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please help!!

(11 Posts)
CKMUM Sun 21-May-06 15:17:46

My eldest is 2 and 4 months and used to sleep in cot all night until i stayed at a frineds overnight and she had to sleep in bed with me. Not content to sleep in my bed, she has also been sleeping on top of me, often with her hands round my throat or annoyingly playing with my hair and breastfeeding to sleep then waking and screaming as soon as I move her.

I have now got her sleeping next to me instead of on top, and often doesn't feed to sleep now but instead breast feeds for a while then lies beside me and cuddles me and goes to sleep.

However, she still wakes frequently and last night woke every half an hour. I am shattered and just want to curl up in bed on my own and have a good cry because I can't cope any more. My youngest is sleeping a lot better now thank goodness; before it didn't help because they were waking each other up.

Also when i first take DD1 to bed, she climbs and jumps over me and head butts me for an ages before settling down even though she is obviously very tired. I don't know where she gets her energy from as she hadly eats either, but thats for another thread

socks3 Sun 21-May-06 15:49:02

Do you want her back in her cot, or sleeping peacefully in bed with you?

CKMUM Sun 21-May-06 16:38:04

well it wouldn't be a cot. I have converted her cot to a bed and her sister sleeps in teh old cot. I like waking up next to her and being able yo have a cuddle straighta way but ideally would like her in her own bed. When I have tried before she just keeps getting out of bed as her bed is low enough for her to climb out of, she doesn't do that in my bed as she knows its too high for her

sparklemagic Sun 21-May-06 17:45:31

ckmum, I'm afraid the only answer if you do want her in her own bed, is that you have to make the decision, and then stick to it. She will ofcourse get out of bed, but it's just a case of putting her back, and putting her back, until she gets the message. Have you seen any of the famous "House of Tiny Tearaways"?? They have done this and parents seem to return their toddlers literally hundreds of times before they get the last week was a girl who was returned over two hundred times one night - but the next night, she stayed in bed and didn't get out!

So you making the decision, and not backing down no matter what the resistance, is the key.

I reckon spending time playing on her bed, doing fun things together, etc should make it a place she likes to be. Talk about her big girl bed and how proud you are of her that she is soon going to sleep in her big girl bed, etc etc....

I'd say be strong, you are probably going to be benefitting both of you if you can both get a better night's sleep - and you'll be giving your DD a valuable skill,learning to fall asleep and be on her own in her own room....

socks3 Sun 21-May-06 19:28:56

sparklemagic has the right idea. Make a star chart and each morning stick a sticker on if she has stayed in bed. Choose a small reward and stick a picture of it at the end of the week so she can see what she is aiming for. We did this when my son started potty training and it worked really well. Good luck. It will be hard but remember why you are doing it and what the end result will be.

CKMUM Sun 21-May-06 21:09:21

thanks she had a breast feed and went to sleep she normally jumps around until 10, she went to sleep at 8 unexpectedly while feeding i took her to bed and she stirred very slightly but was fine and is still in her bed now!

socks3 Mon 22-May-06 13:47:07

That's great! Was the rest of the night okay?

CKMUM Tue 23-May-06 21:23:23

she slept til 9.30, i settled her and she slept til 1 then i heard a thud and screaming she had afllen out! Settled her again and she woke at 5 and got out of bed and brought her teddy in for me to breastfee it! She was much ahppier that morning and ate better than usual as she asn't sso tired. Had a bit too much energy as you will noyice from my apernting thread yesterday (the one about how useless I am!).

Last night, she settled at 9 ish, i slept for 4 hours, the longest i have slept for since youngest was born but instad of feeling refershed i felt zonked, so when she came into my room, i gave in and pulled her into bed with me

but i woke every 10 minutes then cos her hair was tickling my face so after an hour took her back to he bed where she stayed til 4.30 then she brought a nappy in for me as she was wet.

she has just gone to sleep on her bean bag now after having a tantrum. she breastfed went t sleep i put her in bed she woke and screamed and oushed me away when i tried to comfort her, got off the bed and ahd a fight with her bean bag i jsut left her on her own as i knew she was safe and left her to cry it out.

CKMUM Wed 31-May-06 07:46:51

Ashamed to say I gave up and she is in with me again now. Why does she keep waking? Mind you I am the same, although a she has a nappy she obviously doesn't wake up several times to wee like I do. But I am a very slight sleeper and the slightest noise or movement wakes me, which is why before I had children I had never shared a bed with anyone!

But not only does she keep waking but when I first take her to bed, she jumps and climbs on me and plays for ages even though she is exhausted. where on earth do they get their energy from.

sugarfree Wed 31-May-06 08:35:20

I hate to be the one to tell you but part of the reason she keeps waking,is she gets a result...she gets to sleep with mummy.

Hats off to you mate,a toddler in my bed would make me the grumpiest cow on the planet.

sugarfree Wed 31-May-06 08:36:28

oh and the pissing about before she settles is because you let her,do you stay and give her an audience for her shennanigans?

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