...and what worked for us. Warning - contains CC.(16 Posts)
DS woke every 20/45 mins from 2.5 months to 5.5 months (with occasional 1 or 2 hour stretches, very occasionally more, but only if he was sleeping on me or DH.) Then after 5.5 months, he woke every 1-3 hours through the night. Was BF/cuddled/patted to sleep - basically, anything we could do to sleep. He had never once settled himself to sleep, since birth.
This was a pretty horrific time for us as I am sure anyone reading these sleep boards will recognise.
He now sleeps 7 til dreamfeed at 11, then again til 7ish. He is 8.5 months. (I am aware this may change but he has slept through a cough and cutting four teeth, so he is a star and is doing brilliantly.)
What we did:
1. at 6months - into cot in own room
2. introduced a dreamfeed at 11 (even if he had just woken up and been settled again)
3. did 6 weeks of No Cry Sleep Solution techniques: mainly gently pulling him off the boob before he was asleep, trying to get him to settle in cot with pats and in-cot cuddles, giving him a cuddly toy for his cot, sticking to strict bedtime routine
4. then, let him learn to settle himself to sleep through controlled crying as recommended/described in the sleep association section in the Ferber book, 'Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems'
It was the CC that had the miraculous effect.
With the CC:
- we waited until he was sleeping as well as he was ever going to - ie no teeth, no cold etc
- it coincided with him learning to roll back to front, so he flipped himself onto his tummy and now that's his sleep position
- we knew we needed to solve a defined sleep problem, ie that DS could not self-settle
I was dreading doing CC and I found it a very difficult decision to make. Am happy to answer any questions about how it all panned out. Really recommend the Ferber book.
We did CC as well. It works for some children, others just get hysterical so it's horses for courses.
Anyway my children seem unscathed by the experience although I am sure many people will come along to tell you about attachment, how they would do it etc etc
I really hope we haven't got to the point on mumsnet where we have to warn our more...ahem...sensitive posters that an op 'contains CC'
Marking place as interested to see this discussion.
I agree OP you have to figure out what is working for you DC. DD is 9 months, like you we did / are doing a combo if approaches. Co sleeping worked really well for us, though we are now moving away from it. No cry sleep solutions, especially learning to fall asleep off the boob, is good. Have also more recently done cc (never a longer return time than 5 mins, usually under 3 mins) as sometimes I feel (I, especially as milky mamma) are not helping by staying / holding her. Works well, usually settling her in a couple I returns. But using judgement. Last night I did stay and soothe/ feed her down as her teeth were bothering her a lot and she seemed in pain.
I be interested to know from long term cosleepers how you handle your DC being able to move around as they grow up? Especially When they are in bed without you (earlier bedtime or, In our case, mornings)?
we usually cosleep the last part of the night and I like the mix - it's a good way to get time together now I'm back at work. But I need to I get up before she does and now she can crawl, stand up, I don't feel it's safe to leave her sleeping in bed alone when I need to get up, but If I try to move her back into her cot she wakes....
OhGood firstly you are very brave putting a pro CC post on MN, just wait til the anti CC brigade come along with their words of wisdom
We too did CC with DD when she was 7months, we were at the end of our tethers and basically had very little sleep for those 7months other than the odd night she stayed with GP's. It was the most difficult thing as a parent I've ever had to do, but it was worth it for DD and for us, as since she has slept 12hrs a night and goes to bed no bother.
I read Ferber too and I think his technique can be tailored to what you're comfortable with, we never let her cry longer than 15mins before going in and built that up from 2mins, at 2min intervals.
We now have DS 51/2months and I feel we may need to do a bit of CC again as he cannot settle himself either and I am currently surviving on a few hours broken sleep every night and copious amounts of strong coffee in the daylight hours!
Exactly Jay - we started at 30 secs and didn't go longer than 8 minutes.
The only thing about DS sleeping is that I am terrified about the possibility of this ending - just so don't want to end up back in that horrible place. Feel for you!
Well DD is nearly 2 and touch wood she's been a wee star when it comes to sleeping (actually physical finding some wood now to touch).
We are going with the gentle approach with DS at the mo a shhhhhh pat kinda thing, he's getting it at bedtime I just had to stand by the cot tonight after putting him down awake, it took 15mins but he did go to sleep. He uses a dummy at the mo and this has become my nemesis!! He wakes through the night so we have to go put the dummy in. So I fear going cold turkey with the dummy is the only answer.
I was at a baby class today and spoke to 3 different mothers with LO's between 5-7months and guess what?! ALL sleeping 12hours a night Just me who can't get a baby to sleep then?
Nah, everyone lies about their 'sleepy' babies. It's a conspiracy
Any advice re the pinky?
Should I just not give her it at all, or should I give her it to calm her down but not let her fall asleep with it?
She's teething (again) and grinds her teeth on my pinky - it's very sore x
Hi, my daughter has just turned 1 and after a year of disturbed sleep & expecting baby no 2 in just 3months I have finally decided to give CC a go! So far Im impressed by the technique, I have a few issues though and just curious to get some advice on this?... Occasionally she had been making herself sick when she's being left to cry is this common? And secondly is it normal for them to fill their nappy down to distress? Usually she wouldn't fill her nappy through the night but since starting CC for over a week now we've been changing 1-2 dirty nappies a night and Im putting it down to her being a little stressed out with the change of her usual bedtime routine, any advice on this would be great. Thanks
I am now wondering if I do cc without realising I don't get DD the moment she starts crying, naps or at night. She can go a few minutes either because I want to see if she'll go back to sleep or I'm
Busy with something. For those saying they went in in 3 minute intervals reckon I leave it quite a bit longer than that depending on the situation.
She's only 3 months and there is no issue- she sometimes self settles sometimes doesn't, we don't really mind. Or is it not cc because there is no consistency?
If you are doing a sleep training technique that is causing your child to vomit and fill their nappy due to distress, surely it signifies your child isn't coping so well with it and may be time to rethink?! CC doesn't suit all children, there are gentler technically you can try to encourage your child to sleep better.
Dougal Long-term co-sleeper here (through necessity, not choice - it's co-sleep or no-sleep around here). I've got bed guards on both sides of my double bed. When I'm out of the room, I put a monitor pretty much by DS2's head and at the slightest peep or change in breathing pattern I'm back in like a shot.
Ideally, you should just have a double mattress on the floor so that a mobile baby can get off safely when you're not in with them, but my life is disrupted enough by my children's awful sleep without also having to dismantle my bed.
Tried CC many times with DS1. Made his sleep a little bit worse pretty much every time I tried it (and yes, I was very consistent before anyone speculates otherwise). It isn't the magic cure for all children that it's made out to be.
You might kick yourself for this post OP. You've got a way to go before the three to four year mark when sleeping patterns finally settle and mature. 12-24 months may be a bitch for you and you may yet join us unwilling co-sleepers railing at the world and missing our husbands.
The sickness stopped within the first few days I was just wondering as it was very concerning at the time & would just like to see if their are other mams who experienced this. I have thought about stopping the technique but when I've done some research online it says it's all common and the first week is the hardest to overcome. But I can see the improvements which is why I've kept it up, she's went from crying for 30mins (me checking in on her every 5 mins or so) to falling asleep within 5mins. She's slowly learning that sleep is good for her and I won't jump as soon as she wants to be up anymore which after a year of doing so and only having 2-3hrs decent sleep a night I think it's the right step for me to fix a very bad bed time routine which we fell in to. I won't lie though it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do but she has come to no harm we play and laugh all day and she's learning night time is for sleeping.
Cc fine until they start pulling themselves up, getting worked up and then falling back and hurting themselves!!
Join the discussion
Please login first.