4.30 wake ups / use CIO?

[Hoggle246]

I really don't want to use cc/cio with ds (12 months) but I am reaching the end of my tether. He wakes at 4.30 every day.

He slept through 5-9 months. Then illness and separation anxiety made everything crap so we did gradual retreat sleep training which worked. But it didn't work for early wake ups. We got into the habit of bringing ds into bed with us to try and get a bit more sleep but he doesn't settle even then.

I've been advised on this board before to delay ds's morning nap which should help stop early waking but so far it hasn't.

I feel as though ds is in habit of coming into our bed even though he can self settle - We're obviously not helping him by bringing him into our bed, he's tired and we're at the stage where something needs to change.

Ds gets absolutely hysterical if you go into the room and leave again so for that reason cc seems crueller than cio, which although fills me with dread, might be kinder in the long run by not prolonging things.

Are there any other options? Or should I do cc (not cio) even though ds reacts so badly to someone leaving the room?

The other worry I have is that with cio for 4.30 wakeups, ds could just keep going until morning anyway.

I'm a bit lost. Has anyone else tackled the early wake ups successfully? Would rather try non cry methods of course but don't know what else to do.

[TheWiseOldElf]

I've had the same problem with DD2 but I can't resort to CIO because also have DD1 (2.2) who has been woken in the past. We're experimenting with a later bedtime (and later naps) with some success.

[RoganJosh]

I don't think either method would work with early morning wake ups. What time does he go to bed? I would try and push that back so that naps and bedtime are much later. Try an hour? If you pretend the clocks have changed again and see what happens.
I've been there at about the same age, it does get a bit better. Ours were variable from 4.40 to 5.30am so it felt more like it was morning. We used to just get up straightaway and she did just get a bit later. I don't think him coming through to you is necessarily the problem. The problem is that he's awake.

[Fairylea]

At the risk of being flamed completely I had 4.30am wake ups with both of mine and I used to just get up with them. Sounds absolutely mad but I used to go to bed early and switched my routines around so 4.30am we'd get up and 5 am was the equivalent of 6am for us. Gradually as they got older their patterns changed and I pushed everything back slowly so by 18 months / 2 both were going 6.30-6.30. I've never been able to get them past 6/6.30 in the mornings though (one is 2.5 now and one is 12- even the 12 year old still wakes at 6.30 naturally on a weekend). I do think some children are natural early birds ... ..

[funchum8am]

We just used to get up too before DD was 15 months or thereabouts. We tried CIO and CC but it meant we were awake anyway, whereas if one of us got up and played with her, the other could sleep.

She grew out of it somewhere between 15 and 18 months and now does 7-6:30 fairly reliably at 2.2.

[Aliennation]

I used to just get up with mine too. The only thing that worked in the end was pushing the morning and afternoon naps into one longer lunchtime nap.
I also don't think you can consider this an option if you have neighbours.

[SoMuchForSubtlety]

DD (12 months) wakes at about 5:30am every morning because she's hungry. I hand her a bottle and go back to sleep, she has some food and then drops the bottle in a corner of the cot when she's done and goes back to sleep as well, usually until about 7:30.

[Hoggle246]

Thanks so much all, what you're saying makes sense - I had wondered whether that time for a wake-up just means he's awake and cc/cio might not work. I would hate to try it and put him through it if it's doomed to fail anyway.

Am trying my best to push naps later, but he started falling asleep on his walker today so we only got to 9.30. I hadn't thought of a later bedtime as I worried he'd wake at same time and just get overall less sleep but will give it a go.

At 12 months what time did your dc go to bed? We have 7pm here and I try to not let him sleep later than 3/3.30 for last nap.

[PrincessTheresaofLiechtenstein]

I used to let mine play in bed next to me for a bit at that age and then get up with them. It all gradually improved until they were sleeping till 6:30 by the time they were 2 but I did push the morning nap as late as I could each day.

We had similar bed times to you at that age and I also tried not to let them nap past 3 ish (but that was doomed to fail with dc2 as she always fell asleep on the afternoon school run with dc1. She was never as early a waker as dc1 though!)

[RoganJosh]

At twelve months I've been looking at naps ending by soon after two. Maybe 2.20 if pushed. How long are the daytime naps in total?

[mrsmugoo]

A slightly different scenario as my DS is 9 months and he was recently waking at 4.30am, however this was the last night waking left - he'd never slept through. Feeding didn't re-settle him and I was in and out of his room for about an hour every morning when he finally would pass out for another 40 mins to an hour (but I never would!)

The things I did were:

• Stop feeding completely and implement a strict no feeds until waking up for the day rule
  
• Send my husband in instead of me
  
• Pretty much let him cio - only going back in for a quick reposition and a shush (although he never really full-on cried, just a frustrated whinge)
  
• Giving him some cereal before bedtime
  
• No naps before 9:30am regardless of wakeup time
  
• Pushing afternoon nap slightly later so could manage a later bedtime - now goes nearer to 8 than previously around 7
  

He now sleeps 8pm-7am most days - he has also dramatically upped his solids in-take recently and that may have something to do with his longer sleeping too.

[Hoggle246]

Thanks rogan and mugoo.

Overall nap time is usually about 2.5-3 hours. Today he slept 9.30-10.30 and then 1.40-3.20. The waking time from last nap was later than I would have liked but I can't bear to wake him up! Until he was 10 months he was a catnapper so these decent naps are godsends and also do him the world of good. But then again, he used to sleep through the night so perhaps the two are related?

mugoo I agree re sending dh in! Ds just doesn't monkey about with him in the same way. I've felt I couldn't ask dh to deal with it until now but with time off work over Christmas I will ask if he can take the lead.

He doesn't feed in night but funnily enough I have wondered whether he's getting hungry again. He had terrible vomiting and diarrhoea a few weeks ago which really 'emptied' (!) him so I've been increasing portion sizes and trying to give him quite filling foods at dinner.

I get the sense that him going to one nap could really help - he'll be awake longer in the morning to help reset the early waking and also have longer before bed to make sure he's really tired. I tried this yesterday though and he only had 1.5 hours from 11-12.30 so I felt that was too early waking to not have an afternoon catnap. I would have liked to push the nap a little later but he was really shattered by that point and I didn't want him to get too overtired.

Do you think I should persevere with one nap? At this age I know he's moving that way anyway so perhaps it would be a good idea...

[mrsmugoo]

Well mine is only 9 months and not yet ready to drop to one but I can already see the signs - his morning nap has got later and longer and I sometimes have to wake him up from his afternoon sleep because it's gone 4. I can't wait for him to be on one nap!

[Hoggle246]

I agree, I hate bloody naps! They've been one long nightmare tbh, ds would happily stay awake until he keeled over. They're much better now but that could actually be the problem iyswim.

We had 4am today and I have got a stinking cold. Trying to find some reserves of energy...