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4.5 months old and doesn't sleep well at night

(21 Posts)
nikilavin Tue 16-Dec-14 08:33:35

Hi Mums,

I'm a first time mother so may ask a question that's silly to some. Just bear with me please.

My 4.5 months old DS wakes up every 1 hour or 1.5 hours at night. I have friends whose babies sleep through the night and i read at this age, most babies do sleep through the night. I understand not all babies are the same but I'm in the verge of breaking down.

He naps lightly once before 6pm and naps longer once after 6pm ( cant seem to change this long nap after 6pm - open to suggestions) He then wakes up and we have our bedtime routine with feed and he after an hour or so he goes to sleep.

And then he wakes up every hour or so for a feed (or at least that's what I think) crying. I then pick him up, feed him and put him to bed hut he wakes up after an hour or so.

Is this normal for a baby nearing 5 months? What can i do to get him sleep longer at night without a feed if it is appropriate at this age?

They say, it gets better as they grow older but it doesn't seem like it to me. Or does everyone ho through this?

Please help


kimser Tue 16-Dec-14 10:53:18

Hi, I'm in the same sort of situation as you, my baby is almost 7 months and is waking every 2 hours wanting milk and it's exhausting. I posted on here yesterday about this and got lots of good advice. Some people said to give baby water in the night instead of milk and also to make sure baby is getting enough milk food during the day as baby may be waking up because of hunger. However this is for a baby of 7 months, at 5 months I don't know for sure if water is ok...I think baby needs to be 6 months old before you can do this. Also someone mentioned something called sleep training but again I think that's from 6 months so you may have to stick it out a bit longer and then at 6 months try new things.

kimser Tue 16-Dec-14 10:54:39

Also I'm a first time mum too and we're learning as we go..another thing I learned on here too is that this is normal and some times it can go on for up to 18-22 months old so really we are still in early days..

nikilavin Tue 16-Dec-14 17:16:23

Oh my! As much as it is exciting, it also sounds terrifying. Need loads of patience then sad. Thanks kimser

jugglingmonkey Tue 16-Dec-14 17:21:55

Hmmm, of course they are all different, but by 4.5 months I'd expect you need to lose the pre-6pm nap if you want to get a decent stretch after bedtime.

What are the other nap times?

GotToBeInItToWinIt Tue 16-Dec-14 17:52:51

So he's only having one short nap in the day before 6pm, then a long one after 6pm? What time does he actually go to bed? At 4 months we stopped Dad

GotToBeInItToWinIt Tue 16-Dec-14 17:58:20

So he's only having one short nap in the day before 6pm, then a long one after 6pm? What time does he actually go to bed? At 4 months we stopped DD napping after 5pm so that we could put her down at 7pm for the night. She was a rubbish daytime napper but usually slept for 40 mins at around 9am, 12 and 3.30ish at that age I think.

nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes Tue 16-Dec-14 21:23:06

Dd2 wakes every hour. Driving me nuts. No advice though as DH is up there at the mo trying to calm her and she's going nuts. As are my boobs.

Em1503 Wed 17-Dec-14 09:24:29

No advice I'm sorry but I thought I'd just say you're not alone! My DD is exactly the same age, has never slept through and the improvements I thought we were making seem to have all gone to pot! I can't get her to nap in the day any more unless she's asleep on me and she's started waking every 2 hours during the night. This is after I thought the 4 month sleep regression was over when she was waking every hour. It's do hard.

TarkaTheOtter Wed 17-Dec-14 09:29:47

I don't think most babies sleep through at 4months! Where did you read that? 4 month sleep regression is really common.

Heatherbell1978 Wed 17-Dec-14 10:00:55

How many day time naps does your baby do? They say sleep breeds sleep so if he's sleeping well in the daytime that might help? I have a 4 month old who goes down for a nap every hour and a half during the day but only sleeps for 30-40 mins. So we get about 4 naps during the day and I try to time the last one for about 5-5.30pm. His bath is then just after 6.30 and hes in bed at 7pm. He'll then sleep until DH gives him a bottle at 11pm (otherwise he's bf) bad that'll take him to around 5am.

caravanista13 Wed 17-Dec-14 10:04:57

Sounds really normal to me. Try Googling Sarah Ockwell Smith - lots of reassurance and good advice.

Palacemum Wed 17-Dec-14 11:43:26

My boy slept really well until nearly 4 months and then the 4 month sleep regression hit. He went to waking nearly every hour between 7pm and 11pm, and the would only sleep in my bed after the 11pm feed. Babies' sleep cycles really change at 4 months and it's a big developmental time for them. My boy is now 5.5 months and I've just started teaching him to sleep in his cot again but it was like starting over as he was so good at it before. Hang on in there, it will get better.

Redling Wed 17-Dec-14 11:45:35

My four month old goes to bed at 7.30ish and feeds at around midnight and around 4-5 at the moment, then wakes at 7 for the day but doesn't want a feed until about 8-9. He is hungry at these wake ups and wants a massive feed each time, what I see to be perfectly normal for a baby of his age. I don't think sleeping through is common at this age and if you are going to bed every night expecting it, that sounds far more etreasful than just accepting the wakeups! A baby of 4 months is still hungry often. I am not setting any age in my head for sleepi through because I see the stress some people get under thinking they or the baby are wrong somehow because they don't sleep through, it's developmental as well as 'taught' behaviour. Sleep training is generally thought to only work for older babies, and even then some seem more reay than others. We have short efficient wake ups usually with just a feed and sleep (a few shenanigans lately I attribute to 4 month regression!) and I can't chane it so I'm just trying to roll with it! I've given up resisting the inevitable! He gets enough sleep, which is the main thing.

Redling Wed 17-Dec-14 11:49:25

Looking at what you say about the nap, why not just make 6pm his bedtime if he regularly falls asleep then? Do bath routine at 5.30 and put him down at 6ish, if it's his natural preference he may sleep better. DS is awake 1.5-2 hours before bedtime and he goes out like a light after bath. So maybe try awake from 4 for bed around 6?

Mayvis Wed 17-Dec-14 18:57:26

Sleeping through is usually classed as a 6 hour stretch. Not all night. I don't know where you read about the majority of 4.5 months old doing so, but it's not true. It honestly isn't, 4 months is typically when most babies have a regression of some sort.

Most babies I know have been 1+ years before sleeping all night, my eldest was 21 months and my youngest still wakes hourly/2 hourly at 19 months.

ElphabaTheGreen Wed 17-Dec-14 19:13:31

Yep - DS1 was a one to two hourly waker from birth til about 17 months, then refused to sleep anywhere but in bed with me until he was almost two. I tried every single harsh and gentle sleep training strategy in the book, more than once, and none of it worked. I recall 4.5 months was about the time when I honestly thought I was going to die. Inexplicably, I didn't and I even managed to start, and successfully hold down, a new full time job from the time he was eight months. I was practically hallucinating the day I had to work after he gave me 13 wake-ups shock

For my sins, and despite employing every sleep trick in the book, DS2 - also 4.5 months - is shaping up to be exactly the same. Difference is, I'm sleep deprivation hardened and I know it ends.

Believe it or not, you do get used to it. You still spend every waking hour wishing you could sleep, but the feeling of imminent and catastrophic collapse does go away.

YY to managing daytime naps, though. Once he's been awake for 1.5hrs, start looking for sleepy signs then get him, and keep him, asleep any which way you can. If that's feeding to sleep on your lap parked in front of Netflix with a large box of Quality Street then so be it. You'll get to rest and you won't have to deal with a wired and angry baby between naps. It might even have a knock-on effect on his night sleep (but don't pin your hopes on it).

nikilavin Thu 18-Dec-14 18:22:27

Thanks all for your thoughts on this.

Well, a friend of mine sleep trained her baby when her baby was 3 months old. Another friend of ours has a baby whose 1 week older than our baby and she sleeps through the night so i guess it is possible. Didn't read it anywhere.

We definitely didn't want to do any of this sort to DS as we're aware sleep is very important for his development.

Well, looks like it is a phase he is going through then. I'm happy as long as baby is happy.


TarkaTheOtter Thu 18-Dec-14 20:36:51

Sorry, I wasn't having a go OP, you just said in your opening post that you had "read at this age, that most babies so sleep through the night". So I wondered where you had read it because I know very few who have. Most babies I know are waking a lot at 4 months even if they previously slept through.

Roxie85 Thu 18-Dec-14 22:56:40

I would advise looking at the nap times. If the long nap can turn into a natural bedtime it's worth a try. My little one didn't sleep well until 10 months and napped badly in the day too (3 x 30min naps)
I know a few people who had better sleep habits but some followed strict routines from birth (which wasn't right for me) and others just had snoozy babies. I did get told a lot about babies can sleep through from such an age but tbh it's a load of @# I am convinced it's people stretching the truth to fit in as they are scared they are doing something wrong.
Just do your best and keep trying. Eventually they do settle into some sort of rhythm (and then something comes along and messes it up - she says while cradling her screaming almost 1yr old who has started to wake at 10pm every night)

nikilavin Fri 19-Dec-14 16:32:22

Of course, that's fine. I was typing in a rush, remembered reading it on one of those baby centre kind of websites (not sure how reliable they are though)

Managed to see a little bit of improvement, though i wouldn't place high hopes smile. He has been goinf to sleep at 9.30 p.m. now for 3 days after his naps in the daytime, so fingers crossed

Thanks all once again

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