Both together or night weaning first? 22 month old.

[Skang]

I am planning to both night wean and stop DD feeding to sleep. I can't decide if I should night wean first (by dr jay Gordon's method) or try to do both at once. I am leaning towards night weaning after she's initially been fed to sleep first but then part of me thinks its going to be awful either way so why not get both done at the same time? But then maybe stopping feeding to sleep will be easier if she's already used to getting back to sleep without it in the night?

She will also currently not abide DH's presence in the night at all, she gets angry beyond belief if he goes in if she's crying in the evenings (we cosleep so I'm in with her in the night) and we're hoping to change that at some point. Should we try to tackle that at the same time or leave it for another time?

What would you do?

[Purlesque]

You are in the same situation as us.
My ds will be 2 in a couple of weeks and we co sleep. He wakes 3-5 times a night with a big feed at 4am. This is when I can't get back to sleep, so I have decided to try Dr Jay.
We start on Saturday.
I'm only night weaning because I think it will be too much for him to tackle both, he already rolls over and goes to sleep himself so I'm just there to unwind him enough to want to sleep.
When I have night weaned him I will then tackle the going to bed feed.
Have you had broken sleep for two years too?

[mamapants]

I am also wondering if I should try night weaning. DS is just over 14mths and gets up for a feed between 2 and 20 times a night. Normally feeding pretty much constantly from 4:30 5ish. Which is the real killer.
I'm now pregnant with no.2 and think it might be a good idea to night wean. I have read dr jays method. But I know DS will cry and cry. But what else to do?

[Purlesque]

I think they will cry what ever you try.
I've been there, I stopped counting after the twelfth wake up.
It's depressing!

[Skang]

Yes I've had two years of broken sleep too. More than that actually as I barely got a wink of sleep for the second half of my pregnancy!

I don't know know how many times she wakes but its regressed slightly as until recently I thought she was growing out of it. She was rarely feeding before, just sucking, but now she is having full on feeds in the night again. Sometimes she is half awake for an hour or so just flapping about whilst latched on. She does generally turn over to go to sleep but sometimes now it doesn't work and she turns back again for another go.

Tbh I didn't really mind that much when it was quick and then she turned back over. Its when it takes ages and means I have to try and sleep in an uncomfortable position on a side I don't want to.

The more I think about it the more I think I should night wean first. I was intending to start this weekend but I just can't face the thought of being shattered next week and having her on my own so we're going to wait until DH can take some time off in September. I am dreading it. I have been putting it off for ages.

DD was 14 months when I first managed to get her to sleep on her own in bed in the evenings, up until then she had been downstairs on my lap.

I'm not pregnant but it is a massive part of why I want to sort this out. I can't bear the thought of having two wanting me in the night.

[Skang]

Oh, I meant to say. Good luck for Saturday! I hope it doesn't take too long for you.

[Purlesque]

I brought it forward, I just wanted to crack on due to plans in the week.
I've just completed the first waking, it took 2 hours for him to go back to sleep on his own, 45 of sobbing/screaming. Then he just sat with me, then tried to get comfy for 30 minutes and nodded off,
Now for the rest of the night.
I don't think I'll sleep now, I'm anticipating it starting all over again.

Good idea about waiting for your DH to be home with you, you do need the extra support.

[MistyB]

My first instinct is to say break the connection between feeding and dropping off to sleep first. After that, do you want to carry on co sleeping? Do you want your DH to co sleep with your DD? How do you feel about lying to your DD and being tough to see how it goes? I'd be torn and am a great big whimp.

Perhaps after getting her to go to sleep without feeding for a week or so, you could 'go away for a night' and see if she just deals with it and is settled by DH and simply copes without night feeds knowing that you are not there.

I did this when desperate for a nights sleep and took my elder two to my sister's. DS was OK, not a great nights sleep but he and DH survived and it did make later settling by DH easier.