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if anyone is awake please please please give me some advice!

(15 Posts)
NewlywedUpTheDuff Tue 21-May-13 05:45:19

I have a beautiful 4 day old DS, perfect, BF well, sleeping well, etc. But, at night, he WILL NOT settle in his moses basket. He will sleep in it all day, just not at night ?! I don't know what to do.

Me and DH have taken to given in about 4am the last 2 nights and building a sort of fortress around him in our bed and letting him sleep there, which he does instantly for hours.

So tonight I have had to be admitted to hopspital, had to keep DS with me due to breastfeeding, he has let me get 20 mins sleep and I am exhausted. He will sleep if he is on me, but not at all in the little cot they give you. I just don't know how to get him to do it.

Anyone been there done that and got the t-shirt that can help?

sad

latermater Tue 21-May-13 05:54:55

Awake (I live in Kuala Lumpur) and no magic solutions here, but didnt want your plea to go unanswered. Is the hospital cot pressed up right next to your bed? if so, is it possible for you to sleep with your hand touching him inside the cot so he can feel you there? I know it sounds odd, but I remember my newborn falling asleep that way. If not, can you get the nurses to help you have him safely in the bed with you (probably not hospital protocol, but a kind nurse helped me and turned a blind eye on my first night with DS 7 years ago!)? Otherwise, I would just say that you will get through tonight - and tomorrow night - and get back home where you can go back to Operation Fortress! It sounds as if you are doing everything right. Get yourself better asap.

sitzonhandz Tue 21-May-13 05:57:32

Put one of your worn t shirts around the mattress as a cover - it will smell like you. And swaddle.

He's v tiny - he's used to being v close to you and hasn't worked out day and night yet smile

Longdistance Tue 21-May-13 05:59:25

Awe, he's only 4 days old. Enjoy those baby snuggles. He's still tiny to be away from you in a cot/ Moses basket. He'll still want to be close to you, as he's spent the last 9 months inside you. He'll also want to be near his food source. This time doesn't last long, because once he's moving you'll be chasing him for cuddles smile
Also, when your dh turns up to the hospital, make sure he takes your ds ASAP, so you can have some sleep. Hope you're both out of there soon, and home.

TheFallenNinja Tue 21-May-13 06:03:53

First of all, congrats!

Early days are tough, no doubt, DP and I had a shift system for the first few weeks so that at least we would get a decent nights sleep every other night.

For me it was all about getting the routine going, lots of rocking and singing and talking. We tried all the gadgets and helpful toys but our main saviour was infacol. smile

MaMattoo Tue 21-May-13 06:07:50

Congrats!!
Hope you come out of hospital soon.
I was kept back for a week after DS was born. Stuck Tshirt underneath and got a nurse to show me how to tightly cuddle. Worked. He was across my chest all the time that I was awake.
They used to the warmth and tight fit of the womb and muffled sounds.
You will get there!! Every week is a better week!!

pudtat Tue 21-May-13 06:11:37

No expert, but sat here bf my 9 week old. For first few days we had similar situation. Re hospital stay, I expect that all is unfamiliar again and he wants comfort of mum. Try speaking to a nurse to set you up safely as suggested below.

At home, I'm afraid it took perseverance but as I knew he didn't hate Moses basket due to daytime naps, I just kept at it, providing comfort to him in the basket - a hand to hold, or on his chest, a finger to suck and reassuring words. I found a finger to suck in particular could stop him winding himself up into a frenzy of crying, and instead eventually he would notice he was tired. Eventually he would spend longer and longer in there, and we don't have to co sleep at all now ( not since day 10) which was important to us due to DH night terrors.

Also, try to put him to bed when he's tired. The window is once you have seen a couple of yawns but before they cry, can be quite short! For a new born, even a nappy change can be exhausting. This makes them more receptive to sleeping.

Finally, we found swaddling really helped, though they don't all like it. Good luck and congrats on the birth of your baby. It does get better quite quickly, but feels like forever when you're that tired.

desertbaby Tue 21-May-13 06:13:01

Second and third putting a worn top of yours in basket. I'd also pop in a hot water bottle (when home) then when you transfer from your arms to Moses it's nice and toasty still. Other than that, it's just time. You will feel like you are losing your mind! It's hard but you'll all get there.

NewlywedUpTheDuff Tue 21-May-13 17:06:27

Thanks for the advice everyone . I try the hand holding in the basket which doesn't work, tried the clothes in the basket doesn't work, thank god DH turned up early I was so tired and do was DS.

Will persevere, definitely don't want to co-sleep.

AutumnMadness Tue 21-May-13 20:06:53

Can they give you one of those clip-on-your-bedside cots in the hospital? They had then in my maternity unit for co-sleeping-minded people. You could lie closer to your baby with one of those. Alternatively, swaddle, swaddle, swaddle!

NewlywedUpTheDuff Tue 21-May-13 20:16:41

We are home now they let us out this afternoon, but we have the same problem at home with the basket. I tried swaddling but he doesn't like his arms being under the blankets and keeps pulling them out hmm

I don't know. I wish I could co-sleep but I know that there would be no sleeping going in by me worrying about anything happening to him .

smellsofsick Tue 21-May-13 20:28:18

How are you doing? I was in your position 2 years ago and also posted a desperate plea!

Thing is, they do seem to initially hate the bloody things! With DD2 we gave up and co slept but kept persevering with basket and eventually she got it and stayed in it for 10 months.

DD1 liked to be snug and liked being wedged in with a rolled up towel. DD2 is the complete opposite and went into her cot within weeks. Maybe have a look at how your LO Likes to sleep and experiment. DD2 also has a dummy which helps.

Biggest thing though is that as a previous poster said, it's early days and they change very quickly. It will not be this way in six months' time, it won't.

cracker82 Tue 21-May-13 22:13:56

Bless you. I know exactly how you are feeling. Our DS refused to settle in the moses basket at night but would happily snooze there in the day. We found rolling up a nice fleece blanket and putting it down the side of the basket really helped - he would snuggle up to that and fall asleep. I still do it now in his cot. Just make sure its rolled up in such a way that it wont unravel. Good luck and hope you're feeling better soon. The first few weeks are the absolute hardest, sleep deprivation is an absolute killer but it does get easier, promise!

pudtat Wed 22-May-13 02:18:38

Re swaddling, you have to be very firm wrapping their arms in. They don't have control over them for some time and they startle them. They will wobble them free given half a chance, but the theory of the tight wrap is that it reminds them of the snug fit of the final days in the womb.

MummyAbroad Wed 22-May-13 02:50:52

Hello, glad you are out of hospital. Looks like you have had some great advice aleady, I would add:

try experimenting more with what you put in the basket, if the t shirt doesnt work, try a (used!) breast pad or a bra that smells of milk. I seem to remember wearing a cuddly teddy in my bra for a whole afternoon so I could put it in his cot at night....

try using white noise, a fan worked great with ds1 and switching it on became part of his sleep routine. DS2 currently loves napping when the dishwasher is on.

I totally understanding your reticence about co-sleeping, I tried and couldnt do it at all with DS1, couldnt relax for fear of squashing him, funnily enough, I with DS2 i tried it and it felt really natural, I love it because i get soooooo much more sleep!```````````````````````````````````````````````

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