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Help - feed to sleep not bloody working!

(10 Posts)
Phalarope Mon 03-Feb-14 18:06:59

I wouldn't mind feeding to sleep if it worked, but last night it took an hour and a quarter for DD to drop off on the boob; the night before an hour and three quarters. She is 17 weeks and we aim (unsuccessfully) to have her asleep for the night an hour and a half after her last nap - roughly any time between seven and half eight. She has a bath, which she loves, then into the bedroom for a lying-down feed to sleep. We start this routine in good time, but the feed to sleep never takes less than 45 minutes and is driving me mad - I don't get to see DP, eat a proper tea or have custody of my nipples. Is there a better way to get her to sleep for the night? Or actually is this just how long it takes? She's mostly comfort sucking not swallowing, but delatching her sends her into a flappy rage.

I don't feed to sleep during the day - she is rocked to sleep with much resistant grizzling (which is getting worse), or marched out for a brisk walk in the pram or sling. I do this after about 90 minutes awake, and she never sleeps longer than 30 minutes. She definitely needs all the naps, though.

I'm reluctant to rock her to sleep for the night because of the grizzling - it feels like a miserable note to end her day on. I do keep hopefully putting her in the sidecar cot to self-settle, but I just get a crying overtired baby. I feel like I'm spending all day getting her to sleep, and I end up going to bed when she does as I'm knackered from all the walking and rocking. She's not a great sleeper at night, but I can live with that if I could just have a bit of the day without a baby stuck to me.

Please reassure me that either the epic feed-to-sleep is normal and will get better, or tell me what I'm doing wrong!

keepitgoing Mon 03-Feb-14 18:53:22

I don't know. 12 weeks here. we do 90 mons between naps, though same ptobs as you (she won't go in cot), but longer from last nap to bed, up yo 2.5 hours. I feed before the bath, then after it isn't more than 30 mins. could you try a bit longer before bed maybe?

keepitgoing Mon 03-Feb-14 18:56:59

oh yes and the last two weeks I put her down 90% asleep. usually works, sometimes takes a couple of goes. one day I got tired of rocking, put her down and she didn't cry, can take up to 40 mins though till she's asleep, as she wakes up when I put her down

Margetts Mon 03-Feb-14 19:15:04

I got my children to sleep by playing music. I would put them down to sleep while awake and switch music on, they soon understood that music meant sleep.

Phalarope Tue 04-Feb-14 09:05:56

Thanks Keepitgoing - I'll try stretching her last awake time tonight. I've been trying to keep it short in fear of overtiredness but maybe she's just not tired enough. Took under an hour last night so comparatively ok. We are doing the drowsy-but-awake thing but yes, sometimes it works, sometimes it's just 'awake'...
Margetts, that's a good idea - she currently gets the same song sung to her for every sleep (which is useful for changing the words to communicate with DP...) but might try a CD.

nibbysmum Tue 04-Feb-14 10:08:37

My son's 17 weeks and his last nap is between 2.30 and 3pm. It usually lasts till half four ish. We begin the bedtime routine 1.5hrs after waking but I know for a fact he wouldn't sleep if we aimed to actually have him in bed 1.5hrs after waking. For us, at 17 Weeks he's getting to stage where he can go 3hrs between sleeps (sometimes less with his day naps though) . I don't know if I'm actually helping in anyway but our routine takes 1.5hrs start to finish (Bath, changed, into sleep bag and then a drowsy feed). Without fail its always bang on 3hrs since he woke from his nap that he drifts off at night. I do enjoy the night routine though as he loves his Bath and looks so sweet as he dozes off! Its defo calmest part of our day (most of the time!!!)

workingtitle Tue 04-Feb-14 16:05:07

17 week DS here... I feed to sleep and it's definitely got quicker since I started three weeks ago. I'm down to 20 mins ish now (from one hour plus). I force DS to nap after max two hours awake but that's becoming more of a struggle--he's a crap sleeper.
For the nights, bed time is between 7 and half past but generally nearer 7. I find he is REALLY tired between his last nap and bed so sometimes it's only an hour gap. Could you try a more fixed bedtime. Say 7, to give you some predictability? The other things we do that currently seem to help are a bath before bed where he really lets out any last bits of energy, then straight into nightime clothes and sleeping bag, feeding on the bed with lights out and Ewan the dream sheep on. Ewan def helps and the noise helps me to creep out of the room unnoticed (I leave DS on the bed asleep and transfer to cosleeper later).

Oh and I try and get a power nap in while feeding him to sleep.

lanbro Tue 04-Feb-14 16:14:30

What about trying a white noise app? My 20wk dd2 goes to sleep herself with one on, I just pop her down awake and she's asleep within a few minutes!

Phalarope Tue 04-Feb-14 19:25:32

Er, world record ten minutes tonight - bit unexpected after a day of virtually no naps and a round of vaccinations. Probably can't ask for daily immunisation, can I...
Lots of good advice to experiment with - thank you.

workingtitle Wed 05-Feb-14 09:45:16

Good work, I hope he was settled through the night too. I have been known to say to my DH that I wish we could take DS for jabs evey day. Bad sleepers drive you crazy.

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