Tired and clueless!(9 Posts)
This is my first post (although i have been trawling the sleep boards with bleary eyes for a while) so please bear with me. I'll try to make sense but I'm pretty sleep deprived and not really sure what I'm asking! Many, many thanks in advance to anyone who is able to suggest anything.
DD is coming up to 10 months and until about 5 months was a pretty awesome sleeper (I now rue the day I ever felt smug about that!). I think at her best she was sleeping 8pm-7am, with a dreamfeed (bf) at 10pm ish and waking for a feed at 4am or 5am. She'd be really easy to settle after feeds, all was good!
Then all of a sudden at 5 months (late 4 month sleep regression?) she started waking every two hours, all night. On a really good night she might do one 4 hour stretch (this hasn't happened for about a fortnight now) on a really bad night she's awake every 40 mins/hour.
She feeds pretty much to sleep (don't tell me off! I know this is probably a 'rod for my own back') but probably about 50% of the time, when I go to transfer her to the cot, she'll stir and I'll be able to settle her with a bit of back rubbing. I'm optimistically thinking this is the magical going down 'drowsy but awake' but am probably lying to myself!
She's asleep in the cot by 7.30/8pm and will without fail wake up 30 mins later (waking up straight into crying). She then wakes up every 10mins to an hour until she falls into the two-hour waking thing from around 9.30pm. It's like she has to have a few practice goes at sleep before she goes for a longer stretch. On these early wakings she nearly always settles for a cuddle and a bit of rocking (no way she would be resettled in the cot)
Later in the night she will almost always only settle for boob, and often seems to be really feeding quite enthusiastically (so I don't think she's feeding solely for comfort). She wakes up crying, so it's not as if I'm jumping in too fast when she's just snuffling around. I did wonder whether it was teething-related, but a. it's been going on for months and months with no real change, and b. when we've given pain relief this seems to make zero difference.
I've been telling myself for months that this is just a phase, a developmental thing, teething etc etc, and realistically I know it probably is all of those things, but there's no break! We end up cosleeping for part of every night (DD doesn't wake up any less, but I find I'm more rested if I can stay in bed at least) but it's not something I really want to do longer-term.
I'm too scared to try anything in case it makes it worse (!) and too tired to think it through properly. The cot's still in our room because I'm worried about moving her and having to trek down the hallway every two hours.
I'm far too much of a wuss for any controlled crying, I think, so I'm hoping that if anyone does read this they'll either say their baby was exactly the same until they magically grew out of it at, say, 10 months, or that if I make one easy and painless change it will all fall into place (hopeful!)
Any advice would be very very much appreciated, and sorry this is so mammoth. Actually just writing it down has at least helped me clarify the issues in my mind, so even if I'm just ranting to the internet, it's been somewhat useful!
Really awful night last night so a hopeful bump in case anyone has any suggestions!
I'm reviving this in case anyone can offer any suggestions. DD has a stinking cold at the mo so not expecting anything to change until she's back to her usual self, but trying to get myself prepared for Doing Something once she's better (Gradual Retreat?)
Sorry, no advice I'm afraid, but I see that you haven't had any responses and I just wanted to let you know that this sounds a lot like my DS (also 10 months) although it sounds like your DD wakes slightly more often. It seems to make no difference if DS feeds to sleep or goes into his cot drowsy but awake, he still wakes several times a night crying. He stands up before he's fully awake and can't/won't lie down again and then has to be rocked or fed back to sleep and usually ends up in with us at some point. If you find a miracle solution please let me know! I wonder if it's because he's practicing standing in his sleep and wakes himself up!!
My DD didn't sleep through until I moved her into her own room. It's worth a try? It's likely being so close, when she stirs and realises you are their then she wants your attention? If she stirs in a room alone she may just self settle back to sleep.
Thanks for the solidarity Kate! Your DS does sound similar. I do think a lot is developmental but what if they never get a break from developing?
Thanks No - I think we do really have to bite the bullet and sort her room out, as you say it's got to be worth a try. Did your DD transition to her own room easily or was it worse for a while?
She slept through from the very first night in there!
I night weaned my DD at around this age. DH settled her at night for me until a set time then would let her feed. Gradually moved that time closer & closer to morning. She did cry but he held/cuddled her. This did mean she slept through for quite a while after. I know that there is a certain amount of debate about when is best to night wean but I did this after discussion with my local breast feeding support worker. I don't know if you would be lucky enough to have such a thing near you to ask advice from?
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