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Want/need to stop co sleeping and feeding to sleep

(13 Posts)
Missfrumpsalot Mon 24-Mar-14 13:38:55

My dd is coming up for 6mths and is my world. We've co slept from birth as she hated her moses basket and DH and I couldn't bear to hear her cry. So she came in with us, first sleeping on my chest and now starfish in the middle of the bed. She's always fed to sleep and no amount of rocking or shhh'ing has ever worked. We're at the stage where, our backs are killing us, I'm going back to work in 6 weeks and we feel we need our bed back!

I've managed to get her to nap in her cot (which is in our room by my side) twice but no luck at bedtime. I have to feed and then wait until she's quite deeply asleep then try to manoeuvre her into her cot.

I really don't want to leave her to cry, but nursery will not be able to bf her to sleep and she's going to need a nap while she's there.

Has anyone got any ideas or tips to make the transition easier?

Thanks

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs Mon 24-Mar-14 13:44:20

I wouldn't worry about when she's at nursery - I had only ever fed to sleep, or rocked (read: very energetically swung baby around the room for about 20 mins) and yet the nursery staff seem to manage it with a but of a cuddle and a pat on the back.
DS is so tired out at nursery anyway, and he sees the other babies in their cots, he seems to loose all fight.
Can't advise you about the co-sleeping thing but good luck!

elliebe13 Mon 24-Mar-14 13:48:43

With cosleeping could you try taking the side off the cot and having it right next to your bed? It's called sidecarring. Feed her to sleep in a sleeping bag and then when she's deeply asleep transfer her? That's what we do with my 5 month old son.

elliebe13 Mon 24-Mar-14 13:49:30

Oh and don't worry about nursery, my son will nap for everybody but me!! Once you're not there and not an option it's different.

Missfrumpsalot Mon 24-Mar-14 13:51:58

Glad to hear that the nursery may have special powers. We started to settle in last week ( not a great success but we'll keep trying)
Our cot doesn't have the side off option but will try a sleeping bag perhaps.

She went down awake a few moments ago. Currently singing to herself....

Twitteroo Mon 24-Mar-14 15:51:56

We are in exactly the same boat! My son hated the Moses basket and ended up sleeping on me. We bought a crib which attaches onto the side of our bed and at a push, he will now spend half the night there. Like you, my son will breastfed himself to sleep then wake the moment i try to put him down. I cannot imagine him sleeping all night in a cot! I am hoping that he sleeps more deeply when I start him on baby rice next month. Could you perhaps put your cot next to the bed so that the baby feels near you? Sorry it's not great advice; I am also struggling to figure out what to do. My son is asleep on me as I write, and you guessed it, he fed himself to sleep...

mummyoffive1983 Mon 24-Mar-14 16:06:28

I think some babies are just more reliant on sleep feeds than others. I only got my dd off breastfeeding back to sleep after arrival of new baby when I could stand it no more. She still sleeps with bottle I even breastfed her in labour!
On other hsnd ny baby gave up breastfeeding in the night himself and even refused bottles at 10 months. Unfortunately he still wakes up just not for feeds!

Missfrumpsalot Mon 24-Mar-14 18:29:12

I think I'm going to keep trying, I feel terrible every time I put her down and she cries. Teething too and nursery soon. Makes me feel like I'm a terrible mum!

NickyEds Tue 25-Mar-14 12:24:47

You're not a terrible Mum!! When DS was born he wouldn't go into his moses- very common with newborns I think- but I just couldn't get my head around co-sleeping at all. We literally slept in shifts for about 10 days!- In the end we would feed DS to sleep and put him in moses- he'd last a few minutes then cry so we'd take him out and let him sleep on one of us for around 90 mins then put him back into the moses. This was usually 15mins before a feed so hed wake up and be ready to feed. Eventually the times in the moses lengthened and just met in the middle!!
I'd try waiting until she's asleep and putting her in her cot and if she really cries put her back with you. Then if dd wakes up at say 6.30 set an alarm for 6.15 and move her into her cot then. That way she could get used to waking up in her cot if nothing else????? Then lengthen the times- might be rubbish having to wake up to move her but it worked for my sister.

As for the feeding to sleep-not sure what to do about that- My DS feeds to sleep at night and I'd have to wake him in order for him so self settle and it'll be a cold day in hell that I wake a sleeping baby at 10 at night!! Nursery will know what to do.

Estrellita Tue 25-Mar-14 14:02:00

I had a restless sleeper, and opted to do whatever worked as forcing the issue through sleep training was just too exhausting and traumatic. And ineffective. And stressing about it just made me more miserable. When DD was a year she would do the first half of the night in her cot and then come in to co sleep for the inevitable 2, 3, 4, o clock wake ups. We got a king size bed at IKEA, with a low frame so she could easily climb in and out. Bliss. Plenty of room for everyone to stretch out. I started doing pilates for my back, which had suffered from a difficult pregnancy and a year of co sleeping in crappy double bed. DD has just turned 2 and finally sleeps through most nights in her own room, so DH and I enjoy the lovely bed. She still comes in occasionally if she wakes early. And we have a nice cuddle and a bit more sleep.

Missfrumpsalot Wed 26-Mar-14 15:20:59

Thanks for advice, no nap in cot today. Far too upset when put down... Even though she'd been asleep for 20mins. I'm just going to go with it and enjoy the cuddles. Who needs sleep anyway!

NickyEds Wed 26-Mar-14 17:32:38

Sleep's over rated!!!!! I'm sure she'll get there in her own time!- They rule the roost really- or is that just mine?

BocaDeTrucha Wed 26-Mar-14 21:15:57

Our ds only naps in his pushchair, doesn't need to be out for a walk but when I see the signs he's sleepy I put him in his pushchair reclining right back and with a few pushes in the chair he's usually turning his head and nodding off.

Like you in hoping nursery just have the knack when it comes to getting him to sleep in a cot!

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