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Please tell me that this will pass... and soon.

(22 Posts)
SummerSevern Fri 20-Sep-13 09:35:55

DD's sleep, never brilliant, has descended into chaos. We had a particular low on Tuesday night, when I got 2 hrs sleep.
In desperation we tried putting her in her own room the next night. But she cried for 2 hours.
Then we discovered that she'll go 9-5 between feeds if she sleeps next to me on the bed. But she's so fidgity 5hat this only works if I pin her down hold her hands. So I've done that for the last two nights and got 4 hours sleep.
She wont nap for any length of time in the day, either. She's too fidgity and wakes herself up. Her deep sleep only lasts 5-10 mins.
I've tried leaving her with my DH and sleeping in a different room but I can't sleep - I can't seem to stop listening out for her.
Please tell me that this is a phase that passes. Is it normal to only be getting 2 hours sleep a night?
I feel like I'm starting to lose it.

Gab3478 Fri 20-Sep-13 09:45:51

Stay strong! How old is she?

SummerSevern Fri 20-Sep-13 10:08:45

She's 9 weeks. I know everyone's going to tell me that she's still so young and lack of sleep is normal. I've just really struggled the last few days. There are people in my baby group who have 4 week olds that sttn. I'm so jealous I could scream at them!
I feel like I'm not enjoying my baby because I'm so tired.

SlightlyItchyBraStrap Fri 20-Sep-13 10:15:13

Tiredness is the worst. Have you tried swaddling her at night and wearing her during the day? My 4 month old takes most naps in a stretchy wrap similar to the Moby. he sleeps hours like that, but only 20 minutes or so otherwise.

SummerSevern Fri 20-Sep-13 11:08:27

I have got a stretchy wrap. I haven't used it much though. I find I have to catch her in the right mood to do it otherwise she just fidgets and scratches me. I think I'll give it more of a go though. Does your DS wake up ok in his wrap? I I worry my DD will sleep through her hunger.
We did swaddle at night when she was younger but she started to just wiggle out. Now she's in a sleeping bag. But it's her arms that are the problem.

LindsayS79 Fri 20-Sep-13 12:01:20

My LO is the same and I would advise trying to swaddle her again at night. What did you use to swaddle with? I used a swaddle sheet but she started to break free. However I bought a 'swaddle me' wrap with Velcro and it works a treat! She settles in minutes at night now!

SummerSevern Fri 20-Sep-13 12:10:10

Thanks, I did think about that. Did your DD fight it at first? Does it give them a bit of wriggle room or are they wrapped up super tight?

LindsayS79 Fri 20-Sep-13 12:14:49

She always fights it when I put her in it but she settles in minutes. My LO is 6kg and the wrap I have fits perfect. She has room for her legs to bend etc but it keeps her arms nice and snug! I ordered one on asda direct for a tenner and it's brilliant

duende Fri 20-Sep-13 12:39:58

I second the swaddle me with velcros. My DD is 6weeks and weighs 5.5 kg and its just right. She protests when I put her it in but then sleeps better.
We also have an EcoCocoon with I zip but I feel it's a bit too tight, we only use it for naps.

Gab3478 Fri 20-Sep-13 13:28:13

Yes def invest in a swaddle with zips or Velcro. They always fight it but I read when my dd was that age they all do, but it doesn't mean they don't like it when it's on. Feels mean when you are fighting them though! My dd was and still is a huge wriggler, always on the go. And yes 9 weeks may be young but it is a loooong time when you have no sleep and a baby to look after who can't do anything for herself. Those first few months are hell if you have a non sleeper.

SummerSevern Fri 20-Sep-13 13:47:34

Thanks all. I shall look into getting a proper swaddle. Fingers x.

Charlieburger Fri 20-Sep-13 14:40:32

I could of written your post myself a few weeks ago. Thank god Im not alone! Sorry not very helpful! I agree with Gab3478 I bought a great swaddle after my dutch friend told me about them and now they are in the UK

So easy to use! My worry was I would swaddle too tight or that DD would boil but these are fab I dont have to worry! Anyway let me know how you get on and any tips!!!!!? The magical swaddle might loose it's sandman touch LOL

SummerSevern Fri 20-Sep-13 14:52:51

Thanks Charlie. It's great to know I'm not alone!

lolalotta Fri 20-Sep-13 17:46:41

We have converted our John Lewis cot into a side-car cot for our 3 week old DD simply by taking one side of it off and wedging it between a wall and the side of our bed. We then raised the level of the mattress by layering up the old mattress we used for our eldest DD with the new cot mattress. We have stuffed the gap level in between our mattress and the cot mattress securely so there are no gaps. Both mattresses are level. This means she is in easy reach for comforting/ feeding/ changing in the night without me needing to go far or worry about squashing her. It has worked a treat so far and we are so pleased we gave it a go. grin
I wish we had done this first time round. Any way just a thought, good luck!!!

SummerSevern Sun 22-Sep-13 10:46:38

Well, we used some of your ideas. We bought a velcro swaddle and put the cot right next to the bed so I could just reach over.
She self settled, without a peep, then slept almost silently from 11-4. And she only really woke up because her father was coughing. And I didn't kill him. Oh no.
So, thank you so so much for all your helpful suggestions. You've really saved my sanity. flowers

MistyKnight Sun 22-Sep-13 20:24:08

I would heartily recommend stretchy zipup swaddles -we've had lots of good nights thanks to Swaddlepods when DS was newborn and Ergo Cocoons now he is bigger (8 weeks).
As they zip fasten, there is no escape, and there is just enough stretch in the fabric.

MacMac123 Thu 26-Sep-13 21:49:51

You need to calm down. A 9 week old is tiny, way too young to be left to cry for 2 hours. This is a phase but it's not going to pass quite yet.
Stop panicking about not enjoying your baby and just deal with the tiredness. It won't kill you. At this age it's perfectly normal to be like your baby, mine would only nap in pram or lying on me, always fell asleep on the boob, woke every 2 hours, etc. it passes but it won't pass just yet.
You sound like you need to read some baby books like the baby whisperer to get an idea that this is normal. Perhaps book a night nanny for the night to get some sleep.
But don't leave the baby to cry like that, or hold her to the bed. sorry to sound harsh but it's still early days and you need to find a way to cope with things and accept that this is just the way it is for now.
That said, it won't last long and will soon be forgotten, but when I say soon I mean in a month or three months, not by Sunday.

MacMac123 Thu 26-Sep-13 21:52:40

Ps as you comparing your baby to Gina fords routines? Because they are unrealistic for most babies I've ever come across
Also, remember all these things are cyclical or come in waves. You'll have a night that will push you to breaking point, then you'll have good nights, then you'll have bad nights etc. its normal.

cantthinkofagoodone Thu 26-Sep-13 21:56:46

Oh I doubt she was left to cry but was crying. Tummy sleeping worked for us but your choice. It will pass.

SummerSevern Fri 27-Sep-13 11:02:42

Excuse me, Mac? I have never, ever, left my baby to cry for 2 hours. Nor would I.

SummerSevern Fri 27-Sep-13 11:03:33

We sat in her room with her, hand on her tummy etc.

MacMac123 Fri 27-Sep-13 19:07:43

Oh ok. Misunderstood.

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