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8 yo has bad dreams

(4 Posts)
AJ65 Mon 03-Nov-14 15:56:12

My daughter has been telling me for a while that she has had bad dreams every night since her grandpas died two years ago and I don't know how to help her!

My Dad and my husband's dad died within 8 months of each other and it was a difficult time all round. Especially as my Dad was in intensive care for some time and it disrupted our family as I home late after visiting him in the hospital. Telling my daughter he'd died was the worst experience. I know I was depressed for some time and I wonder if that affected her.

I read to her every night and we cuddle and chat on her bed. I suggest sweet things to think about (kittens, cottages with roses round the door, bunny rabbits, whatever), but nothing seems to work.

She occasionally wakes in the night and comes in for a cuddle, but has no problem going back to her own bed, so I don't see at as a sleep avoidance strategy, and she has said it consistently for some time.

Should I ask her more about the dreams? I tend to think it's best not to dwell on them so I let her tell me and leave it at that.

Any ideas?

Candycharm Mon 03-Nov-14 22:44:21

It sounds like you've had a very difficult time! I'm no expert by any means and not sure what you have and haven't tried but have a few ideas....
So maybe talking about it would help because then she perhaps wouldn't be thinking about it so much before bed. Obviously she's probably expecting the dream when she sleeps so then is thinking about it before sleeping and subsequently dreaming about it. So maybe you could talk to her or get her to write a diary where she gets her feelings out.

The other things I would suggest would be to help her relax before bed. Things such as some warm milk before bed and maybe some lavender on her pillow or something calming.

Eventually though you'd imagine it would have to stop at some point.

AJ65 Tue 04-Nov-14 10:30:47

Thanks Candycharm. Had a bit of a chat with my husband about it last night and we realised that actually very few dreams are 'good' as they are mostly about your unconscious trying to sort things out and this morning I had a good chat with my daughter about dreams and the dream she told me about was confusing, but not scary, and it kind of made her laugh when she was telling me about it. So I'm going to count that as progress.

Candycharm Tue 04-Nov-14 18:10:19

Glad to hear you've made some progress!

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