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Help me please!

(15 Posts)
QuietNinjaTardis Fri 07-Nov-14 11:43:50

Dd has never been a brilliant night sleeper and at a minimum will wake 2–3 times a night for a feed but we seem to have cycles where she wakes a stupid amount and I am on my knees!
She's bf and will feed back to sleep but she's waking so much I'm just so tired. She can self settle but it made no difference to her night waking at all. She's waking every 1/2 hour to am hour all night long. I cannot leave her screaming (she woke ds at 4.30am this morning because I didn't jump straight out of bed and he's gone to school tired) I'm not going to do cc she just gets so worked up that it's not worth it. Anyone have any ideas what the hell is going on?
I got her checked out at the docs today and she is perfectly healthy, it's not teething and she's not hungry so what the hell is it apart from she wants comfort? Which I am happy to give but not all bloody night long.
She naps well during the day, she eats well. I can't keep on like this. She's just turned 11 months. Help!

loudarts Fri 07-Nov-14 11:54:56

No ideas but would like to reassure you, you are not alone. My Ds is 10 months and is exactly the same. I asked my health visitor for advise and all she said was to let him cry it out. I have 5 other dcs (he is the only poor sleeper out of the lot) so that is impossible for me to do, and I don't really want to leave him to cry anyway. Hope someone more knowledgeable comes along to help you.

QuietNinjaTardis Fri 07-Nov-14 12:00:12

It's nice to know I'm not alone loudarts. Everyone else's babies seem to sleep brilliantly. My mums like shouldn't she be sleeping through now? I said if she could let my dd know that would be great. hmm

QuietNinjaTardis Fri 07-Nov-14 15:44:17


Imnotbeverley Fri 07-Nov-14 19:58:42

Sounds like teeth if it's every half hour? Or separation anxiety? Any signs of either during the day?

I don't have any magic solutions unfortunately, but your baby is definitely not the only one not sleeping through. DS is just 11 months too and a good night is 2-3 wake ups, I think that (like most things) they will do it in their own time. I know that is depressing, you have my sympathy. Have you considered any gentler sleep training methods, like gradual retreat?

Imnotbeverley Fri 07-Nov-14 20:00:21

Sorry, just seen you said she isn't teething. It does sound like it though, I posted on here last week when sleep deteriorated here and then lo, a tooth appeared on weds despite no other symptoms!

doingitagain14 Fri 07-Nov-14 20:20:39

In the same boat here with my almost 10 month old - totally knackered! So sorry no tips as I am also at wits end but you are definitely not alone - it can feel that way though can't it - i am sick of hearing that he should be sleeping through by now, or others complaining that they are woken once a night - I dream of that!

QuietNinjaTardis Fri 07-Nov-14 20:21:23

She has been quite clingy. She woke up about half an hour after bedtime screaming, couldn't cuddle her back to sleep so had to feed her again. She kept looking around the room as if she was worried. Could it be night terrors? Or bad dreams? Though that's an awful lot of bad dreams to have in one night though.

Cakeismymaster Fri 07-Nov-14 21:13:36

Hi ninja, I remember you from sleep threads a while back. My dd was a carbon copy of your dc until 3 weeks ago. Bf to sleep and up every hour or more all night long. Hadnt slept in my own bed since last Xmas! She turned 13 months and I told myself that it was time for a plan - which absolutely could not include cc or cry it out etc.
anyway she went from the same as your dc to sleeping 10-7 in 3 nights and then sleeping 7-7 in 5 nights! Total shock. And there was no screaming or crying it out...a bit of moaning and grumbling the first few nights on the times she did wake but that's it...
Two key points though which may be an issue for some people (and I totally understand) - first, your DH/dp needs to be on board as in our case he did the bedtime and went to her when she woke. And secondly I stopped bf'ing (we were only bf'ing at night so possibly night weaning could have the same effect)

QuietNinjaTardis Sat 08-Nov-14 08:16:43

Hi cake sorry I missed your post I went to bed! I think once she gets past 12 months we will definitely do something if it's not any better. The only problem with Dh trying to settle her is she screams even louder if he picks her up. I am more than happy to night wean, more than happy!
She woke 3 times last night which is a huge improvement on the previous several nights. Got a stretch of 3 hours which has helped though I still feel tired. I just fed her back to sleep each time and she dropped off quickly.

QuietNinjaTardis Sat 08-Nov-14 08:27:15

It's just. So bad at the mo that I'm sure it will involve screaming which I don't really want. If i do t go to her straightaway she screams until I go. It's like we've gone backwards. I really appreciate all the posts. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who was t blessed with good sleepers.

nottheOP Sat 08-Nov-14 08:28:25

I think your dh will be your best tool as you bf and the association is so strong there. I would make some rules:

No feeding at night time
no getting out of her cot to settle
send should Into every waking for a weekend - lots of support and no other plans that weekend
3 nights at that should break the back of it. She's just got into a bad habit I reckon. She'll be happy after 12 hours kip

QuietNinjaTardis Sat 08-Nov-14 08:56:14

It would definitely have to be after Xmas to do something like that not. We've got plans every weekend up until Xmas. She'll be one in dec so am happy to be a bit tougher after that but I still want to avoid cc in any major form.

Cakeismymaster Sat 08-Nov-14 15:56:59

Ninja I agree with you to wait till after Xmas if you are happy to. I had to wait until the first school hols after dd birthday as I knew it would disturb everyone else. Dd was the same as yours in that previously (at around 9-12 months) she would scream if DH went in.,however as she passed those clingy months she was more accepting of him! And when we did the plan, I should have said he actually went and laid down with her each time so she really did get comforted etc which was what I think prevented any real crying.
Anyway probably don't listen to me as dd was up 10-12 last night - hoping its a teething blip only smile

QuietNinjaTardis Sat 08-Nov-14 16:29:56

Thanks cake, my ds was clingy from 9-12 months so if dd is similar hopefully we can start when she's not being so clingy. Will definitely make a plan once Xmas is out the way. In the meantime I will just keep feeding when she wakes and hope I do t collapse from exhaustion!

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