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Losing my mind - 4.30 wake up

(11 Posts)
Hoggle246 Fri 14-Nov-14 06:30:31

Will try to keep this brief...

Ds (almost 11 mo) slept through from 5m then had separation anxiety at 9m which buggered everything up. Did gradual retreat sleep training which worked well but we have been left with a wake-up every morn on the dot of 4.30. We tried gradual retreat at this time but didn't really work (30 mins standing there for max 30 mins more sleep) so I gave up and for about 2 months now have brought ds into bed with me. He'll get an extra 1-1.5 hrs that way but it's not restful for him as he's very restless during this time. And I don't get back to sleep on account of the slapping, kicking etc that is my fidgety baby -- and dh takes all the cover angry--

I am losing my mind starting my day at 4.30. Ds VERY full on and active during the day so I'm just permanently shattered. And the last few mornings I've been really grumpy with ds because of lack of sleep and slapping etc and I hate being a grump with him!

Any advice on how to stop the habit of this wake-up? When he was sleeping through he would fairly often stir at some point between 4-6 but would either self settle or we would give him a dummy and he would happily go off again for another hour at least. Now the moment he wakes he's standing at the cot and wailing like a banshee. Just don't know how to stop this, and ds def needs more sleep - as do I!

Iggly Fri 14-Nov-14 06:32:46

Teeth?

Saltedcaramel2014 Fri 14-Nov-14 06:41:09

It's brutal. You have all my sympathy (apart from a bit I keep for myself for when DS does this). We had three months of 4.30, then he dropped the morning nap and it got later, 5.30 usually. I came to the conclusion if was a developmental leap thing. There was (I'm afraid? Nothing that we did that made a blind bit of difference

TwentyTinyToes Fri 14-Nov-14 06:45:10

You could try the wake to sleep method. Google it, but basically you rouse them one hour before their usual wake up time and then they settle into a different sleep cycle and start to sleep longer. I had some success with my 4 year old and 4.30 starts recently.

If it is any consolation I would be pleased if my almost 2 year old slept through until 4.30. It is grim being so tired all the time, I really do sympathise.

omama Fri 14-Nov-14 07:40:56

I had similar with my ds too so you have my sympathies. Currently expecting dc2 so hoping we can avoid it this time. My ds generally woke up early for one of 3 reasons (I can say this now with hindsight):
1. Developmental leaps (google the wonder weeks) - there is a big one around 8-9 months that coincides with crawling
2. Being overtired
3. Daytime nap starts too early

For 2 & 3 really consider his daytime sleeping. Post your routine if you think it might help. If he's not getting enough sleep he may be overtired & this can lead him to become restless at night & wake early.

If his morning nap starts too early this can also lead to early waking as they start to need to be awake longer before naptime. If his morning nap starts before 9.30 I would try slowly pushing it later by 5mins every few days til it starts no earlier than 9.30 & this should help.

Hoggle246 Fri 14-Nov-14 08:54:00

Thanks so much all, this is so helpful! Glad to hear I'm not the only one (misery loves company etc)

I don't think it's teething, we're v. lucky that they don't affect his sleeping really, and he has 8 of the bleeders already grin

I hadn't thought of wake to sleep but that's a great idea.

For naps, he sleeps 3 hours after he wakes, so this morning he woke just before 6am so I would put him down just before 9am. Does this sound too early? He sleeps for anywhere between 45mins and 2 hours. He then has another nap about 2pm again for anywhere from 45 mins - 1.5 hours depending on length of morn nap.

nottheOP Fri 14-Nov-14 09:03:08

Omama has it right, IME & IMO.

DS's routine at that age was awake at 7.30 (I never wake him up though if he wants to sleep on at the weekend but I have work in the week)

Lunch at 11
Nap at 11.30 - 1.30
Nap at 4.30 - 5.30
Bed at 8ish

The wonder weeks don't get mentioned much on this site but run true for lots of babies. DS did his developing in one huge month and his sleep was awful. It settled after he could cruise though.

omama Fri 14-Nov-14 09:39:06

Hoggle I used to do nap a set number of hours after waking too, but once they start waking early it means the nap has to be earlier & you then get caught in a vicious cycle of early wake, early nap, and they then use it to catch up on what they are missing at night.

I found that keeping the nap at more or less a set time was much more effective in helping to reset ds' bodyclock. I'd prob keep nap at 9am for 3 days, then do it at 9.05 (or 9.10 if you think he can manage it ) for 3 days & so on. That way you are shifting it without keeping him up so much longer he gets hugely overtired. Get to 9.30 & keep it there for a couple of weeks & see what happens.

He is getting towards an age now where his daytime sleep needs will drop - somewhere between 12-18 months he will no longer need a morning nap every day.

If a nap at 9.30 doesnt sort things, this may be the very beginnings of that transition and you may have to push it a bit later still. We had a stage from around 11-14months where ds napped 10/10.30am for a good 2 hrs & then might have a catnap at teatime. Eventually he refused the catnap & we had to push the nap to 11am & do a mega early bedtime of 6pm or he wouldn't last the day. By about 16-17 months he started waking early again so we pushed the nap to after lunch & bedtime back to its usual 7pm & the early waking completely stopped. Hth.

Hoggle246 Fri 14-Nov-14 11:26:06

Thank you so much that's been a big wake up call (no pun intended!). I didn't even consider that the naps we're affecting the early waking. He's always been a bad napper so I've been thrilled he's starting to sleep for proper naps but actually that could have been tied up with early waking it seems! I did wonder a month or so back if he was transitioning to one nap so will take it slowly as you suggest and see how we go. Thanks again all flowers

GeorgeTheGiraffe Wed 26-Nov-14 06:35:20

Could this be why my almost 9mo wakes every other day before 5am?! I've been trying for ages to set nap times but when she wakes so early she can't wait til 830/9am for her first nap. 2nd nap she'll often wake up by 2pm and then refuses late catnap so is overtired by 630pm bedtime. Any suggestions?

LimesMum Wed 26-Nov-14 07:18:44

Every sympathy from me too!! We are now 9.5 months and have been waking at 4am for about 3 months, I'm so over it and exhausted!!

All started when DD started crawling, standing, cruising, walking but doesn't seem to be changing....

I'm trying to wait for the 9.30am nap Omama but she is usually over tired by then and I have a huge battle to get her off.

Sorry to steal this thread but wondered if I could ask advice. If I do get her for a 9.30 nap is it true this should only be a short one and to wake her if not? Also what time should the next nap be? Think I'm getting it wrong as I do lunch at 1pm and nap after that (which is always a huge battle).

I'm going back to work soon and desperately want to sort this before!!

Thanks

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