years ago winkgrin)

cookiefiend Fri 19-Dec-14 22:40:21

DD I'd 15 months and goes down at about 8 and I go to bed at about 12. Some nights she wakes, but I understand from friends with children in cots they also do.

MetroMonkey Sat 20-Dec-14 08:56:48

blushingmare: could it also be that he's a bit cold when not snuggled next to you? I'm always suddenly freezing in the bed when my SO is away. Obv you don't want to overheat him but he must be colder when not next to you?

Also, is there a way to safely put him to sleep in the same bed the whole time. They seem to know when they're in a different place and seem to sleep more peacefully of its the place where you're usually with them.

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