Sleep consultant recs?(15 Posts)
At my wits end. Couldn't bear pu/pd, and at 3 months, in need of help desperately. Has anyone used a sleep consultant? Were they good? What issues did you have them for? Thanks!
Given the age of your baby and the details you gave in your other post, I don't think you need a sleep consultant. It sounds like maybe what you want is a maternity nurse to get you into a routine for all sleeps and naps? She is still very tiny. I think most sleep consultants are generally for older babies/children who have embedded problems?
3 month old babies are not often the best sleepers.
I doubt a sleep consultant whatever that is would help.
My lovely; if your baby is only 3 months old then they're not going to sleep through the night, or indeed a lot. I don't know how much they're awake but every 90 mins at night is not unusual.
Do you have a DH / DP who can help?
I think, from her other thread, the OP's main issue is that her baby won't sleep without being held. And held absolutely still (i.e. the OP can't even shift position to sip her water or turn a page in the magazine). It sounds to me like she might need someone working with her to gently introduce new sleep associations (sling, buggy, whatever). .
Ah, I see
Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? If you're breastfeeding will they feed to sleep (I did this and my DS just grew out of needing it in the end)? Can you feed lying down so they feed to sleep and then co-sleep? I was quite adamant I wouldn't co-sleep with DS and I ended up going with whatever got us through the night! I'm now 36 weeks with number 2 and am Fully expecting to co-sleep with them, especially if it means we get more sleep. There are lots of guidelines on safe co-sleeping around.
If you're bottle feeding is there anyone you can split the night with so you at least get a block of sleep?
Where do you live? Have you tried any local childrens centres, some may run 'sleep easy' sessions.
I know this as I'm using one. London borough of Lambeth. She's a reg nurse/HV/early years coordinator and I see her once a week, 1 to 1 sessions (well with my daughter).
3 months is really tiny, she could quite easily change next week!
My daughter was a great sleeper, used to suck her thumb but stopped at 4 months, had a dummy but refused after a cold, fed to sleep though then boooom! Turned into your worst nightmare at 8 months old....
We're only just coming out the other side and she's 13months, I fully expect more changes too.
I think you may need to lower your expectations of her, she will change, but I sincerely do understand your frustrations.
My 3 month old was exactly the same - I would spend hours pinned to the sofa absolutely still with him napping on me 4 or 5 times a day it was very restrictive.
He's 5 months now and sleeps in his cot day and night, goes down awake and self settles like a champ - hang on in there!
Op here. Thanks all, will see what children's centre has.
Penguins is right, it's about daytime sleep. For whatever reason (circadian rhythms? The dark? Pixies??!) I can move her at night - between 10 and 4 I'm usually ok to get her in the crib, so long as I wait 20 mins, and then she'll sleep for a couple of hours, which I totally accept, although of course would prefer more ;) - but her daytime sleep is so shallow I literally cannot even reposition her now, let alone get her in a sling, pass to someone else - which i used to be able to do - or put her down. I'm holding her sitting down for hours a day, including all evening up to at least 10.
I breastfeed, pottering, which is what got me here in the first place, because I foolishly bf her to sleep and now she won't take any other way without a massive screaming fit. If someone else walks her, yes, she'll eventually pass out after crying, but then they have to sit with her instead (if they're lucky enough to occasionally manage to sit down without waking her)!
Strollers and the car are in reality a sort of cry it out, because she'll be happy in them until they make her tired, then she'll cry due to lack of boob to get her to sleep, until she exhausts herself. And then as soon as you stop moving... She wakes! I have tried bf to sleep lying down, but she wakes within 20 mins even if I don't move her, which is why pu/pd just was so horrid for us; if you get over the pain barrier and she falls asleep, you're back where you started 20 mins later when she wakes up realising she's not being held!
I dread the day the night magic doesn't work and I only get 20 mins instead of a couple of hours relief, so I'm desperate to do something!!
Thanks for all suggestions; all gratefully received!
I'd look for a maternity nurse who could probably establish a routine in a couple of weeks.
I don't do sleep deprivation either & just coping is too rubbish. I understand your pain.
I had success with putting ds down, letting him cry for 3-5 minutes then going in & using shhh-pat. I don't think it's a technique per say but it worked.
Nothing wrong with getting help if you can. Newborns are supposed to be a team effort & we have a lack of support in our Western society.
Have you considered or ruled out silent reflux?
Mine didn't have it but my friends baby was very hard to settle, diagnosed SR and possibly CMPI.
Could explain the day/nap behaviour.
I really do sympathise, sleep deprivation is another kind hell.
I don't think a sleep consultant would do anything you can't get for free by reading MN freds and some external sources. If you don't want to pay out, don't.
Does she have a dummy?
Found the Nuk ones were a good shape & didn't cause any pro deity breastfeeding.
Dummy was a lifesaver with a non settling DS at similar age.
I used a lovely woman, Sian at www.sleepbabies.co.uk
She more me my little one was 4 months old but would not recommend not feeding at night but she helped me establish a routine and I certainly had better sleep. When she was 6 months old, she provided another sleep plan to stop feeding at night, it took two weeks but now successfully sleeps through- unless unwell. Really helpful for me
I really feel for you. My littlest was the same and it was really really hard. I do agree that a sleep consultant probably can't tell you anything you don't know, but might be able to hold your hand through it all if you get the right one. Also agree that a maternity nurse might be a better bet still at this stage.
If you don't find the right sleep consultant you could give this a go. It simulates the mother's heartbeat and the position that you hold the baby in. The tricky bit is transferring the baby onto it. I had to sort of cuddle her into it very gradually.
It is so hard when your baby is like this. Sleep has continued to be an issue for us but it has got better and I now have a very loving, very confident three year old.
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