DS is almost 10 months old. He has always been a very happy velcro baby. He never cries so long as he is being cuddled. Night was ok as I'd cuddle him to sleep then put him down. He woke a couple of time earlier in the night but a quick cuddle would have him back to sleep in no time.
The last few weeks have been hell though. He wakes up as soon as he makes contact with the cot mattress and cries until I pick him up. He wants to be held by mummy all night. In desperation for sleep I've taken him into bed with me but this means I don't sleep at all as I can't move which makes my chronic back pain even worse.
I'm at breaking point. Last night I put him in his cot and got into bed despite his crying and cried myself. In the end DH got up with him but he cried all night until DH left for work at 5.00, at which point I picked him up and he stopped crying immediately. That's the really hard bit, he's sobbing his heart out because he just wants his mummy, but mummy can't go on like this.
I feel totally lost and don't know how to change this
That sounds really hard - and knackering for you. Does the side of the cot come off, so you could push it up against the bed (if of course there's room)? That might allow you a bit of space while keeping you close enough for him to feel happy.