Help- 12mo- so fed up

[okthen]

I'm at the point where I feel I'm actually going to go mad.

DS turns one next week. His sleep has, on the whole, been crap, though he has slept through a handful of times which has given me false hope.

His latest pattern is to wake up at a random time in the night, and half-heartedly cry and whinge for 1-2 hours.

Calpol, bonjela, even a breastfeed (occasionally and resentfully given, and which he hardly takes, as he's virtually weaned)- nothing will settle him. If we go in to him he calms down but then wants to play, and this carries on for ages until he eventually drops off with a hand on him.

Last night, with an ill 3yo to deal with and utterly exhausted, we just left him to it eventually, and he dropped off after a good while of carrying on. He wasn't and doesn't cry in an urgent/v upset way, it is just a sort of monotonous bellow, with long pauses which lull us into a false sense of security.

Tonight he woke at 8.15 and is still going. I'm doing controlled crying, popping in every few minutes, but tbh that just seems to rev him up.

I've no idea what to do. Don't want to co sleep and he wouldn't sleep anyway.

I am just so sick and tired of hearing the sound of him crying at night. He is wonderfully happy, bright and gorgeous in the day. But his night time antics are making me feel I cannot cope. My sleep feels so eroded, dp helps but we get tense with each other about it, dd gets woken up, it's just miserable. He is nearly one! He surely, surely should be sleeping better by now So fed up.

(Sorry about random sentence below, flipping iPad won't let me delete it)
Right now I am doing controlled crying. Going in every few minutes.

[MNPlovespumpkincarving]

He could be warming himself with his antics.

Try adding a layer and see what happens.

24 yrs of baby caring has shown that they feel a few degrees difference much more than we do.

[TinyDynamite]

I hear you OP - sleeplessness is pants for everyone.

That's a really interesting suggestion MNP - our DS (9m) has been having a few nights of poor sleeping since the temperature dropped. It's hard to get it right re. layers, grobags, etc. I think we need to invest in a good room thermometer.

[BotBotticelli]

I think that if when you left him alone last night he eventually managed to grizzle/pickle himself off to sleep (ie without becoming hysterical) then maybe the best idea is to ignore him?? perhaps if he learns he is not getting any attention from thinking that it's 'playtime' maybe he will stop doing it?

Not suggesting that you leave him to cry if he is hysterical and upset (and agree that if he does get upset then some sort of CC where you return freuently to shhh pat and reassure is probably a good idea). But if he is just boogling about in his cot then hopefully he will get bored and give up after a couple of nights?

Also what are his naps like during the day? Does he still have 2? Might be time to se if he's ready to drop down to one, making sure he's nice and knackered by bedtime??

[MNPlovespumpkincarving]

Current 12m wears, long sleeved vest, 2 piece pjs, socks and 2.5 tog sac with doubled cellular blanket in a 22' room and since i moved from sleeveless vest to sleeved she has stopped repeatedly waking.

[okthen]

Excellent thought re warmth! His hands do feel cold in the night/morning.

And also re ignoring. We actually did that last night when he woke at 3.30am- he was shouting but not upset iyswim- and he settled himself after about ten mins. It was hard- but it worked...