I don't know what's wrong!!

[sometimesyouwin]

DS2 (7mths) is a rubbish sleeper like DS1. We've had very broken nights for months but tonight is the first time I haven't actually been to sleep at all! I came up with him at 8:15. He is ebf and I feed him to sleep most times if he won't resettle with ssshhh patting. Wait for him to fall asleep then transfer into his cot (side car next to bed) beside me. Recently he wakes full on crying about 10 mins after I put him down then we start all over again. I've tried paracetamol tonight and teething powders in case he's in pain but it's not made any difference. I just don't know what else it could be.
I've been ill back to back for the last 4 months and am reaching breaking point now. DH thinks I should quit breastfeeding as I've had mastitis multiple times but I'm scared as I've no idea how I would get him back to sleep! He won't have a dummy. I want to try a bottle once this bout of mastitis has cleared up so I can at least get a little break.
He's the happiest baby ever during the day but my maternity leave has just been a blur of illness . I've not got the energy to do anything during the day and feel bad for DS1 on days like today when I have both of them on my own. I go back to work in Feb and have no idea how I'm going to function.
Does anyone have any suggestions of anything I could try? I apologise for rambling on but needed to vent and I live in hope that someone out there might have a miraculous solution!

[sometimesyouwin]

Sorry for posting this! I read it back this morning and realised it was just a big moan. Everything always seems unmanageable when you're sat up in a dark room on your own all night. I need to get a grip.

[rootypig]

Not at all, sleep and baby issues are totally dire at the best of times, let alone when you've had such a tough time being ill.

Have you considered putting him in a cot in his own room? If you have him next to you for night feeding, you could combine moving with night weaning. What do you think?

[ampersandand]

I posted too last night about my 12 week old not settling, took 4 hours last night to get him off properly in his cot, he's pretty much same will fall asleep but will wake soon after or as soon as he's put down. Ebf, fed to sleep and refuses a dummy.
I thought perhaps it was a growth spurt? Will be watching this thread.

[ampersandand]

*Some nights my partner will bounce him on the birthing ball for around 30 mins to an hour until he's sound asleep. That's what eventually worked last night.

[flanjabelle]

Have you tried waking him slightly as you put him down so that he realizes he is in the cot? I had to do this with dd or she woke up ten mins later completely freaked out as she didn't know where she was. If you tilt him so he is upright as you put him in he should stir slightly, enough to know he is being put down, but not enough to wake properly. It helped with dd, it might be worth a try. Sorry you are having such a tough time.

[callamia]

Oh no! You don't need to get a grip, it's miserable feeling like sleep is never going to happen. Six/Seven months was awful for us because that's when DS was learning to crawl, and he woke himself up constantly. I think his brain was just working over time. It was exhausting, and we just muddled through it. I'm sorry I don't have any particular magic advice, but I do know what you're feeling - and I do sympathise completely. I hope you're feeling more well again soon.

[violetbean]

We started feeling like the sleep was becoming a real problem around 7 months, after muddling through in a haze of sleep deprivation. Bought the book 'No cry sleep solution' and started following some of the tips in it. By 10 months old things were a LOT better. Now at 11 months we generally only have 1 wake up per night, if at all. Hope you can find a way forward, it really can get much better. Let me know if you want to know the specific things we did to change things around.

[sometimesyouwin]

Thanks guys! I do feel like all I do is moan about sleep!

Rooty, lack of space is an issue in our house. We only have 2 bedrooms. DS1 shares with DH as that's the only way he sleeps through and I'm in the other room with DS2. The plan is for them to share eventually!!

Flanja, your idea makes a lot of sense but no matter how carefully I try to move him he always stirs and then it's instant tears. I've tried moving him when awake but dozy and also waiting until he's in a deep sleep (floppy arm test!) and neither works. It's like he waits just long enough for me to snuggle down under the warm duvet and the moment I'm comfy he starts stirring!

Violet, I actually have a copy of the 'no cry sleep solution' somewhere which I bought when I had DS1 as I'm all for gentle parenting. Both of my sons have sensitive gag reflexes which means they vomit very easily when they get upset. I have to jump in there pretty quickly to prevent dealing with a sicky mess! Might be worth revisiting the book. I'd be really interested to hear which bits you found worked for you

I told myself all this sleep business would be easier to cope with second time around as I knew what to expect but I think I secretly thought I might be blessed with a better sleeper! More fool me! Definitely no more babies for me! I hope all the rest of you struggling with sleep get some respite sometime soon. I wouldn't wish sleep deprivation on my worst enemy!

[violetbean]

Poor you! Can't quite remember all the things we did from the book but here are some:

• get a bedtime routine going, starting about an hour earlier than we had previously been trying to get him to sleep
  
• keep all the lights dim for the hour before bed, even if he has a bath put a lamp outside the bathroom door rather than putting on the bright lights
  
• keeping the noise levels low for the hour before bed
  
• talk to him about the routine, e.g. 'now we're going up to change your nappy, then we'll get dressed for bed, then we'll read a story, then have some milk and then it's sleepytime'. Even if he can't answer back he may understand what you're saying.
  
• reading some nice stories before bed, usually 3 board books
  
• turning the light off completely while he's feeding to sleep, then when he's asleep transferring to cot (we don't do the 'drowsy but awake thing as it didn't work for us)
  
• not feeding him milk at all during the night, he only gets water or a dummy between 10pm and 6.30am. First few nights were tough but he got it pretty quickly.
  

Hope that helps!

[sometimesyouwin]

Thanks Violet. They all sound like good ideas. I tend to feed him downstairs and watch some telly whilst DH gets DS1 to bed as it's a bit of time out for me as I don't have any evening time downstairs. I should probably start taking him up earlier and Fred him in our room.

We're already at the start of another nightmare night. I think I may have slept for 40 mins in between resettling so far. I'm now finding I can't actually remove him from my boob without waking him and causing tears. It's going to be a long night!