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Co-sleeping - how co is co?

(20 Posts)
RebeccaJames Thu 13-Feb-14 21:40:25

My 10-week-old is in the bed with me (poor DH banished for the time being) and the sleep is appalling. When people say they co-sleep, what precisely do they mean?

The baby is in a Poddle Pod (shaped pillow with a dip in it) next to me, so that he can't roll suddenly and I can't roll onto him by accident.

I'm wondering whether this constitutes co-sleeping. People have said co-sleeping helps sleep, but do they mean keeping contact with the baby or is what I doing co-sleeping too? If it is, what is it about sleeping this way that is supposed to help Baby sleep, and how is it actually different for him from sleeping in his own room?


TheScience Thu 13-Feb-14 21:44:26

I just had the baby next to me, he mostly slept on his side or back at nipple level and I would sleep on my side with one leg at right angles underneath him and an arm over the top. This also meant I could sleep through night feeds grin

I don't know if having the baby in a shaped pillow is much different from having them in a basket next to the bed, but it isn't the same as having the baby in a separate room - that isn't advised until 6 months as the baby needs to hear you breathing etc to stop them falling into too deep a sleep and to stimulate them to keep breathing (SIDS risk).

TheScience Thu 13-Feb-14 21:47:04

Is the Poddle Pod designed for overnight sleeping?

cupoftchai Thu 13-Feb-14 21:49:31

I don't think there is a right way to do anything in this parenting lark! Just finding ways of making it work for u and your family.
Co-sleeping for us was baby dd lying on bed beside me in breast feeding position, me on my side, arm curled round her. Duvet tucked down between my knees so I was half covered but dd couldn't end up under it. I wore cardigan, she had her own little blanket. If he started off night in own cot she might be in baby sleeping bag but I would take that off in our bed.
As she got bigger I relaxed about the duvet and she might sleep between us sometimes.
But to answer your main point, dd was in physical contact and that seemed to be the only way she would reliably settle. I would be able to sneak away if she were fully asleep!

RebeccaJames Thu 13-Feb-14 21:50:33

Halfway through the night I do get desperate and breastfeed lying down but he just wriggles on the breast, drums his feet and makes grunty noises, which drives me absolutely bats! So I guess we have tried co-sleeping proper instead of co-sleeping lite :-(. Doesn't make a difference to DS, then.

cupoftchai Thu 13-Feb-14 21:56:22

Not heard of poddle pod. We were aiming to keep to guidelines about flat, firm mattress and no pillows etc, is a shaped pillow really ok for that? If u worried about baby falling out of bed u could put something against it, we had dd's otherwise almost completely unused cot jammed against the side of the bed but really she only wanted to snuggle against me. Little heat seeking missile, I called her :-)

cupoftchai Thu 13-Feb-14 22:00:26

Hey at least if u have to find other ways of helping sleep now, it might mean u won't have a terrible fight to get him out of your bed in a year's time! Silver linings...
Am a bit surprised that bfeeding lying down isn't a complete sleep inducer though. What does he do towards end of that feed?

RebeccaJames Thu 13-Feb-14 22:07:49

He just squirms on the boob after the first wake-up and it can take an hour or more before he falls asleep. And I wouldn't call it a feed as he doesn't really drink. It is mysterious because he never does that during the day!

cupoftchai Thu 13-Feb-14 22:51:46

Hmm. That is a bit mysterious. Is the latch good when lying down?

TheABC Thu 13-Feb-14 23:02:14

He might be too hot - your body heat, plus whatever he has on may make him restless. I know getting the temp right for DS in our room is absolutely key to a good night's sleep. We do a form of co sleeping, with DS's cot joined to our bed. On really bad nights, it's skin to skin sleeping - anything to get him settled!

RebeccaJames Thu 13-Feb-14 23:11:03

cupofchai the latch is good, yes. I cannot imagine what the issue is, although temperature is something to keep in mind...

theabc, how do you manage covers when you sleep skin to skin, in winter?

Ruralninja Thu 13-Feb-14 23:18:24

We co-sleep now & again....when doing so my dd, now 12 weeks, sleeps on my chest (ensuring asleep limbs for me, if nothing else). only next to me under duvet for post 6 am snoozes. I try to keep it cool in the room so we both don't get sweaty.

snowqu33n Fri 14-Feb-14 09:36:21

We sleep adjacently, rather than co-sleep. We are on futons on the floor and DS has a baby futon next to ours. Its traditional here in Japan and meets safe sleeping guidelines AFAIK.

cupoftchai Fri 14-Feb-14 20:50:35

How is it going? Could u try a lying down feed some other time c what his response to it is then? I seem to recalling had to teach dd how to feed that way, did it v early to relieve sore nips ok to spread the pain!
R u getting much sleep at all?

RebeccaJames Sat 15-Feb-14 07:09:59

It's going badly (see my other post about disappearing to a hotel tonight). Still on 5-6 wake-ups a night. And he is content on the boob lying down at other times, so it is very mysterious.

RebeccaJames Sat 15-Feb-14 08:02:31

It's going badly (see my other post about disappearing to a hotel tonight). Still on 5-6 wake-ups a night. And he is content on the boob lying down at other times, so it is very mysterious.

darjeelingdarling Sat 15-Feb-14 10:16:08

it's really hard but I'm afraid very normal.

if I were to do it again I would cosleep from the start and, if #2 is anything like ds, have lo on my chest, me slightly propped up. like 'biological nursing.' however I found my section very difficult to recover from and was terrified about doing anything like that because of sids etc. I would be more confident next time. but that's just me.

darjeelingdarling Sat 15-Feb-14 10:26:27

sorry, reading more of your replies ds was like that.

he seemed to struggle with wind and often found it hard to lie flat esp at night. in the early morning he'd get upset unless he was sleeping upright on one of us.

he had a posterior tongue tie which we got snipped - this helped a bit but he definitely had some reflux too which got worse around 4 months. we had to lie down to feed for months in the day. And some nights I'm afraid I had to prop him right upright on a pillow - a wedge didn't cut it. he also has a high palette. things improved a lot after 5 months.

if I were doing it again I'd definitely cosleep (I think he got overly anxious as a little one plus difficult preg and birth) and I'd definitely do a proper baby massage course and do more of it. I'd possibly also consider helping him tummy sleep earlier but probably on me. he likes that the most now!

a tummy massage sorted him out at 3am this morning (he's 14 mo) and I was never firm enough when he was a wee one.

but, it takes a lot of confidence to do this.

darjeelingdarling Sat 15-Feb-14 10:28:07

only other possibility is teeth!

AntoinetteCosway Sat 15-Feb-14 10:53:38

I wanted to co sleep and tried it but couldn't make myself stay in one position all night and was petrified of rolling onto DD so barely slept. I know people who do it really successfully though. Part of me wonders if it's a personality thing-maybe I was just too nervous! I did have PTSD.

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