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3 year old visiting us two or three times every night

(14 Posts)
Sleeppurleeze Sun 16-Feb-14 06:58:08

As the title says, our 3 year old is waking and coming up to us multiple times every night. She doesn't appear to be upset or scared. She often has some pretext, usually her duvet has come off, but just as frequently she 'wants to ask a question' (which she randomly thinks of, such as why do we have walls), or she wants us to pick a teddy up... She generally just needs tucking in and a kiss and then goes back to sleep by herself. But it's still waking me three times from deep sleep for no apparent reason. We also have an 18 month old who has only just started sleeping through.

I should maybe add that our 3yo was a terrible sleeper till 13 months, but since then has slept well till a couple of months ago.

Any ideas about if there's anything we could do would really be appreciated.

Sleeppurleeze Mon 17-Feb-14 14:29:19


Has anyone had any success with sticker charts / rewards in this situation?

Should I push it and try and tell her not to get up, or just go with it and support her emotionally? Feel torn

cluxy Mon 17-Feb-14 16:43:00

I don't have any advice, as dealing with the same, so am feeling your pain - my 2.5 year old is waking in the night, but unlike your DD, there's no amount of bribery that will get him into bed - I put him back, he comes straight back in my room, over and over and over and over again! I've tried sticker charts (although I understand he may be slightly too young to fully get what I'm raving on about!), they haven't really worked - our Gro Clock has arrived in the post today on the recommendation of friends, so we'll be trying that this week.
I hope someone comes along with some advice for you soon (so that I can try it too!).

ListenToTheLady Mon 17-Feb-14 16:48:15

Sticker charts have helped a bit with our DD – she sometimes manages a full night on her own now, though we still get some visits. We tried to get through to her that she should not yell the house down calling for us in the middle of the night and wake up the neighbours. So now she comes through instead and politely asks to be tucked in grin

She gets a sticker on the chart for a full night without unnecessary visits (obviously we have made it clear she can yell/come through in an emergency!), and a reward (something small like a magazine) when she's got about 10 stickers. She needs a lot of reminding about it though.

I do feel your pain <yaaaaaaawn>

TheScience Mon 17-Feb-14 16:50:41

Gro-clock, bribery, and actually I would be quite cross about being woken in the night for no reason.

BetterWithCheese Mon 17-Feb-14 16:59:45

We've done gro-clock, sticker charts, threats and bribery and our three year ons ends up in our bed most nights. We have a 7 week old so it's now DH dealing with our son and he seems less consistent about returning DS to his own bed which isn't helping. Sorry not a lot of help but lots of sympathy.

Sleeppurleeze Tue 18-Feb-14 20:15:02

Thanks everyone. It's useful to hear what other people are doing.

Yes, listen, we have same thing with DD politely coming in and asking, as we didn't want her shouting waking up her brother.
Cluxy, I know I'm lucky that she does usually go back to sleep. I feel your pain.
Thanks Science, for relieving my guilt about feeling cross!

We tried bribery now and promised a new hairband (the best thing DD could think of) if she sleeps through the night. I guess sticker charts will follow after the initial (hopefully) success.

TheGreatHunt Tue 18-Feb-14 20:17:26

Maybe she's scared but can not articulate it. Our ds would wake in the night - we ended up putting him in with his sister for company. We also slept in his room. At 4 he doesn't do it now except for nightmares.

cluxy Thu 20-Feb-14 06:20:51

Our gro clock arrived the other day - the first night he was up a couple of times but luckily straight back into bed, then up at 5.45 which was an improvement. Last night he slept right through, but up at 5 - so another slight improvement I guess - we're going to persevere for a bit - and PILs are having him on Saturday night, so at least I will get a lie in on Sunday past the crack of dawn!

harverina Sat 22-Feb-14 08:47:44

Gro clock worked amazingly well for us with dd1 who was 2 years 9 months at the time.

Cluxy - you could try setting the gro clock for just before 5am, then give loads of praise when he gets up when the clock is this for a few days then gradually make the clock a little later. Even 5/10minutes every few days. Hopefully the praise and possible treats will work to keep him in bed?

Gro clocks won't work if we set them too late - dh sets dd's for 8 at the weekend and she just can't sleep that late so it's a waste of time.

CountingSleep Sun 23-Feb-14 17:21:40

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cluxy Sun 23-Feb-14 21:34:42

Thanks both, will try all your tips.

I just dread night times so much now, it's just taken me 2 hours to get him to bed, and I'm not entirely convinced he's actually asleep yet - and I'm sure he'll either be in in the night, or at 5am.

Thanks again

HoneyDragon Sun 23-Feb-14 21:38:55

Stickers etc failed me.

I finally found success with cold hard cash grin

She has a special bedtime piggy bank next to her bed, and each entire night spent in bed results in silver coin in the morning.

Worked though grin

canyourearme Sun 23-Feb-14 21:40:42

Pop her in your bed. Happt days.

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