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6 weeks - getting baby to sleep without feeding?!

(20 Posts)
Binglesplodge Sun 23-Nov-14 17:03:37

I have no idea if what I'm experiencing is normal or whether I'm just seriously lacking in skills - I can only get my 6 week old DS to sleep by feeding, he won't settle for cuddles (doesn't seem to like them, even when crying!) or rocking when I try them even though this works for DH...

People tell me he won't be settled by me because I smell of milk but at the moment I feel like such an inadequate mum because I absolutely can't get my baby to sleep either during the day or at night except by feeding him til he drops off. Once he's asleep I can put him in his basket or cot and he usually sleeps on for a while, though not as long as if I keep holding him.

Am I doing something wrong? Should I be able to shush him and jiggle him to sleep? Is he too young for me to be this worried about it?! At the moment the only time it's a problem is when he remains wide awake after a feed as then I have no other tactic available!

EverythingsRunningAway Sun 23-Nov-14 17:10:46

Why do you think this is a problem?

Does it matter how he falls asleep, especially if you can transfer him to a Moses basket once he's dropped off?

It all sounds pretty good to me for six weeks if feeding and sleeping are both happening without any major problems smile

Binglesplodge Sun 23-Nov-14 19:17:48

I suppose it's not a problem when it works, but if I feed him and he is still wide awake and tired afterwards, I don't have any other ways to get him to go down... In general he's a baby who cries a lot and most of my cuddling/rocking attempts end in tears!

JuniDD Sun 23-Nov-14 21:34:28

I have this with my five week old DD. She'll go down easily for anyone but me! I've found dancing with her on my shoulder or in the ring sling will settle her eventually. Just keep offering food and moving til she drops off. It's very hard when it's just us and I'm dreading my mum going back to work! Good luck

gamerchick Sun 23-Nov-14 21:37:30

At 6 weeks you go with what works. You have plenty of time to think about it when all his lights come on and he's more aware of the world.

WhispersOfWickedness Sun 23-Nov-14 21:39:02

It sounds totally normal to me, six weeks is so so tiny!
They will change so much and so fast at this age, so please don't worry that they will always need feeding to sleep or that you are doing anything wrong smile

Justgotosleepnow Sun 23-Nov-14 21:40:19

It's NORMAL!
People criticising you are bonkers.

Your baby is weeks old, you are their source of nutrition, safety and comfort. Of course they can fall asleep whilst feeding.

It doesn't mean they always will. When they are older and developmentally ready they will fall asleep with cuddles from you or others.

Listen to your instinct.
Listen to your gut feel.
What is your baby communicating to you?
Ignore everyone else.

PoppyWearer Sun 23-Nov-14 21:40:31

Honestly, at 6wo, go with what works and what feels right to you. Trust your instincts.

museumum Sun 23-Nov-14 21:42:05

I fed to sleep for about six months then gradually moved stories in between feed and sleep. Ds now 14mo goes down well.

I wouldn't worry AT ALL about feeding a 6wk old to sleep.

rastamam Sun 23-Nov-14 21:42:06

Your not an inadequate mum atall, feeding to sleep isnt a problem. Way too young to worry! Dont worry and just go with it!

Holscrafty Sun 23-Nov-14 21:43:45

Our little one was just the same -though you were writing about our child. He still doesn't care much for cuddles or being rocked. Now, at 12 weeks he still feeds before a sleep but is always awake as he goes into his cot and gets himself off to sleep shortly after. I'm sure the same will happen for you.

Borderterrierpuppy Sun 23-Nov-14 21:44:05

Please don't worry it's normal, I have had five children and am a midwife and none of mine went to sleep any other way. X

JuniDD Sun 23-Nov-14 22:02:10

The problem for me is that DD gets cross because she is tired but can't drop off with me but doesn't want to fees more but can smell it so thinks she should. Cue some time spent with an angry baby when other people can get her off without a peep! Not good for the self-esteem! But you'll get there.

RubyrooUK Sun 23-Nov-14 22:06:55

My son is 20mo and will only go to sleep through feeding. It's starting to get annoying. grin

Six weeks is way too young to worry. What could be more delicious than falling into delicious, full, milky sleep? Don't beat yourself up.

I'm sure you've probably had more useful advice on this thread but mine is: don't feel bad, things change and 6 weeks is too young to worry about bad habits.

(Oh and these days my 20mo can actually go to sleep without feeding when I'm out at work events in the evening; he would just rather still fall into a dozy milky sleep!)

mollypollly Sun 23-Nov-14 22:11:57

Hi OP,
I had the exact same thing with my DD...I could feed her to sleep but any amount of rocking etc wouldn't work for me-but my husband could get her off this way every night. It made me feel really sad and as though she found him more comforting somehow, but it really is just the milk smell that keeps them stimulated.
At 8 weeks we started to pop her down in her moses basket to get herself off to sleep...I was amazed by how quickly she got the hang of it smile
Hang in there, it gets so much easier!! X

MumsKnitter Sun 23-Nov-14 22:12:46

Just feed him!

SoMuchForSubtlety Sun 23-Nov-14 22:17:34

Six weeks is so little. Other people forget what age their babies did things I've found. Go with what works. Baby sleep is like gold dust, do not put criteria on it just get them to sleep as much as possible!

For what it's worth (all babies are different so see where your DS takes you) DD only fed to sleep until she was about 6 months old, and at 11 months she still prefers it if she's grumpy, but once I stopped bf (went back to work) she started to settle without a feed.

LetticeKnollys Sun 23-Nov-14 22:41:16

My 8 week old used to be like this just a couple of weeks ago - now I can bounce and shush him!

He started liking walked up and down the hall with dimmed lighting at first. Frankly I'd rather feed him to sleep though when it's the middle of the night!

Don't worry, he likes to be fed to sleep because it's his favourite thing to do. If he's like my baby then he'll get full faster soon and then be less interested when he's tired. smile

Binglesplodge Wed 03-Dec-14 01:33:57

To follow up: he's now 7 weeks and no longer feeds to sleep every time. Now I'm really stuck!! Any rocking, bouncing, shushing, singing doesn't work and now I'm ending up with a well fed but really annoyed baby who I just can't get to sleep... This is hell! How on earth am I supposed to get him to settle?

This is the third night in a row that he's been totally unwilling to sleep and I've been unable to hep him. The last 2 nights I've had to wake my husband to help but he has to be up super early for a work trip tomorrow so I really can't deprive him of the little sleep he's getting.

At the moment I'd happily give back my baby if I was given the chance. Please give me hope that it will get better. There's only so much middle of the night screaming I can take!

mrsmugoo Wed 03-Dec-14 11:02:39

It does get better I promise - I remember starting a thread when mine was 8 weeks old because he just wouldn't sleep!!

I used the pushchair to get him to nap in the day and fed him to sleep at night until he was about 4 months then progressed to putting him down and getting him to settle himself - although he still needed a feed to wind down before a nap until gone 6 months old!

Hang on in there, it's so, so hard at the start.

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