21mo started waking in the night - what do you do?

[sharond101]

Since just before Christmas DS has gone downhill in the sleep department. It started off early wakening now it's escalated to waking in the night sometimes with early waking too. Last night he was up for 2.5hours and since DH has back issues he doesn't feel able to assist in the night so it's me all the time and I am so grumpy from being up every night. I don't go in unless he cries (which he always does). I then tuck him in and leave the room. I do this several times. SOme night it works most it doesn't. Last night I tried offering him water, he refused it. I put his mobile on and he watched it for forty five minutes, screaming as soon as I went to leave the room. I lay on the floor beside his cot but he was upset at this too. He had me stroking his face for an hour and still didn't fall back asleep. I was so tired and grouchy by this point I gave in and took him to the spare room where he cuddled up to me and went to sleep then woke at 7am. He was grumpy all morning until his nap. He goes down at 7.30pm and falls asleep immediately. Naps from 12.30 and I wake him at 2pm. He isn't hungry as I have tried giving him supper and that made no difference. He isn't always up as long as last night but he is up every night.

[Purplehonesty]

So is my dd - exactly the same age.
She slept really well until just before Xmas and now wakes every night around 1am and won't settle unless I take her in beside me.
She had a chef infection which kicked all this off as she was really poorly and slept with me for a week or so. Now she refuses to stay in her bed. She won't go down for a nap on her own and cried at bedtime even.
We are waiting until this lot of teeth come through and then going with the controlled crying. We did this with ds, going in after 2,4,8 minutes and it worked in around three nights. Tiring tho when you already are seriously lacking sleep but a necessity I fear.
Could you try this?
You go in and settle them, say its night time, go to sleep etc an then leave the room a d wait two mins. Repeat and double the length of time you wait before going back in until they fall asleep.
I remember it took ds something like 40 minutes the first night, 20 the second, 3 the third and on the fourth night he didn't wake.

[Purplehonesty]

Chef infection? *chest

[sharond101]

It's looking like that might be my only option but I am not cut out to hear him cry. It's not that he cannot self settle either, he goes down for his nap and at bedtime awake so he can do it.