Help with starting PUPD, does anyone want to join me?

[KikiShack]

DD is 18 weeks, I think we are out of 4 month sleep regression (she started nice and early at 11 weeks, was horrible for 3, good for 1, then horrible for 2 and now I think better. However DP was away for the last few days and I buckled and basically co-slept and cuddled her sleeping for all naps so I think she's completely lost all the progress we'd made over the last 10+ weeks. I'm very upset with myself and feeling a bit hopeless about it all.
We were waiting till about 4 months to try PUPD, so I guess now is as good a time as any. DP is taking a week off work so we can do this together which I hope will give it a better chance of working.
So my questoons are:

• Do you just start using it one day and apply it to all naps as well as bedtime?
  
• How long counts as a nap - i.e. if DD sleeps for 20 mins then wakes do we use it again to make her sleep longer? 40 mins? an hour? I can imagine I'm going to spend the first few days permanently doing the pupd as she sleeps 10 mins so I try and extend and this in turn takes an hour. Hmmm.
  
• How does it work for naps outside the house, i.e. in the buggy/car/sling?
  
  Any tips from others who have done this or read lots about it would be very welcome indeed. I'm nervous about starting this but really can't cope with the chaotic changeable days any longer, I need to get DD into some kind of routine so I can start living my life again.
  
  If anyone has strong opinions why this is a bad idea I'm also very happy to hear these explained - I'm not dead set that I'm doing this. It's just my best idea at the moment. However please be gentle with me rather than flaming, I've spent the morning in tears and really can't cope with internet people telling me I'm pathetic and weak and should just put up with no sleep to save DD tears. If you want to say this please try and put it in a kinder way

[KikiShack]

bumpy bump

[KikiShack]

Can anyone help? Does anyone want to join in?
On a separate note I never seem to get many replies on mn so if anyone can tell me what's so offensive about my post please do and I'll try and avoid doing it in future...

[TomDaleysTrunks]

Don't think you are doing anything wrong, I'm just not sure how much traffic this topic gets. Maybe trying posting in parenting?

I haven't done PUPD so I'm no use to you. Good luck, hope you get some kip tonight.

[Justgotosleepnow]

I think some babies are rubbish at sleeping!
Our sleep story- first 6 weeks every 2 hrs some 3 or 4 hr stints. Exhausting.
At week 6 went to a party came home at midnight & she slept til 6!
Slept 10 to 6am for 8 weeks.

Then for 10 weeks she was up every 90 mins/ 2 hrs. I collapsed & husband said either leave her to cry (I couldn't) or co sleep. So co slept for 16 weeks with varying success.

Now she is back in her room & I've night weaned her. That is going well. And it seems every little fart wakes her. Grrrr.

I struggle with leaving a baby to cry- they are crying because they need you to help them with something. If you leave them they feel like they have been abandoned.

So luckily the night weaning started the very day my DD got object permanence. This was very important to me- I knew that she knew even if I wasn't in the room I was there for her.

I know how devastatingly awful sleep deprivation is, and you have to do whatever is right for your family.

But on the other hand I think 4m is too young to be left to cry. It's just really, really difficult.

Every night I just hope she sleeps!

[hotcrossbun83]

I'll join you! Ds is only 2 months but I'm going to start working on his self settling - he has a cold so as soon as that's over. I'm def not going to let him cry at the moment, too young, but work on pupd and shhh pat. Currently he will only fall asleep in arms and we gave to ninja move him into the crib, the slightest wrong move and he wakes. Not too bad at night as he now settles quite quickly but same as you got naps, he wakes constantly!

I have had a few moments of hope - sometimes when I put him in the pram to go out he falls asleep before I move the pram (while I'm getting ready) so that isn't the rocking motion doing it. And on Sunday he woke me with chat at 6.30, he seemed happy so I thought I'd leave him for a bit, next thing I knew it was 7.45. There's no way he spent all that time awake without waking me again,most he must have gone back to sleep.

My friend has recommended for naps - put them in crib and stay nearby folding laundry, tidying etc. if they grumble then ssh pat or pick up if needed, put them back down again when settled. My problem us consistency, the thought of doing it for every nap is exhausting! I thought I could do it for morning nap and lunchtime one if at home (often out in pram), but for pm nap allow him to still be on me as it's a really quick nap so I doubt he'd be asleep before it was time to get up, and I don't think I can give up all the cuddles. Will that work?

[KikiShack]

Thanks for the replies trunks and just, you made me feel less like the unpopular kid at school.

Buns Great!! DD is a lot older than your DS but it sounds like we have similar sleep stuff at the moment. I too sometimes get sleep in the cot by accident, it's amazing. I've worked out that DD can stay awake for 2 hours between naps, and if I have her nicely well fed by about 90 mins in, then take her for a 15 min walk in the sling, she stays awake but gets really calm. When I get in if I place her in her cot (still in her snowsuit, just unzip it and remove hat) and stay nearby as you say then she drifts off after a few minutes. I am going to try and do this for her catnap at 5.15ish from now on.

Though why I can't ger her to the same calm state without a little walk I don't know. Again I've done it by accident a few times, including once at 4am (ace!) but even though I try it every day or two it never seems to work after a feed, so I feed her into a coma then do the ninja move.

How does sssh pat work for you? It works for us sometimes, but DD has to be in the right state - it's good for middle of the night wakes, but not evening go-to-fucking-sleep situations. I find it very tricky rolling DD from her side onto her back once she's sleeping, is it crucial to roll her? I'm tempted to get a wedge pillow.

Anyone else with any useful tips / no tips at all who wants to join in please feel free xx

[EmmaLL25]

I think whether it works will depend on your baby. We tried at 5 months and gave up after one awful attempt of hysterical crying. But lots of other people have great results.

I think consistency is important. So I would try it for all sleeps for at least 4/5 days then you're probably safe to
go back to pram naps here and there when its convenient.

I was never sure with these things when to feed on wake ups and when not to. Lot of folk use the 3hr rule overnight - so less than 3 hrs no feed, more than offer.

Good luck with it.