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Help - had to lie 10 month old back down 28 TIMES as she keeps standing at bedtime

(6 Posts)
MacMac123 Wed 04-Sep-13 21:22:38

Dd is nearly 10 months, pulling herself up everywhere. She's generally been ok to get to bed and goes down easily - not any more!
I lie here down and as soon as I leave the room, or back away from the cot, she stands up. Tonight she got hysterical, she was standing, I'd walk back in, not look at her, just say 'it's bed time' and lie her down, then leave and it all happens again. And again and again!
She's clearly knackered but she's quite clingy at the moment anyway and I think it's part her not liking me leaving the room and part I have no idea what.
I was determined to not get her back up and to be consistent but it wasn't pleasant and I can't face that 28 put downs every night!
Am I doing the right thing? Is this just a phase? Anyone got any experience?

She's also standing now when she wakes at night which is annoying becuasse not only does standing make her more alert and harder to get back to sleep but she has been sleeping through

MacMac123 Thu 05-Sep-13 23:21:02


ShowOfHands Thu 05-Sep-13 23:25:57

It's utterly normal and usually happens around 10 months. It's a developmental spurt and caused by her brain making the connections that will enable her to walk confidently. She has almost no control whatsoever over it. You will find that even in her sleep she'll start to clamber to her feet, waking herself up. And she'll get frustrated and hysterical and upset with it. She genuinely can't help it. You'll find perhaps that she's v hard to settle and will wake more in the night too. Her brain can't switch off while it's trying to master this new skill and get the connections right in her head.

It's like when you start a new job or prep for an exam and you dream about it, wake up thinking about it and cannot switch off from it. It's as frustrating for her as it is for you.

It won't last and generally you'll find that if she had good sleep patterns before, they'll return afterwards. You just get through it however you can. Get her back up, sit with her, rock her, whatever. You won't create problems. She needs help to relax. Some people even find they sleep better after the developmental spurt as it's blooming exhausting. For everybody!

Expect the same when language skills up a notch in a few months. grin

ShowOfHands Thu 05-Sep-13 23:27:51

Meant to say as well that things like separation anxiety around this time don't help. Her brain's waking her up and then she's alone and stuck standing up and tired/cross. Tough times.

And my post assumes of course that you've ruled out illness/teething/similar. It does sound like a classic developmental spurt though.

MacMac123 Thu 05-Sep-13 23:32:11

Thanks show. The poor thing. Feel bad now that I didn't rock her and just did this quite detached putting down thing!
She is also waking more at night and am pretty sure she's not teething, definitely not ill or hungry

ShowOfHands Fri 06-Sep-13 10:14:44

Oh don't feel bad. Sometimes, it's only possible to see these things in retrospect or from a distance. I can't tell you the number of times that I despaired of a child suddenly waking up or being unsettled or clingy or just out of sorts and I didn't respond as instinctively as I might have done and lo and behold they'd suddenly have another tooth or I'd notice their temperature was up. It's like you just about get a routine sorted and you know what to expect and then suddenly they're behaving completely out of character and without bothering to tell you why. It's guesswork most of the time.

The developmental spurt which leads to walking is only so obvious because it's characterised by them standing up in bed repeatedly and really struggling to sleep and it's usually around 10 months, sometimes slightly earlier or slightly later. And it's a humdinger of a disruption. I remember it vividly with both dc.

Nothing to feel bad about and nothing to worry about. Just get through it and things will be better before you know it. And you'll have a walking child. Which is, er, fun. grin

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