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When will she stop crying at bedtime?

(11 Posts)
BonyM Wed 31-May-06 12:04:47

DD2 (14mths) is now a pretty good sleeper, and will, on a good night, sleep for 12 hours solid.

However, 9 times out of 10, she will cry when I put her in her cot (nap times and night-time), even though she may have been smiling and happy just seconds before. I always give a kiss, tell her I love, say "have a lovely sleep, see you soon" etc. and then walk out of the room. Sometimes she will cry for only a few seconds before settling, other times the cries escalate so I have to go back in, lay her back down and repeat the "sleep-tight"s etc. I never leave her for longer than a couple of minutes at most and always go in straight away if she seems really distressed.

I can remember dd1 at this age would go happily into her cot and wave goodnight to me as I left, so I feel sad that dd2 always seems unhappy about going to sleep.

Before I started the above routine, I would sit in her room for up to an hour sometimes as seh would always cry as soon as I started to leave. She is now sleeping better (and we have our evenings back) but it's been about a month now and I thought that by now she would be happier about going to sleep.

Has anyone experienced the same? If so, how long did it take before your baby was happy about going to bed?

oliveoil Wed 31-May-06 12:10:13

both mine have been COMPLETELY different sleepers

dd1, napped at exactly the same times every day, bed at 7pm, just used to pop her in the cot and she would roll onto her side.

dd2 - nap times change every day and most nights I lie with her on our bed until she gets really sleepy - maybe 5 mins, then take her into her cot and then as she is so tired, it is as if she cannot be bothered fighting it! And she goes off to sleep. Sometimes stays there all night, sometimes ends up in our bed.

Dd2 is 21 months and I am planning on just going with the flow tbh, I really can't leave either of mine to cry.


BonyM Wed 31-May-06 12:15:30

Hmmm, I do hate leaving her to cry, but as I said, it's only for a very short time - usually less than a minute, and the alternative is to hold her until she's asleep (then she will generally wake up when I put her the cot), or sit by the cot until she falls asleep (which has been known to take up to 1.5 hours in the middle of the night!).

She seems to settle much quicker if I'm not in the room, but the price of that seems to be having to let her cry for a bit. They're not usually distresed cries - more tired cries really, but still don't feel 100% happy about leaving her.

jambot Wed 31-May-06 12:30:08

Hi Bony. Lauren does this sometimes as well. To be honest I leave her to it unless I hear she's really getting distessed. I think it's her way of winding down. Nearly every time she'll have a little moan and then it goes quiet. In my experience, going in to her only gets her going even more.

morningpaper Wed 31-May-06 12:33:33

I don't leave mine to cry, I stay and read a book if she wants me there

It's a good excuse to lie and read while DH clears up

BonyM Wed 31-May-06 12:38:18

Hi jambot - yes, Grace is the same as Lauren - if I go in it just seems to wind her up even more sometimes, so only go in if it seems that she isn't going to settle.

morningpaper - I'd happily read a book but it's too dark in her room! Although once or twice in the past I did try by holding her monitor really close to the book (it has a light on it) - not easy though!

lazycow Wed 31-May-06 13:12:39

Ds still cries before naps and bedtime - Always has - He is 18 months old. Very rarely we get only a small amount of crying and once in a blue moon none. He crys even if we are in the room or holding him. .

If I hold him/cuddle him he crys and trys to get down though after about 15mins he usually calms down, then another 30 mins or so of me cuddling/rocking gets him to sleep though sometimes he struggles so hard I can't hold him.

If I stay by the cot he crys and sometimes will stop crying but starts playing etc and won't go to sleep for ages.

If I lie on the bed with him he crys really loudly for about 5-10 mins and tries to get off the bed then usually calms down and takes about 40mins or more to get to sleep.

Generally I cuddle or lie down with him until he is sleepy but this always involves some crying. If after 30-40 mins he is still stuggling/crying I take him to the cot and say ' mummy is going outside now as you seem to be having trouble sleeping with her here' When I do that he invariably wails for 2-3 minutes than conks out like a light.

He has NEVER gone to sleep happily whether I am there or not seems to make very little difference, though uhe is getting better nowadays and my presence calms him more than it used to.

morningpaper Wed 31-May-06 14:54:35

Bony buy one of those clip-on lights that you can attach to your book

BonyM Wed 31-May-06 16:11:24

mp - I had one, but dd2 has picked it up and put it somewhere unknown! She has a habit of relocating things, wandering from one room to another, picking things up and putting them down again, often inside something else .

lazycow - sorry to hear that your ds doesn't settle easily, at least my dd only crys for a minute or two or most. Am hoping she will do so less and less as she gets older.

smellie6 Fri 16-Feb-07 17:24:40

I need help!!!!!!!!!
Can somebody help me and my dh? Our 13 month old ds won't stop crying. He was always so good to go to sleep, but since monday things changed. We have a bedtime routine, so he knows what's going on. On manday he started to scream and it went on for 1 hour, tues was the same. On wed I left the light on and he went straight to sleep. On thurs he screamed for 2 hours. I kept putting him down, trying to calm him, nothing worked. He finally nodded off at 10. He wakes up every morning around 5-6 and starts screaming. I get up, put him down, but it just gets worst. Since wed he cries during the day as well. Me and my husband are both absoluely exhausted, tired and our patient is very thin. We are trying to be calm and not to make too much fuss, but I don't think we can take any more. Our relationship is very tense at the moment. Ds has started nursery this week, could that started this crying?
Thank you very for any help that you can offer.

annmarieandlily Thu 22-Feb-07 20:20:39

God smellie6 sounds like you are having a rough time? Are you sure he's not ill or teething?

My dd starts nursery in 10 days time so I would be really interested to know if you got to the bottom of the problem!?

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