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does anyone have a good positive co-sleeping/extended breastfeeding story that might make me feel better?

(15 Posts)
Twobusyboys Wed 12-Feb-14 15:55:58

Ds2 has ended up co sleeping with me most of the night and still bf during the night. He is almost 2 now. I am fairly relaxed about the situation but was finding myself getting tired. So started a process of trying to gradually encourage him to fall asleep without feeding and sleepung in his own bed. It was a very gentle process. I still gave him bedtime feed just stopped feed before he fell asleep. After a couple of nights of improvement in his sleep we really had a bad night last night. I am finding the whole thing more tiring than just doing what we were doing before. And last night i got back in bed with him just to get some sleep and it was fab to actually catch up on sleep!

I cant decide if the wait til they are ready approach is actually easier all round.

Has anyone done this and can you make me feel better?

TerrariaMum Wed 12-Feb-14 16:03:25

OK, I will try. First, the good, DD1 is 3 now and sleeps in her own room and her own bed.

I tried getting her to sleep in her own bed when she turned 2 and I was pg with DD2. She was the same as your DS. I fell asleep with her in her room in her bed and then when I woke would leave and go back to my room. In fact, I'd fallen asleep with her the night I went into labour with DD2 smile.

There were a few bad nights, but now DH puts her to bed and she generally sleeps through.

does that help at all?

Twobusyboys Wed 12-Feb-14 16:40:25

Thanks. That makes me feel better. I feel like a bit of a useless mummy. Cos he isnt into any sort of nighttime routine. Wondering when it will improve!

TerrariaMum Wed 12-Feb-14 16:44:49

Gradually. It sounds as though you are just starting this, is that right?

Twobusyboys Wed 12-Feb-14 16:48:03

Yes. We have ended up in this situation through a number of reasons. He didnt gain weight well but refused bottles and also refused much food til about 12 months. So i let him feed as much as he wanted. The through various viruses and holidays getting in the way i have just gone with the flow. Suddenly i have realised he is almost 2!
He did actually ask for dh at one point last night and fellaslepp as dh cuddled him. So i may be able to start sending dh in occasionally whih might reduce the feeding.

TerrariaMum Wed 12-Feb-14 16:59:05

Similar for us. I think, really, keep doing what makes you feel comfortable. If your DS is like my DD, it will take a few months.

Encourage your DH to take over bedtime gradually too. It is nice for DD1 and my DH to have a time for them.

Twobusyboys Wed 12-Feb-14 17:04:43

Thanks very much. I keep reminding myself its a phase that will pass. He a really happy little soul so also hoping all my efforts are helping him be so content in the day.

TerrariaMum Wed 12-Feb-14 17:09:53

Of course they are. Besides, sleepy toddler snuggles can be lovely for everyone smile.

Wisteria36 Wed 12-Feb-14 20:28:23

Ds1 is now 4.6 and has been sleeping through in his own bed since last summer, though it was more recently that he started putting himself to sleep. We tried when he was smaller but somehow after work when I got tired in the evenings I found it easier to just go with the flow. We kept the bedside cot attached to our bed to make more space and that helped. Ds2 arrived a few weeks ago and is now using the bedside cot instead- I'd expected ds1 to regress and come back to our bed but he has been great so he must have been really ready to do his own thing. I will see how ds2 gets on as he's a different character but if we end out co-sleeping long term I don't mind.

glorious Wed 12-Feb-14 20:42:24

My DD is only just 1 but I've just given up with trying to get her in the cot with all four sides. She does self settle now which I did by keeping her awake for as long as she wanted to feed rather than cutting short the feed before she slept iyswim.

But it made no difference to night wakings so watching with interest and hope!

Twobusyboys Thu 13-Feb-14 11:57:06

Thanks for the replies. We were back to our old ways last night co sleeping. Which allowed me to get a bit of sleep. Will tackle it all again when i have summoned the energy! Hoping maybe for some more posts of other people who've older dc have outgrown it and now sleeping well.

worldgonecrazy Thu 13-Feb-14 12:03:35

We are still cosleeping (DD is 4) because we love it. As both me and DH work full-full time it gives us an opportunity to spend time snuggled together as a family.

But the real bonus is that our DD knows what a weekend lie-in means, so that on our days off, instead of getting up at 5.00 a.m. I get to sleep in until 8 or 9. We have never been woken at 6.00 a.m. by a child who needs amusing or feeding. Bliss!

One holiday we went back to bed after breakfast and all slept until midday - something I have never heard of from parents who don't cosleep.

Liveinthepresent Fri 14-Feb-14 18:32:02

I know this is about a younger baby but its a pretty good way of looking at your parenting choices ...
Found on another thread but cheered me up no end when I was feeling particularly exhausted.

Broodzilla Fri 14-Feb-14 18:57:46

DS coslept from the start. A few futile attempts at getting him to sleep in a baby hammock, or the sidecar cot... He made it clear he'd prefer cosleeping, so we did.

He was a terrible sleeper. Terrible. He'd wake every 45 minutes, and scream. Cosleeping was the only way for me to get any sleep at all. Lots of people blamed cosleeping for the problems. When he was 3(!!) finally had his toncils and adenoids out, his sleep improved overnight. Really, like a miracle, it was.

It turned out he'd had sleep apnea, so that screaming was him panicking about not getting air. Of course, we had three years worth of habits to break, but a year later - he sleeps in his own bed, in his own room and pretty much always sleeps through.

He was ready when he was able and ready.

There were so many times when people tutted about rods and backs, sometimes I doubted... But turns out we hadn't ruined him wink

DD just turned 2. She has her own room, with her own bed, ready an waiting. She's very excited and sometimes tries it out - but says she wants to sleep with me anyway.

Any day now, she'll move to her room, and when she does, I'll know she's ready. I don't doubt "the system". grin

Twobusyboys Sat 15-Feb-14 12:16:54

Thanks for the new replies. I liked the articles in the link from livinginthepresent. Wio should be seen as more of a normal thing to do really. You do need a lot of patience though. I have spent the last few nights whispering gentle stories while i cuddle him til he falls asleep!

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