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Naps, feeding to sleep, sleeping more than 90minutes, not happening. Considering sleep consultant-any recommendations please

(10 Posts)
pebPEB1 Thu 20-Nov-14 11:36:52

DD is 7months next week, she's never been a great sleeper but the last 10 wks have been getting worse & I'm struggling a lot now.
Fundamentally she's finding it harder to get to sleep, she's ebf & feeding to sleep which I was happy with no longer works, she wakes between 60 & 90 minutes through the night every night. Currently co-sleeping as I can't bear the thought of getting up & down so many times through the night. DP & I are very reluctant to use a dummy. White noise has been tried, singing to sleep, rubbing tummy, leaving for a while (I can't let her cry) but in spite of this she's getting worse. She's very happy through the day & doesn't seem to have overtired meltdowns but it can't be good for her & I'm at a loss what to do.
I've heard of sleep consultants but don't know anyone that's used one so if anyone has any advice/recommendations please let me know. Thank you.

Artistic Thu 20-Nov-14 11:45:42

At 7 months she has probably been started on solids. With my DD I found her sleep to be disturbed at the same stage, and after loads of trial & error found that her tummy wasn't full. The entire day's calories which I was feeding her was simply not enough for her to have a good nights sleep. So I increased food portions & used bf only as a drink (not as a meal) & soon she was sleeping much better. Infact we soon dropped the midnight feed & she was able to sleep 10 hour stretches. See if this works?

LetThereBeCupcakes Thu 20-Nov-14 11:48:37

DS was exactly the same - woke every 90 minutes until he was 14 months old. We eventually discovered he had CMPI (Cows Milk Protein Intollerance). Things got worse when we first started weaning, and then much worse when he turned 1 and we started giving him cows' milk to drink. Once we figured it out we took him off dairy and he started sleeping through the night within a fortnight. What is your DD like when she wakes? Is she happy / content, or does she seem distressed?

pebPEB1 Thu 20-Nov-14 12:08:30

Thank you for your replies. She's very happy, active, interested in everything when she's awake, a real pleasure. Trying hard to move around/crawl aswell. We started offering solids at 26wks but wouldn't accept spoon feeding, now she'll have a tiny amount of porridge off a spoon & play/suck spit out what's offered that we eat (toad in hole, broccoli, toast fingers yesterday) so not consuming any calories via solids yet, she'll get there in her own time I think but I'm not in a position to increase her intake just keep offering.
CMPI has been on the cards before & I went strict dairy free for nearly a mnth in the summer then the paediatrician said to stop as it wasn't the problem. She's not a sicky baby, has had various gut discomforts or so we think, early on but I can't be sure it's not there as a problem now. Nothing to lose by trying dairy free again I guess.

nottheOP Thu 20-Nov-14 12:22:58

It is a dodgy time for sleep. When DS was the same age he did the following;

5.5 mts - crawling backwards
6.5 - crawling forwards
7 - pulling up
7.5 cruising

After that 6.5 - 7.5 month was up he slept well until he was 13 months where he got a little bit dodgy. Not his fault that time though, me moved in with the outlaws and my FIL was disturbing him. Anyway... enough about my DS!

The hourly wake ups is a typical response to a negative sleep association. Not all kids are negatively affected by feeding to sleep but it appears that your DD can't self sooth hence the assistance required throughout the night. It can be a bit more of a killer when the developmental leaps are in play as they will often want a middle of the night party (MOTN as I used to say)

How do you feel about pick up, put down as a technique for teaching her to self soothe? Here's a guide www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/pupd-tbw.html

You're not leaving her to cry, but she may cry in the process. It is age appropriate.

I always like to point out overtiredness as I believe that sleep = more sleep. Here's a guide to awake time lengths in the daytime www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/02/wake-time.html

I think with a BF to sleep assocation you need to use your best asset - your DP. He doesn't have what she wants so without you, she can learn how to fall asleep without thinking, 'hey, mamma - you've got what I want, why aren't you giving up the goods?'

Your routine needs to remove the feeding to sleep element altogether. DS has had the sleep routine of bath (if needed), PJs, milk downstairs, teeth brushing, book x 3 (always the same ones) and then bed. He goes in wide awake and has done since about 4 months.

Re milk at nighttime, I think you need to set limits. I personally believe that at 7 months that there is no requirement for milk for at least 7/8 hours and by 9 months they can do 12 hours. I'd do a feed in the bedtime routine, a dream feed and then nothing until morning. I think 6.30am is often fair.

I hope this helps!

Serendipity71 Fri 21-Nov-14 22:16:30

We used Sian Thomas at www.sleepbabies.co.uk such a lovely lady and saved my sanity. Took a couple of weeks but was so worth it. Good luck

ilovetosleep Sat 22-Nov-14 09:50:41

Just to let you know you are not alone. Ds2 7.5 mo, not interested in solids, won't sleep more than 90-120 hrs all night long without a bf back to sleep. Have tried total elimination diet to rule out intolerances- no improvement. Unfortnuatley though, DS is mostly miserable with tiredness throughout the day which makes it hard sad

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Sat 22-Nov-14 21:45:24

Have you actually tried seeing what happens if you leave her?

I only ask because I tried it with DD1 and it was a disaster, so I never did it with DD2 or planned to with DS. But a couple of nights ago he just wasn't going to sleep, and I unavoidably had to leave him for 10 minutes. I put him in his cot and dealt with the other thing. After 10 minutes it was occasional squeaks, not upset, so I left him. 5 more minutes and asleep. No worse overall than he might do in a traffic jam, for example. Three consecutive nights and he's screamed for not more than 2 minutes (literally 2 minutes) and gone to sleep.

He's still waking up a lot at night and has come down with a stinking cold which is making things worse last night, but you know, it is a start.

pebPEB1 Sun 23-Nov-14 12:02:42

Thanks for more replies. I'm dairy free now & yes have tried waiting to see what she'll do if I'm not there straight away (put her in own room 3 nights ago) twice she has gone back to sleep quickly but not the remaining 5 wake ups or so, she'll shout/groan pause then build very quickly to a cry then I go in. Ten minutes would feel too long Id be in tears by then. DP has helped on a couple of times but I always wake well before him so usually get there first plus he's up at 5.30 to milk our cows so i guess I probably give in to feeding sooner than if I wasn't worrying about waking him, that's my choice not his. I don't know I haven't got the strength or energy to sleep train or probably even follow a programme set by a sleep consultant, she's very young still so I think I've just got to see what happens & see if dairy exclusion helps. Last night she woke every 2 hours in the dot, I couldn't settle her so fed each time so feel like a failure before I've even started.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Sun 23-Nov-14 12:11:42

Honestly, as a vetran of three poor sleepers, if 10 minutes of crying is too much for you, you probably won't be able to sleep train. Almost every programme for a child this age will involve crying - whether that's pick up/put down (when there are lots and lots of short bursts), leaving them for a few minutes, etc. Only once they are much older can you do stories/sleep fairies, etc, etc.

When I said I left my DS (to attend to one of the others) it was 10 minutes at the start of the night. The idea is that you work on being able to go to sleep on their own and only then do you phase out night feeds, etc.

The other option is to ride it out. I've done that too. DD2 woke every 2 hours until she was over 18 months and didn't sleep through until nearly 2. We got there in the end smile

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