Sleep training 8 mo DS. Need to, but too exhausted and scared to try it.

[FraterculaArctica]

Longtime lurker on the sleep boards - DS is (almost) 8 mo and has been a bad sleeper since he was around 3 weeks old. DH and I are at breaking point - since he was 3 months, he's woken 5-10 times every night. 5-6 wakeups is a really, really good night; average about 8 wakeups (every hour, with an occasional block of 90-120 mins). Mostly resettles with bf (we co-sleep), but sometimes will go on howling for up to an hour when I put him down after a feed. Screams at DH for up to an hour if he tries to settle him, and then wakes up an hour later. I can't sleep through it anyway (we have a small house).

Think he's in pain with teething/colds, but Calpol, ipuprofen, bonjela, Anbseol seem to have little or no effect. When he's not showing signs of being in pain, will sleep for longer (2 - 2.5 hours) before first wakeup.

He doesn't feed to sleep at the start of the night - I feed him, put him in cosleeping cot next to me and he'll go to sleep with some patting/grumbling. Patting in the middle of the night just results in >1 hr protesting/howling. We have bedtime routine of bath, sleepsuit, story, starlight show though it does take a long time (around 1.5 hours till he's asleep). Goes to sleep between 7 and 8 pm, and wakes for the day between 6 and 7 am.

Naps - 2-3 per day, usually 30 min. I try EVERY time to get him to sleep longer (usually by feeding) - perhaps 1 nap in 8 or 10 he'll go back to sleep and sleep for another hour, very occasionally more. Doesn't sleep for longer in carseat (I'm not safe to drive anyway), pushchair, sling, or in my arms.

He is a fussy baby anyway - suffered terribly when small with colic/reflux/endless screaming - and I am terrified of traumatising him. Absolutely won't consider CC, reluctantly think we might have to let him cry with us there. But have no real conviction things will improve, or energy/resolve to make a plan and stick to it. Need to do something though as DH can barely work and I have PND anyway which is getting worse. We tried a "sleep consultant" when he was around 4 mo, who turned out to be a GF style maternity nanny who insisted we train him to nap through sleep cycles in pram (he just screamed) and otherwise said she couldn't help us.

Sorry so long. Any advice? I don't care about him sleeping through the night - an improvement to e.g. 2 or 3 wakeups, as he did as a newborn, would be bliss!

[Sweetpea86]

Could it be that you co sleep. My little boy is 8 months and I'm having trouble getting him to sleep he fights it so bad but once he's asleep he's fine. I found he was waking up through the night whinging, so we put him in his own room last week and he's sleeps so much better. I think we were disturbing him as his cot was right next to my side of the bed.

Would you feel comfortable him in his own room. I have to admit I found it extremely hard and nearly put the cot back in our room but it's worked well :)