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Surely 21-month-old DS should have cracked this sleeping malarkey by now...???

(14 Posts)
RainbowBob Sun 17-Nov-13 23:46:59

DC3 is a delight during the day but a terror at night! After trying literally every sleep method going, including attending a Sleep Clinic, I still cannot get him to sleep through the night.

Basically, he goes off to sleep no problem at all at 7pm but wakes at some point between 9 and midnight. He then usually wakes a couple more times after this. Sometimes he'll go back to sleep after a quick cuddle, other times he might take as long as two hours to settle... We just never know what to expect.

Have considered teething, but since he wakes almost every night, of every week, of every month I am not sure the teeth are always the problem. Controlled crying did not work... And, yes, I am doing it right as it worked for DCs 1 and 2.

We have had nights where he has slept through. And once or twice we have had a four or five-day stint of all-night sleeping, so I know he's capable of it. However, just when we think we've cracked it, he'll revert to type.

I am at the end of my tether and my relationship with DH is really suffering because of the problem as we are always ratty through sleep deprivation! I don't have the energy for any of my DCs during the day either.

Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do?

Jiltedjohnsjulie Sun 17-Nov-13 23:49:53

Yes I've had this problem and can truly sympathise, and no, cc didn't work for us either.

Just wondered if he's been checked for tongue tie as I'm sure this affected my DSs sleep.

RainbowBob Sun 17-Nov-13 23:57:51

Thank you for your reply and sorry to hear you've been in the same boa. I had not even considered tongue tie! What is it?

Jiltedjohnsjulie Mon 18-Nov-13 00:03:46

There some info on it here. Most of the symptoms relate to bfing babies but if you had trouble bfing, he has a lot of wind and he had trouble starting solids (my DS couldn't cope with lumps at all until he was about 9 months), I'd get it checked out.

RainbowBob Mon 18-Nov-13 13:06:11

Thank you Jilted. I have checked out the link, and I do not think this is the problem. DS didn't have any problems with feeding - quite the opposite, in fact! And I can't see anything to suggest he is tongue tied - but I really appreciate your response! Just knowing someone is listening makes a huge difference thanks

Jiltedjohnsjulie Mon 18-Nov-13 13:15:56

Hope you find the answer soon. Have you read the no cry sleep solution for toddlers?

stuffedcrusty Mon 18-Nov-13 13:16:19

You have my sympathies. I was about to pose a similar question. I have similar troubles with DS2 who has just turned two. I am at my wits' end. He will no longer nap in the day (but he definitely still needs it as he is an absolute eye-drooping, manic head-spinning monster all afternoon as he's so tired). Come bedtime, he will either go to sleep immediately or he'll be so wired it'll take hours. He'll usually wake before midnight, which will then be the start of very regular wakings through the whole night. sad
I just don't know what to do. I am so miserable because I'm just so exhausted. He's a live wire all day and a nightmare all night.
DS1 started sleeping through regularly by about 18 months, so I guess I had an expectation of something similar with DS2 but he sleeps (ha!) worse now than he ever has.
I am sorry that I've been of no help to you, but just want you to know that you're not alone...

Jiltedjohnsjulie Mon 18-Nov-13 13:23:28

stuffed are you able to take him into your bed for a nap or will he sleep in the car? My dd went through a spare of nap refusal at this age but I could usually get her off with one of those 2 things, especially if she'd had a busy morning and a big lunch smile

stuffedcrusty Mon 18-Nov-13 13:32:10

Hi jilted, no sadly DS2 never falls asleep in the car, ever. I can't get my bedroom dark enough in the day, so we sit in his room which is blacked-out. I'll nurse him, get him sleepy, then as soon as I go to leave he's wide awake and very very cross. When DH is here to keep an eye on DS2 (who is 3), I can sit with DS2 for an hour, and he just won't fall asleep.

stuffedcrusty Mon 18-Nov-13 13:33:07

Sorry, meant keep an eye on DS1

Jiltedjohnsjulie Mon 18-Nov-13 13:53:11

That must be so tough. There are some good suggestion here. Hope one of them helps smile

tobiasfunke Mon 18-Nov-13 14:17:57

We had one of those. He woke at twice a night if not more and once he was wide awake he was awake for exactly 1 hour 50 minutes - you could set your watch by it. He didn't sleep much during the day and basically took one 20 minute nap during the day from he was 6 weeks until he was 22 months. Wouldn't sleep in the car and basically had to be walked for about an hour before he would fall asleep. He also woke early and went to bed late- he just didn't need much sleep.

At 16 months we had had enough so in the end we bought a double bed for his room and at the first peep one of us would go in take him from the cot get into the double bed which had bed guards and he was in his sleeping bag. Then go back to sleep. After a few weeks or so this stopped him from wakening more than once per night and if you got in early enough he would go back to sleep. This continued until he was 2.4 when suddenly he just started sleeping through. From then on he's been a fab sleeper. I think he just had to break the habit.
We tried everything before that including a bit of cc or in his case controlled shouting. Thing was he didn't need much sleep so going back to sleep wasn't really an option as far as he was concerned or he would make himself vomit. My MIL kept saying we were making a rod for our own backs but really we had to do something to make life more manageable and it worked for us.
I feel for you it is really awful - I still feel a bit ill when I remember how exhausted I was.

Suchanamateur Mon 18-Nov-13 14:23:04

More sympathy and empathy from me but I'm afraid no suggestions. DD (DC2) 21 months and all over the place. CC worked for her when she was a bit younger but not now. And she won't fall asleep apart from in cot in darkened room.

What time is your nap RainbowBob? And what time were you trying stuffedcrusty? We've just recently pushed it forward to 1 from 12ish (which is pretty late given how early DD often gets up, and much later than DS until he was pretty much dropping it) and DD is falling asleep within seconds, rather than crazy faffing. Pity the same isn't true of bedtime.

I don't know about you guys, but I feel more resentful as DD isn't my first. (a) I feel like I should know vaguely what I'm doing and (b) I've DS to look after too (hats off to you Rainbow for having to deal with 3 - totally beyond me).

RainbowBob Mon 18-Nov-13 21:17:26

Hello all, thanks for your replies - it's great to know I have your sympathy, but I am sorry to hear some of you are suffering too. It's crap, isn't it?

Jilted, no I have not tried the No Cry Sleep Solution! Just checked it out on Amazon - does it work?

Suchanamateur, DC usually has a nap at about 10.30am and it tends to last for about one hour to 90 minutes. He is exhausted by this time, and actually asks me sometimes for a "nap". I have tried cutting out the nap, but this makes no difference to the night sleeping. In fact, if anything, it makes it worse.

Stuffed, so sorry to hear about your sleeping problem! I know what you mean about exhaustion making you miserable - it's horrible. And I look a complete wreck - I didn't need a costume this hallowe'en, that's for sure. I don't know about you, but I just wish I could find the cause of the issue and then I could at least deal with it. DC is talking a bit now and will try to tell me what is wrong but last night he complained of something different each time I went in. First he wanted his bear, then was complaining his head was too close to the headboard(!!), then he wanted a drink.... So I am starting to wonder if he's just having me on!

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