22 month old will not settle

[Andymac1978]

Good evening, I'm new here and I don't understand all the acronyms, so this may be a little more wordy than most.

I have two children, one of nearly 4 and the other nearly 2.

The eldest goes up to bed at 7pm and after teeth, 2 stories and a hug settles to sleep herself.

The youngest goes up at 7pm, teeth, 2 stories, cuddle then refuses to go into her cot, and me or my wife then have her laying on our lap wriggling about, throwing toys etc. in pitch darkness for anything from 30 minutes to 2 hours. She writhes and wriggles and occasionally wants to go into her cot-bed, but can't settle in there herself and screams to come out "up" is the phrase here.

Sometimes, of she has missed her nap in the day, this process can be over in 10 minutes.
But more often than not. An hour is about average.

Now, I can't function like this any more. It has been 6 months with no significant improvement in bedtime routine since she stopped being breast fed to sleep at night (She self weaned) My wife and I take it in turns, one puts eldest to bed, the other youngest. And swap day over day.

My wife stance is that she refuses to allow the little one to cry because she gets windy and this extends the pain further, and it is a requirement that any unhappiness on babes behalf must be remedied instantly. I work long hours and I am often home just in time to start this process. It is now 8.55 and my wife is still in with my daughter trying to get her to sleep. I asked for a reprieve at 8.40.

This is destroying my relationship with my daughter as I am starting to resent bedtimes with her, and knowing it is my turn fills me with dread, I find myself trying to find reasons to stay at work later to avoid it.

Any advice?

Ta

Andy.

[McPheezingMyButtOff]

Turn the cot in to a bed

Fix a stairgate to her door

Sounds to me like she needs to come out. Even if she falls asleep on the floor, it really doesn't matter.

[TerrifiedMothertobe]

Let her cry. She's old enough to work it out and work on
You guys, sorry, tough love. Good luck.