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8mo won't settle for dh, help!

(6 Posts)
TheNaughtySausage Wed 09-Oct-13 10:11:40

I'm not sure if this is in the right place as it's feeding related too.

I have an 8mo dd. She's been ebf and now we're well into weaning, but she's a bit of a milk monster and doesn't eat that much during the day. We're doing a mix of puree, mashed, and finger foods.

She's always fed to sleep which I am happy to do as it only takes about twenty minutes max now. She'll then stir about 30-40 minutes late and will go back down very quickly with just a cuddle. Then we don't hear from her til her 2am feed, again just feed and then straight back down. Occasionally she will stir but self settle, occasionally will need a cuddle but this is usually teeth related. She'll then sleep til 7am and then happily burble away to herself til I go in.

So far so good. She is fab and I know other mums would give anything for such a routine.

But - and it's a big but - this only happens if I'm doing the settling. She will not settle for dh at all. Like last night when she stirred, he went up to resettle and she went into meltdown, I went in and she was asleep within three minutes of me taking her. Dh is upset that she won't settle for him and I am getting worried because I'm going back to work after Christmas and this will involve me doing late shifts from 2pm til 10pm. So DH will be doing bedtime on his own.

What can we do to get dd to settle for dh? Should I try giving her her bedtime feed from a cup? She's never taken a bottle. Should dh just persevere? Any and all advice is welcome. Thank you!

TheNaughtySausage Tue 15-Oct-13 22:12:50


48th Tue 15-Oct-13 22:15:54

I don't think it matters so much what you do he has to find what works for him. My dh had always had to work to find ways to settle our ebf babies too and he always got there but they both needed to get used to the change.

spacegirl81 Tue 15-Oct-13 22:21:25

My DS2 is like this, has been since birth and is still now at 12 months! It can be very tough on us as it's relentless especially if they wake often during the night. I'm lucky that he sleeps through now (unless he's teething) but will only settle for me confused he does get a bit easier though, is she bf during the day too? Could you express and DH offer a bottle, could he do bath time so he can have his bonding time? I bf (still am with DS2) both of mine which left little for DH to do, so he does lots of nappy changes and has always done bathtime. He now settles DS1 whilst I do DS2. She just needs to learn she's ok with DH too, could they have some time on their own and you have some me time? Sorry I know that doesn't seem that helpful but it is normal! And it will get easier! grin

TheNaughtySausage Tue 15-Oct-13 22:38:04

Thanks for the replies. Dh does bathtime already (straight from coming in from a full day at work, what a trooper) so they do have that time together. I tend to stay out of the way while they do that, then once she is ready for bed I take her up and feed her to sleep. Maybe we'll try an expressed feed so he continues bathtime into bedtime. Looks like he's going to have to just persevere!

spacegirl81 Wed 16-Oct-13 20:23:01

I think so confused good luck grin

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