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Staunch cot refuser.

(10 Posts)
PrincessChick Thu 20-Mar-14 23:34:56

We fell into co sleeping around the 3 month mark. DD (9 months) is now only happy to nap and sleep in our bed. I'm pretty much a hostage during the day and also from early evening until she decides to wake in the morning. She is a good sleeper with this arrangement, so it's hard to muster the enthusiasm to change and I hate seeing her upset when I know there's another way where she is blissfully happy. She will also nap in her buggy, car seat and sling but not as peacefully or for as long as in our bed. She's generally asleep between 8pm waking for feeds (but not crying and going straight back to sleep) at 12, 3, 5, sometimes 7, waking for the day between 8 and 9. She also bf's a lot in the day and feeds to sleep for naps. I'm starting the 'Pantley Pulloff' at night and she'll go to sleep without a nipple in her mouth after the 3rd or 4th pull off, with no fussing. But only in our bed. To be frank, I've had enough of her in our bed. I need some time away from her and some time with DH. She screams and cries and fusses terribly in her cot at bed / nap time and is visibly relieved when I take her to our bed. It's driving me nuts! I've managed to get her to nap once in her cot by feeding her through the bars in desperation blush. Tonight we've put her cot mattress on our floor next to the bed, I snuggled up and fed her with pillows from our bed, her teddy and a muslin we've had in with us to 'scent' for a couple of days and still no joy. Just a very excited baby keen to explore. Result: over stimulated and not asleep until 11. Now on the boob after a sleep grizzle. hmm. Anyone have any tips to get their co-sleeper into their own bed?

Poshers Fri 21-Mar-14 09:08:40

Keen to follow

LilacBreastedRoller Sun 23-Mar-14 08:32:02

I could have written this. I really hope someone can help!

PrincessChick Sun 23-Mar-14 20:49:51

I'm glad I'm not the only one. We're wondering if we just scrap the cot altogether and get a bed for her bedroom that we put on the floor. And then at least I can fit in the bed with her for naps and get her used to her own bed and room. Expensive though and complete waste of a really lovely cot bed and mattress...

So, here's where we got to. Friday she managed to start her naps on her mattress but was having none of it in the evening. Took her into bed and she was asleep in 10 minutes. No fussing. Plus 3 x pp's. Yesterday and today we've been out and about so naps in the sling / car seat. I'm going to try and start her off on her mattress tonight but I'm not hopeful.

In other news, she took herself off the boob to go to sleep last night and was awake less in the night. So that feels like a small amount of progress at least.

akuabadoll Mon 24-Mar-14 06:25:06

Hi Princess wink both of mine were cot sleepers from the get go (one great sleeper, one rubbish) was I'm not in the best place to comment, perhaps, but I have an observation..

When you say you are a hostage for naps and bedtime do you mean that you are stuck in the house because that's where she needs to nap/sleep or that you are actually in bed with her? What I'm wondering is, if it's the later perhaps bed to cot is missing the point a little? She knows how to sleep with you more than in your bed right? Less the location than the company (therefore a bed with you in her room may just move the issue to another room?). My guess (sorry) its a pretty big deal for her to change this way of sleeping, and so may be hard going. Hope an experienced co-sleeper comes along with reports of spontaneous easy transitions. I believe this happens but perhaps a question of the timeframe? Good luck.

neontetra Mon 24-Mar-14 06:34:07

I used to feed dd to sleep in my bed until she was properly asleep, then carry her through to her cot. No problems. At about 20 months she learned to go to sleep in the cot on her own without feeding. No sleep training necessary, just a natural progression.

PrincessChick Mon 24-Mar-14 09:21:06

I'm hostage in that I can't leave her on the bed because she's fallen off twice. I used to be able to leave her until she could move. And doll mr p says I have to be more patient and that it will happen over time if we're persistent.

I've also tried to move her when she's asleep but she's having none of it. Maybe she's not in a deep enough sleep though. I might try this again at nap time today.

This is entirely my fault, I know, I should have persisted when she was tiny. It's just that things went so much more smoothly and life just easier to get her to sleep, and stay asleep, in our bed.

akuabadoll Mon 24-Mar-14 10:05:42

Ahhh I see. Don't regret the choices you made, there are plenty of sleep issues and no guarantees with anything you do. <weak smile>

neontetra Mon 24-Mar-14 22:50:53

I used to wait till about 8-10 mins after she seemed to have fallen asleep before moving her. I would sort of lift her arm up first, and if it was floppy I knew she was in a really deep sleep!

Don't panic, often these issues either resolve themselves as baby grows, or only take a few nights to solve. I thought it would be a nightmare getting my daughter to go to sleep without feeding, but it happened with no trouble whatsoever!

Heyfrankie Sat 29-Mar-14 16:52:08

Wow, this is exactly my situation too, to the letter (so I'm no help, really am I?). I'm going to try putting her cot mattress on the floor and sleeping on another mattress next to it. Also thinking of transforming the cot into a bed sooner rather than later, as a bed is what she's used to... And it might be easier to transfer her to it asleep? I don't hold out much hope though. Good luck! I'm keeping fingers crossed you find something that works for you.

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