Bedtime routine for 10 week old velcro baby??

[Swannykazoo]

Hi - looking for some advice. My LO is a velcro baby - will wake when put in bednest/moses basket even if seeming to be deeply asleep. Naps need sling/pram/car during the day, and he wakes if car/pram stop moving. Still BFing to sleep at night and sleeps beside me initially but later feeds and tends to only settle on my chest. Didn't get on well with swaddling and not very comfy swaddling when co-sleeping (increased overlaying risk) though would love him to sleep in the bednest. Can't seem to rock him to sleep - it seems to over stimulate him. Same with pat-shush.

At the minute he's hard work in the evenings - grumpy/fussing/clusterfeeding and will drop off quickly when we go to bed at about ten/half ten. Reading posts here, everyone and their baby seems to have a bedtime routine at 6/7pm and I'm really worried I'm doing something wrong. My LO is not keen on baths, they tend to lead to crying so we do them in the daytime. (Used to scream even when we undressed his lower half for a nappy change though this has got better recently)

Anyone any suggestions for when we should think about an evening routine? Also how does one manage this if the baby won't settle in a moses basket? There are certainly times I'd like to go to bed at 7:30pm but not sure it'll do much for DH & I.

[plantsitter]

Who on mumsnet has a 6/7pm bedtime routine for their 10 week old??? I think, in the nicest possible way, you are imagining them.

It sounds to me like you're doing everything right - maybe in a few weeks start some kind of loose routine when you'd like the baby to go to bed (ours includes bath but I guess yours might just be a song and pajamas or something) and take it from there. But there's no reason and no point in trying to make a 10 week old have a bedtime routine they stick to imo.

[blackteaplease]

With my first dc I tried to implement a routine at about 10 weeks because I thought I should. She was a complete velcro baby and it just didn't work, I would end up upstairs rocking, singing and feeding her for hours. Dh would end up taking her for a drive and it was all so stressful.

With ds, we popped him in the pram to sleep in the same room as us and took him up to bed when we went up, much easier all round.

I guess what I am trying to say is that your ds is tiny, evening fussiness is usual and you have plenty of time to bring a bedtime routine in at a later date. Try it if you want to, but don't worry if it doesn't work.

Oh and if you need to go to bed at 7.30 for a couple of nights, do it.

[Turtlesmum]

I had two DC's who had bedtime routines at 10 weeks. That was the way they were. Feed at 5.30, bath and another feed at 7 for DS1. Similar for DS2 although he's not so keen on baths. It suited them as much as it suited us. Sometimes it all goes wrong but it is mostly ok. DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 7 months. DS1 had no interest in a dummy but DS2 was/is extremely sucky. He goes to sleep with his dummy although less and less now. It helped him settle when NOTHING else would. I am sure it breaks all the rules but for DS2 it works.

[BrianButterfield]

I have an 11-week-old - we have a 'household' routine but not one for her especially. By that I mean older DS is in bed by 8, so after that I twnd to keep her upstairs - I'm happy to watch TV/read/MN in bed from then on really. She'll usually have a couple of feeds and doze either on one of us if we've missed cuddles that day or in her basket. It's around this time she gets her sleep suit on. By 10.30/11 we will be off to sleep ourselves - she has a last feed if awake or I just let her sleep. But this is her own routine - all we do is try to create a quiet bedtime atmosphere. (We do eat a family dinner early too. I remember trying to keep to a grownup dinner time with DS and it never worked).

[Turtlesmum]

Sorry, I meant to say DS2 was a bit like your LO and it's a matter of figuring out what works for them and you. What suits one LO won't suit another. Is your baby too big for the Moses basket? Mine were almost too big from birth. Try a sleeping bag if swaddling not working. DS1 loved his swaddle, DS2 was out of it in 3 weeks and into a sleeping bag. Like everything it's trial and error. Good luck and trust what feels right for you and LO.

[Swannykazoo]

Cheers all -maybe it is just mama paranoia that everyone else in the world has a nice early baby bedtime. I suspect its the combination between people on my antenatal thread reporting sleep much improved for younger babies, and my real world antenatal group meet-up today where it seemed like everybody else's kipped in their car seat. I am not going to read anymore parenting books either - even NCSS emphasises how babies MUST have a bedtime routine as the first thing
I think I probably just need to chill and make like blacktea
repeating to self "I'm not making a rod for my back I'm doing what works for us"

[HaveYouTriedARewardChart]

I would only add -if it feels like hard work don't do it! Relaxing is the most important thing - in my case and I bet many others dc2 was soooo much easier cause we weren't trying to do things that didn't come naturally and stressing about things. And fell into a natural routine very easily.

Good luck!

[HaveYouTriedARewardChart]

I would only add -if it feels like hard work don't do it! Relaxing is the most important thing - in my case and I bet many others dc2 was soooo much easier cause we weren't trying to do things that didn't come naturally and stressing about things. And fell into a natural routine very easily.

Good luck!

[Swannykazoo]

That's good advice too thanks reward Usually I'm fairly relaxed but every so often I fret a wee bit, then start reading/googling, fretting some more, cue panic "I'll be slinging him to sleep when he's 18" megafret followed by sensible MN reassurance

[WillSingForCake]

Who on mumsnet has a 6/7pm bedtime routine for their 10 week old???

I did! Started around week 6, after realising her evening fussiness was mainly due to her being tired. At around 6.30pm I'd do a bath, then a long bf in the dark, then into her cot. Would then do a dreamfeed when I went to bed around 10.30pm. Worked well for us, DD's now 2.5 and has had a similar bedtime routine ever since (minus the dreamfeed & long bf!).

I appreciate all babies are different though - just takes trial & error to work out what's best for yours.

[plantsitter]

Yes obviously you are not just figments of the op's imagination. I was trying to be bossily nice! Hey ho.

[Swannykazoo]

I needed bossily nice - thanks plant

[Morningwobbles]

Do not give up! DS was a velcro baby then suddenly one day he was happy to be left on his baby gym for 20 minutes, and went to sleep in a cot (I tried it without hope as previously he had screamed the house down). He is now 10 weeks and usually asleep by 7.30. I miss him a bit in the evenings now!

[EeyoreIsh]

I've got a Velcro baby too. She's 5 weeks, and loves to sleep in the sling or on us. We've managed to get her to sleep in the cot at night when swaddled, but she just won't go down for daytime sleeps.

I'm going to keep trying to put her down on the day, on the play mat or in the carrycot. I don't know if it will work but I have to keep trying.

I do love her sleeping on me though!

[HaveYouTriedARewardChart]

Puggle love the idea of you slinging your child to sleep